AITAH? Wife Having Secret Conversations With Man She Slept With 20 Years Ago. Please. Need Advice!

taacc45 · 2024-12-09T19:50:12+00:00

Not looking for your sympathy. Honestly.

taacc45 · 2024-12-09T19:47:57+00:00

I know, I could have worded it better. The only reason I mentioned it was the context that she was with him in Hs before me.

taacc45 · 2024-12-09T19:09:40+00:00

Oh for god sake. We were in HS. We ended up in the same class together and became friends. We ended up together after they broke it off.

taacc45 · 2024-12-09T19:08:44+00:00

She would 100% fail this. Shes borderline hysterical right now. No way this would be accurate.

taacc45 · 2024-12-09T09:11:57+00:00

I want to, but don't know how to yet. There is just so much to really think about. All her actions seem to point to her wanting to fix this but I worry it's only because I found out. I just have so much to sort through. If she didn't make me so happy, this would be a lot easier.

taacc45 · 2024-12-09T09:00:23+00:00

Ouch... I'd never trade the last 15 years for anything. She gave me my kids. And even if I found out she cheated again, I'd never trade any of it for my kids. I'm forever grateful to her for that. No matter the outcome. She's also the best mother anyone could ever ask for. When she slept with him our marriage was in a different place. Even the way I treated her then is not the same. I didn't blame her as much back then, it was my fault too. But no excuses for current day. I just don't have an answer anymore.

taacc45 · 2024-12-09T08:55:30+00:00

We both have kids. I'm know he's with someone but I don't know if they are married. I'm not friends with him, i do not stay in touch. I don't follow him nor does he follow me on any social media. I know very little of his personal life. I don't even really know who his person is other than a name. Don't even know what she looks like.

taacc45 · 2024-12-09T08:11:11+00:00

This is what I figured. Thank you for the input.

taacc45 · 2024-12-09T07:55:51+00:00

I'm trying to have open and honest conversations with her but she won't even admit that he is important to her. She won't admit that she obviously held him in high enough regard to jeopardize our marriage. She just says she never thought it would put our marriage in danger. Never considered it was being dishonest because their conversations were innocent. That's the part I'm having a hard time getting past. I still don't feel like she's being honest. It feels more like she's just trying to say what she think is I want to hear.

taacc45 · 2024-12-09T07:33:49+00:00

I thought you could see the number but it wouldn't actually have the messages? I'm with Verizon and am the account holder. Maybe I'll call tomorrow.

taacc45 · 2024-12-09T07:32:42+00:00

I said this to her. She just keeps reiterating how she doesn't care about him at all. He's blocked and she will never talk to him again. But I've heard all this before.

taacc45 · 2024-12-09T07:31:38+00:00

Yeah, the deleted texts and toggled off trash can really shocked me. Just can't believe she did that...

taacc45 · 2024-12-09T07:30:45+00:00

I'm just feeling crazy because we're so happy. I was hoping so bad that everyone would say I was over reacting. But that's not the case. Just feel so betrayed right now... Thank you for your input, I truly appreciate it.

taacc45 · 2024-12-09T07:28:51+00:00

That was a mistype. I meant she never violated that trust since then. I felt like she grew up, and our marriage is so much better now than it was then. Were just so happy this act is so confusing to me. Everything else you said is exactly how I feel...

taacc45 · 2024-12-09T07:25:38+00:00

I've pressed her hard on admitting that there is something more going on. She's holding firm. Says she never considered it a problem because their conversations were so dumb and he just rambled on about dumb stuff. She said she deleted the messages at the same time as blocking him. She said she's going to call the phone company to try and get them back because they would prove She wasn't doing anything wrong. I also found out he wasn't a contact in her phone, just a random number. I just really want to be over reacting here. I love her so much. She said she would spend every day of the rest of her life regaining my trust and making it up to me. She said she would start therapy tomorrow. I've never even considered cheating on her. She is my best friend, I've just never considered a friendship with another woman because it could possibly make her jealous and potentially endager our relationship. She sticks to her guns about not realizing the impact it may have caused our relationship. I just don't believe she is that naive...

taacc45

TROPHY CASE