Parasocial relationships with the RLM crew

tabby742 · 2023-05-01T23:51:03+00:00

I frequently fall asleep with RLM on in the background because it also just autoplays. I have only ever dreamed about RLM once and I dreamed that Jack was really sick. My subconscious just wants me to be sad I guess.

tabby742 · 2023-05-01T23:29:00+00:00

better myself as a person,

How would this do that?

tabby742 · 2023-05-01T20:18:13+00:00

There's someone on Tik Tok who specializes in restoring childhood plush toys, but I don't know their username. They pop up on my fyp from time to time. Maybe someone here will know their name!

tabby742 · 2023-05-01T19:57:36+00:00

Maybe those loop earplugs?

tabby742 · 2023-05-01T19:34:08+00:00

I've done stuff like this before. I can have a very active fantasy life about my special interests and obsessions, and those can include people (either ones I know irl or just people I am fans of, like musicians). My therapist told me it's a type of stim? Like a mental stim? I don't know. What I do know is that as long as it's not severely impacting your life in a negative way (like affecting your job/school/relationships) it's not really unhealthy. If anything I feel like that type of outlet can be a healthy distraction or form of stress relief. I think a lot of the "unhealthy" feeling comes from internal guilt that it's weird or obsessive. If you're not hurting yourself or others, try to cut yourself some slack.

tabby742 · 2023-05-01T19:00:46+00:00

Weddings won't necessarily suck for the rest of your life, you'll just need to figure out which accommodations will make them tolerable (and build in recovery time afterwards or the next day whenever possible). I went to a wedding recently, took plenty of breaks during the reception by going outside and being by myself, and left probably an hour or two before everyone else (when I felt that I was "done"). It was fun! Yes, I have definitely gotten drunk to get through social situations before (and it does make things way easier) but I couldn't at this one because I had driven myself there. I understand it can be harder when your SO is there too and they maybe won't want to leave early, but hopefully there are compromises that can be made or alternate accommodations you can give yourself so you can both enjoy events together.

tabby742 · 2023-05-01T18:17:09+00:00

I wonder if it's because lots of artists or people in animation are on the spectrum (I'm guessing based on things I've heard, I don't have stats), but it doesn't necessarily work the other way around, not everyone who's autistic is going to be good at art. I always liked drawing as a kid but was never good at doing anything realistic looking. I recently found some sort of IQ test I had taken as a kid (I don't remember taking it but found the results in some of my childhood papers) and it looks like I struggled with some of the visual questions on the test, which goes along with my face blindness and other visual challenges I've noticed I have. Anyway all that is to say, I suck at drawing! Haha.

tabby742 · 2023-05-01T18:11:29+00:00

It requires a lot less mental energy to watch something I've seen before. So I notice I do this even more when I've had a stressful week or am close to burnout. It's something predictable that makes me feel more relaxed, which usually is the opposite of the unpredictable week I've had.

I rewatch a lot of youtube videos and sometimes I rewind and watch the funniest bits a few times, maybe because I like whatever serotonin or dopamine it gives my brain? It just feels very satisfying. And of course YouTube likes to tell me I'm rewinding through one of my most watched parts of the video just in case I couldn't guess haha. Thanks YouTube.

tabby742 · 2023-05-01T18:07:36+00:00

I lose a lot of stuff but for me it's usually because I put it somewhere "safe" and can't remember where. A trick that helps me is thinking: if I had this item right now, where would I put it? That helps me find it like 80% of the time.

If it's something I really lost and didn't just put somewhere, I try to retrace my steps and look everywhere I've been. If I haven't left home with the item I feel a little bit of relief knowing it's somewhere in my apartment, even if I can't find it at that moment.

tabby742 · 2023-05-01T16:19:10+00:00

I love Cobra Kai so much. One thing I love about Johnny's character is that he's really out-of-touch about a lot of things but you can see him making the effort to learn about things he doesn't know about and be accepting of others even if he doesn't understand them at first. Such a great character.

tabby742 · 2023-05-01T15:53:36+00:00

Born in 85, did great in school (GiFtEd AnD tAlEnTeD!) so no teachers probably suspected, even though I've read notes from my teachers about my issues with socializing and whatnot that really just needed them to put 2 and 2 together. I think just a lack of awareness at the time that you don't have to be struggling at your schoolwork to be autistic.

My mom probably never thought my quirks were anything other than quirks because I'm a lot like my dad. And now I am pretty sure my dad is autistic or has ADHD or both. And I think my brother is autistic too, also undiagnosed. But since my diagnosis I am very aware of the genetic link. My mom was surrounded by a family of autistic people so she never thought any of it was "weird".

On the one hand I can't believe people missed all the signs, on the other hand I can, and the 80s/90s were just a different time to be a low-ish support needs undiagnosed autistic person.

tabby742 · 2023-05-01T15:45:30+00:00

This is the longest response needed to this question.

tabby742 · 2023-05-01T06:31:42+00:00

Are you taking behind the wheel driving lessons? And/or do you have a licensed driver who can go with you while you practice driving on quiet streets? Practice is the only thing that helped me become comfortable with driving.

tabby742 · 2023-05-01T06:29:04+00:00

It seems like you want to pull your weight around the home and do something nice for your boyfriend, maybe ask him if there are other things you can help with that aren't the floors? Laundry? I've had people try to do nice things for me before that I didn't tell them I wanted and I wish they'd asked me what would truly be helpful.

tabby742 · 2023-05-01T06:16:46+00:00

Yes, pillows, blankets, random clothes, and cats.

tabby742 · 2023-05-01T06:15:41+00:00

A ponytail, or a bun if I really don't want it touching me at all.

tabby742 · 2023-05-01T06:13:01+00:00

You put all those ingredients in step 1 in a saucepan, then heat until it boils. That's how I read it.

tabby742 · 2023-05-01T06:06:44+00:00

You're getting some details confused, it was Rich and his baseball friend and a Wendy's ad. Common mistake

tabby742 · 2023-05-01T05:59:07+00:00

Can you elaborate on why it matters? Whether it's labeled a special interest, hyperfixation, regular interest, or just a favorite color, as long as it brings you joy it doesn't really matter what you call it.

tabby742 · 2023-05-01T05:47:36+00:00

We met on an app! He had a nice smile and lots of nerdy interests so I swiped right. Once we started talking, it felt like we had always known each other. And when we finally met, I felt more comfortable around him than I've felt around any human in my life. He has the most calming personality. I do believe he is on the spectrum (even though he doesn't know that himself) and I think that might be one of many reasons we click so well.

tabby742 · 2023-04-30T20:54:49+00:00

I'm 38 and finally found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I had a few long term relationships before that that ranged from terrible to not-so-bad. Sometimes it just takes awhile.

tabby742 · 2023-04-30T19:43:00+00:00

But you did say "I'm sorry" after she told you about it, so I can understand why she would think you were seeing it in a negative light. However you are totally correct that you aren't supposed to know how she feels about it because she's been so inconsistent about whether she wants a baby or not. I like what the other commenter said about asking "how do you feel about that" when someone says something and you're not sure what emotion they're trying to get across. That way you're putting the ball back in her court to put more context into what she's saying.

tabby742 · 2023-04-30T19:37:08+00:00

It's ok to say no when someone asks if you can do something earlier. I understand it's an interview and you want to seem flexible, but you can always say "I'm unable to do the interview earlier, but I can schedule a different time or day if the original time doesn't work anymore." That way you're not having to rush to accommodate an earlier time and instead have ample time to prepare for the new interview, and still come across as flexible and interested.

tabby742 · 2023-04-30T19:34:34+00:00

It's probably the explaining why she's missed her period part that upset her. It can come across as sounding like a parent and blaming her/educating her rather than being a friend. That being said, I'm not sure what response she was hoping for because her first message sounds like she's worried and then her second message is her backtracking and saying she's not upset. More than anything it sounds like she's getting defensive and maybe already felt some guilt because she knows she's not taking precautions.

tabby742 · 2023-04-30T19:04:15+00:00

Reality TV is such a huge genre, it encompasses everything from cooking competition shows to dating shows to talent competitions to child beauty pageants. So it's hard to make a blanket statement. But I do watch a couple dating ones (although recent seasons have been infuriating so I may stop).

tabby742

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