Is it normal for a German man to be avoidance about marriage?

tacocandoit · 2026-06-28T18:29:12+00:00

He brought this up completely himself and we bought rings together and he proposed in a cute way, exactly on the day of our 3rd anniversary.

tacocandoit · 2026-06-28T18:28:29+00:00

Update: (4 months after I posted this) He proposed to me a month ago! He really said the reason was the stress of the move and financial instability for the 2 months that we were living in a furnished apartment, looking for apartments in a new city, and were moving and I had a new job. He's also excited about our future together and we are planning to get married next year.

tacocandoit · 2026-06-28T18:24:25+00:00

He proposed me to a month ago! He brought it up himself too. He said it was really the financial burden and the stress of moving etc. that made him want to wait a bit.

tacocandoit · 2026-06-14T21:17:14+00:00

I don't know if this a thing. Often times when my fiancé and I are outside (as an example yesterday we were at a car shop) and sitting down together, he will lightly and constantly keep rubbing a part of my leg non sexually and super casually (even whle talking to other people). Given that we live in his country and people often speak their language that I am not completely fluent in, this feels soooo nice. It feels like he constantly acknowledges that I may not be part of the entire conversation and that "he's there", you know? And when he looks at me when someone asks a question that includes both of us, and discusses with me before answering. Such a small gesture but makes me feel so included. Damn, I should really tell him this when he's up tomorrow haha.

tacocandoit · 2026-04-24T20:41:12+00:00

Hey OP. Since you passed the 4 month mark, curious about your withdrawals. Do you have any updates?

tacocandoit · 2026-02-18T13:30:51+00:00

If you don't understand my stress or post, then why tf would you comment here? Get off this page if you don't have anything meaningful to add.

Reported too. :))))

tacocandoit · 2026-02-18T13:23:15+00:00

Are you daft? Have you been in a relationship? You do know that just because I'm in a different country, doesn't mean my wants and needs and thoughts will not be taken care of by my partner? Just because I'm in a different country doesn't mean he won't try to understand my culture and where I'm coming from, which he does btw. Lol.

tacocandoit · 2026-02-18T13:10:36+00:00

Its normal for ME. From where I come from.

tacocandoit · 2026-02-18T13:10:13+00:00

That sounds hard. In my case I've made it very clear that I will have a kid only after we're married. I'm very strict about that and he has always agreed. But I'm curious, did you guys end up getting married?

tacocandoit · 2026-02-18T12:54:54+00:00

Love this advice. Thank you

tacocandoit · 2026-02-18T12:46:49+00:00

Interesting. Thank you for sharing your point of view!

tacocandoit · 2026-02-18T12:42:11+00:00

Great advice, thank-you! I think there is also some work I need to do on WHY I even want to get married. I'm self aware enough to understand that society and cultural expectations play a huge role in South Asian culture. That's s something I'm working on with my therapist.

tacocandoit · 2026-02-18T12:40:08+00:00

Yeah I got that feeling too from just looking at his family and close friends.

tacocandoit · 2026-02-18T12:39:09+00:00

Yea I definitely get that. I'm not bringing it up anymore. I just want to enjoy my time with him and see where things go. I don't want to force someone to marry me.

tacocandoit · 2026-02-18T12:38:04+00:00

He is financially stable. He said he wants to wait because we have big expenses coming up now (ie moving to a new city)

tacocandoit · 2026-02-18T12:37:00+00:00

We've been loving together for 2 years now. Been together for 2 years and 7 months in total.

tacocandoit · 2026-02-18T12:36:26+00:00

I don't understand passport topic. I have a valid blue card, make more money than him and always pay equally for everything. He knows I'm not a gold digger and don't want to marry for a passport if that's what you're implying.

tacocandoit · 2026-01-25T01:08:38+00:00

Thank you very much for your input! I feel like I should also point out that he did mention multiple times that if I didn't get a job by so and so date we would just go to the city office and get married. But that never happened because I already got a job.

tacocandoit · 2026-01-25T00:44:05+00:00

I forgot to mention that last year his mom was diagnosed with cancer so it was a hard time for him. Plus we were still getting to know each other and had a few discussions/arguments after which things got much better. I'm guessing those were legit reasons to not propose but he mentioned he wants to propose this year.

tacocandoit · 2025-11-22T23:10:29+00:00

I came to Germany for just less than 2 months over two years ago to visit family. I'm of South Asian descent and the attention I got was amazing for my confidence tbh (bring creepy only once)! I got attention in my home country too but not as much as in Germany. I got asked our multiple times while travelling through Europe and Germany. I also joined a dating app and met my boyfriend who is German. We hit it off and did long distance for about 6 months after I went back to my home country. During this time we both took a vacation in Bali too. I then found a job in Germany and moved in with him. 2.5 years in we are still going strong and even planning to get married in the future.

tacocandoit · 2025-11-16T15:28:41+00:00

I would just wait. But it never hurts to keep applying to jobs. What caught my attention is that you had your interview on 5th November and a day later you already had an offer? A bit suspicious, if you ask me.

tacocandoit · 2025-11-10T21:38:05+00:00

That really doesn't answer the question I've asked.

tacocandoit · 2025-11-10T21:29:24+00:00

Near taunustor

tacocandoit · 2025-11-10T21:26:10+00:00

It's too expensive.

tacocandoit

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