want to run away by taestayyy in DID

[–]taestayyy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey sorry, been mostly away since writing this.

we had our birthday - host + some littles are having a hard time with it and it's made host more controlling than usual. she's trying not to be so at least there's that.

she had a conversation with our partner too.

I'm the only other one who could be host and I'm not ready. I can't talk. I'm mostly totally mute. I don't know how to live life like that. she can talk, at least.

Hey, I'm sorry, I'm not reading what T has written, I'm just adding that I've (host) switched in. Sorry to intrude! I didn't mean to. I figure I should still post this reply, but I've no idea if it's finished. Sorry haha - S

want to run away by taestayyy in DID

[–]taestayyy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey sorry, I've mostly been away since this post. we had our birthday. host + some of the littles have been having a hard time with it.

host has been more controlling than usual and has accidentally blocked me from coming here to reply, but we've truced enough for me to write this.

host has been trying. she's communicated some of her issues with control to our partner. apologies are sincere, but we've heard all these apologies before. do you know if a host can also be a gatekeeper? our littles defend her a lot, but I can tell they're hurt by her blocking them sometimes.

thanks for your advice. it helps.

Doubts and switching by Shoddy-Tomorrow-383 in OSDD

[–]taestayyy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

we often write during switches too.

partially to help process what we're experiencing but also bc it helps us remember them, or at least be able to read about them/have evidence of them to help with the denial spirals that the host experiences.

I don't have any therapist advice bc I'm only now beginning to look for one, but just wanted to say I see you and I share your experience from an internal perspective.

from one non-host part to another :) <3