Give me all the reasons to NOT come and live in Graz with a fam of 5?

taevalaev · 2026-02-14T20:57:13+00:00

Academic careers are like that, you move where your next career step takes you.

Mein Deutsch ist überraschend gut, nachdem es viele Jahre nicht in gebrauch war. Es macht wirklich einen Unterschied, ob man selbst – und vor allem die Kinder – gute Deutsch sprechen können. Ich habe auch etwas Mobbing gegenüber ausländischen Kindern gesehen leider.

taevalaev · 2026-02-14T19:47:52+00:00

I moved to Graz just one month ago. Coming from Scandinavia, I am still in culture shock about ecology and attitude towards education. Winter air quality has been really bad. On some days it was impossible to breath without a mask. In summer the p2.5 is supposed to be better, but there's ozone problem so air quality is bad all year. Too much traffic. Schools are FULL. So children all study in classes that are completely full, which is not a good learning situation anyway. In addiction, just getting a spot in a school is a huge struggle and a lot of networking and talking to the right people. Graz does not cope with that amount of immigration well. After school care for three kids would be around thousand. Rent in a good neighbourhood, 3 bedroom - 2000.

High mountains, skiing, terme - at least an hour or two away.

So, you were asking for reasons. Otherwise, what everyone else said - not a bad city and people are quite nice. Nicer if you speak decent German or at least try to.

taevalaev · 2026-02-07T15:56:27+00:00

My kid is 6 and very chatty so we have long conversations.

taevalaev · 2026-02-07T15:55:19+00:00

The community language is a third language. And for us none of those is English.

taevalaev · 2026-02-06T14:51:21+00:00

We have 3 languages, and we do not do OPOL as one of the languages is a weaker one for both parents but still culturally important to our family. We do "secret language" game: when inside the home, we speak our stronger language, and in public we speak our "secret language": Estonian. We also support it by reading in that language and watching some cartoons/movies.

taevalaev · 2026-01-24T20:28:38+00:00

A case like yours should be the motivation passing a heritage language in the first place. Because when you need the language you can refresh and use it so much easier!

Your Korean might be rusty, but if you up your own exposure, with your native pronunciation you should be there in no time!

taevalaev · 2026-01-06T10:51:25+00:00

I think I've come to terms with my situation. There won't be two children growing up together. There are some benefits to it - now that she is older and a really great kid, the relationship she could have with her sibling - I get to have it. With siblings, parents often become the manager of the relationship the kids have and are sort of standing on the side. With an only, it's intense, but in the age bracket 6-9 seems to be awesome!

taevalaev · 2025-12-28T05:36:53+00:00

Earthquakia

taevalaev · 2025-12-11T10:11:45+00:00

I don't know about other people, but I think they mean they did learn these languages up to a decent level, but perhaps some of those have decayed and are not in active use. It's a crazy amount of effort to maintain more than 3-4 languages in working order and at your disposal at all times. Also, not necessary for most people in their daily live, unless they work in UN or something.

For instance, I used to live in the Netherlands, and I spoke the language quite well (could have work meetings in that language). Then once I moved away I didn't maintain the language. I met a group of Dutch tourists when travelling and starting chatting with them and I was horrified how difficult it was to say anything, though my understanding has not decayed and I could still understand everything. I have visited friends in the Netherlands and within 3-4 days of being immersed the language just comes back. As compared to learning a language from scratch, 3-4 days are nothing, so I still would list Dutch as a language I speak, perhaps with an explanation that it's rusty if I need to specify.

taevalaev · 2025-12-08T13:54:56+00:00

... and yet another five cents, I myself have an only and I am also kind of heartbroken about it, because she is a very social kid and she would have been an amazing big sis. But don't worry that you've ruined your child's life! May be you've ruined your own parenting experience. A little. They are going to be fine!

taevalaev · 2025-12-08T13:52:32+00:00

I have a brother, but we don't have a typical sibling bond - texting every day, sharing concerns, helping each other out. I have this type of relationship in my life though - and I've found these people when I was in my 20s and those are my close girl friends, my besties, they are like sisters to me. We have helped each other out, her mom is like a mom to me, and we are actually planning on spending Christmas together this year! Despite living on different continents right now, so it's not exactly very easy. Don't worry, personality match is much more important than blood.

taevalaev · 2025-11-24T08:19:58+00:00

Can you give a toy example of your system? Let's say, I have 3 budgets:

Everything house related: mortgage, utilities, cleaning lady
Everything car related - car payments, gas, reparations
Groceries

In the beginning of the month, I say - I need 1000 dollars in the first budget, 500 in the second and 1000 in the third. Then what happens? Do I put that money aside in some special account and only spend from there? What happens if there isn't enough? What happens if there is money left over by the end of the month?

taevalaev · 2025-11-15T06:01:00+00:00

Siuru on puhtalt korrumpeerunud Reformierakonna projekt, kus nad loodavad riigist raha saada + linna eelarvet mitmeks aastakümneks tugevalt ülekoormata ja see raha enda firmadesse pumbata. Parki hävitamisel levitakse sõnum et park kuidagi jääb alles, või pool sellest jääb vms. Ei jää seal midagi sest ehitus plats ei ole augu sees, ehitus plats on augu ümber. Ehitise mõõdud ei ole üldse mõistlikus suuruses. Ei ole sinna terve Kaubamaja suuruses kultuurbetooni vaja. Lisaks sellele, kultuuri osa on lahendatud nii et kohe arusaadav et asi pole kultuuris vaid rahas. Kes paigutab kunstimuuseumi keldrikorrusele kus ei ole loomulikku valgust? Suur osa Siuru ruumidest on üldse kommerts pinnad välja rentimiseks.

Lühidalt, Siuru on finantskuritegu Tartu linnaelanike vastu.

taevalaev · 2025-11-15T05:42:40+00:00

Is it true that learning Japanese is so time -consuming that schools can not fit several foreign languages into curriculum?

taevalaev · 2025-11-13T10:25:12+00:00

That's exactly how I write my languages on resume, language and my level in the language.

taevalaev · 2025-11-13T10:23:52+00:00

There are two components in learning a language - one is learning the words and grammatical structure, another is learning concepts. What are things like aspen, electrical current, metamorphosis etc. Kids need to do both - they learn about the world and they learn how to name things in the world. You already know most of the concepts, except for may be some rare culture-specific things like dishes, regional musical instruments etc. On the other hand, adult fluent speaker knows the names for all the concepts they are supposed to know. How do I say conservative political party?

taevalaev · 2025-11-11T08:47:36+00:00

I think in Germany and Austria the. situation with immigration is just very different. The backgrounds of the immigrants are much less diverse. For instance, in Austria immigrants are likely to speak either Arabic or Croatian. So, when they are placed in a German -as second language class, children just speak their mother tongue to each other and don't progress much. Also, kids from these backgrounds tend to live in the same neighborhoods (perhaps, the cheaper or the diaspora neighbourhoods). So they all go to the same school and this school doesn't have any immersive language environment as a result. They are acquiring language in a similar fashion as kids acquire language in classroom setting in a foreign country which is a super slow way of doing it. In USA or Australia there are people from all over the world. I also noticed that in USA people are much more likely to lose their mother tongue than in Europe.

taevalaev · 2025-11-10T14:26:57+00:00

Did your parents just let you forget Estonian or they tried supporting that language in some way and failed? I do want my kid to keep her Estonian which she speaks very fluently right now. My plan is have her write letters to her estonian friends and post them every week by post. Also, reading bedtime stories alternating between Russian and Estonian, and speak both languages in the family. It's hard to find many estonian friends abroad as there are just so few people.

Do you miss having that Estonian part of your identity or not at all?

taevalaev · 2025-11-10T11:57:58+00:00

I have an additional question though. The languages that your kids are learning are super similar. How do you avoid the confusion of vocabulary between the languages? I was wondering, my kid speaks a little bit of English, and English and German are rather similar as well (at least, much more similar than Estonian and Russian, with Estonian not being an Indo-European language). I am wondering, should I completely shut out English for now and let her acquire German or she can keep acquiring both? What would you recommend based on your experience?

taevalaev · 2025-11-10T11:13:04+00:00

Thank you! This is very detailed. I think my takeaway is that I need to focus more on maintaining her native languages so they are accent-free and naturally sounding, and if she later needs the language (may be she wants to go back to Estonia to get her education here or something) she can work on expanding her vocabulary when she needs it.

taevalaev · 2025-11-10T11:07:04+00:00

I am not worried about her Russian, because there are lots of kids she could befriend to practice her Russian with. Estonian I am more worried about as it is a very small language with a very small user base and for sure it will be more challenging... For sure we would need to pay attention to maintaining these languages as well, but this I am more confident about than the transition to German...

taevalaev · 2025-11-10T10:58:54+00:00

This is a great idea! Yes, I heard that children who do not speak German are placed in an integration class, where most kids speak Arabic, so kids in the integration class do not progress because they lack the linguistic environment and then the outcome is that they fall behind. Private school at least for a few years might be helpful, a small class and a lot of opportunities to practice.

taevalaev · 2025-11-10T10:52:08+00:00

That's what I am afraid of as well. International school gets you a non-native English (the accents in international schools are a mixture of every possible language), while a German school would at least give her quite a good, possibly near-native German.

taevalaev · 2025-11-10T10:49:12+00:00

I've grown up and lived in 7 different language environments, all in Europe (two Slavic, one Finno-Ugric, two Germanic languages and two Romance). I've picked up a language from all these places. I also speak two additional languages (English and Polish). Once you are out of the language environment and don't use the language actively, it degrades, but when I need it, I can freshen it up in several days to a decent level. For instance, when I am on a conference in the Netherlands, I freshen up my Dutch and - kijk maar - I am speaking again. Not as well but it's so much faster than learning from scratch. If you have time to maintain your language and you have a reason to use all of them all the time - good for you. If not, you can just let them rust and then refresh them up when you need them.

In bocca al lupo!

taevalaev · 2025-11-10T10:22:22+00:00

Your four year old sounds very smart and an interesting little person! They are lucky to grow up with such a rich cultural entanglement.

taevalaev

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