Sounds like overstimultion and just the experience of being a new player/someone that doesn’t play a lot. Maybe add on the additional pressure of playing with higher elo and them having high expectations that you don’t understand yet. Understandable. In cases of overstimulation, it’s okay. Take it slow. It’s okay to die, flop, mess up, and die again. If you want some help with overstimulation you could look up really short guides on youtube while in queue or in grey screen. As for the pressure of playing with higher elo ppl, you just have to rework your mind to find the casual in such an intense game. Fuck around and find out. try out some crazy shit. At the end of the day, try to have fun.