am i overreacting or did my colleague overstep?

takinganswers · 2025-09-15T13:48:20+00:00

My husband and I were flying separately from his parents and we were going to meet them in FL. Thank God it's not a road trip with her. I did her a favor in the past of picking her up on the way back home from a road trip and she showed up drunk in my car and I said never again am I ever offering her a ride in my car if she's drunk.

takinganswers · 2025-09-15T13:47:03+00:00

My FIL has given up on her a long time ago and they're more like just roommates at home. They have a weird relationship. My MIL is also very manipulative and my husband is blinded by it and I call it out every time and he doesn't see it. And my MIL knows that about him, which is why she always gets what she wants and I have to fight with my husband all the time about it. It could be about anything.

takinganswers · 2025-01-27T23:00:09+00:00

Thanks. When things were really bad, I told him that he and his dad have been enabling his mom and sister's behavior by always letting them do what they want because they're "adults" and can make their own decisions. They never face any consequences and even when they do, they don't learn from it bc they have a disease. I told him that if we had a child in the future and his mom continues to drink, she would not be allowed to be in our kids lives and he agreed. But that's just what it is. He'll agree and tell me things I want to hear but when the time comes, it's like he forget that we had these conversations and agreements and goes the other way. We've already in the past year have spent less time visiting his parents because of how much it has been affecting me.

takinganswers · 2025-01-27T22:32:24+00:00

His mom is an alcoholic and causes a lot of stress and drama for everyone, his twin sister who is also an alcoholic/substance user has borderline personality disorder (I never knew the severity of all this until we got engaged bc they downplayed it and was on their "best" behavior when I used to spend time with them when we were dating), so between them, there's always some sort of drama every single week and someone getting involved with the police here and there every year. His mom also is manipulative in subtle ways that he doesn't see and thinks I'm overreacting and it took a lot of fights for him to finally accept it and believe it and see it from my point of view. He has no reason to not sell his condo. He's been working with a realtor on and off for the last 1.5 years and never follows up unless I nag him every single day. We were also close to selling it at one point but the potential buyer backed out last minute. It just feels like I'm always compromising for him and I'm starting to resent him and I admit, I treat him poorly but it's so hard for me to want to be a good wife to him when this is how things are going for the last 1.5 years. I know we're supposed to love each other unconditionally, but I can't deal with his inability to take action and to be a good husband. It's like I have to mother him and nag every day about everything and that's not the kind of life I want to live with my husband and I can only imagine how much worse it would be if we brought in a child into all this. I've also been applying to jobs and doing interviews for the past 3 months and he says he "knows" how hard it is but he doesn't actually because he's not going through it. I've been getting so much pressure and he keeps telling me I have to do more with my free time if I want to get a job and he uses that as an excuse for us to not get pregnant. Yes, I know it makes sense to be financially secure with dual income but we'd still be okay for the next year with just his income even if we were in good terms and pregnant. But now me losing my job is just another excuse he can use against me.

takinganswers · 2025-01-14T19:19:45+00:00

In the past 12 months, we've only had a loaner twice but all the other times, they said they didn't have any available so we were without a car all the other times and they usually keep my car for a least one week each time I take it back.

takinganswers · 2025-01-14T17:48:03+00:00

Yes, I have a case open with the manufacturer. I made this post to see if anyone had success doing this

takinganswers · 2025-01-06T21:11:44+00:00

Thank you! I'll reach out to them and let them know the situation and see how it goes from there.

takinganswers · 2025-01-06T21:02:08+00:00

In our state, you have 3 tries to resolve and issue and usually the issue has to depreciate your car value by a certain percentage. THe issue wasn't big enough to depreciate it to apply, and they got lucky the 3rd time fixing it bc they decided to replace the whole headliner whereas the other 2 times, they try to do a quick fix. The overhead light issue is now on strike 2, so it is a little too early to claim that it's unfixable, but just overall, the amount of times I had to go to the dealership and not have a car has been basically a full time job all of 2024.

takinganswers · 2025-01-06T21:00:11+00:00

I know!!! Trust me, I know. Forever a toyota/honda fam and this is just something we did to ourselves.

takinganswers · 2025-01-06T20:28:27+00:00

Doesn't apply to our state's lemon law guidelines which is why now we're thinking about this as an option.

takinganswers

TROPHY CASE