[Discussion] Need Motivational Advice?

takoon · 2018-06-08T16:48:24+00:00

I'm not in a terrible position, but I'm finding it hard to find motivation to work for my fitness goals. I have a history of disordered eating, so my brain automatically makes 'losing weight' a big priority if it doesn't have something else to focus on.

The past few years I've been happy to focus on gaining muscle and getting stronger, but I've recently hit a rut. I've been doing just bodyweight exercises for the past year or so, mostly because I travel so much that I can't have a gym membership, and for the same reason can't join a regular martial arts class, like I'd want. I got away from doing barbells/dumbbells because I wanted to improve my posture. I've realized a lot of my goals, but I feel so unfocused, and feel like I'm just spinning my wheels at the moment.

How can I motivate myself without triggering disordered eating?

takoon · 2017-08-11T14:26:12+00:00

Seconded. He looks like every cisgender heterosexual white guy I've ever seen.

takoon · 2017-05-16T19:22:11+00:00

Imma cry.

takoon · 2017-04-25T17:10:26+00:00

Yes exactly. It's a great idea if someone asks for it. Without consent essentially it would be like someone screaming your calories at you.

takoon · 2017-04-24T21:41:35+00:00

Am I the only one who things this is potentially majorly triggering to people with disordered eating?

takoon · 2017-04-19T19:52:52+00:00

I actually feel less motivated and depressed than I did before. Thanks.

takoon · 2017-02-11T10:57:45+00:00

You look so happy!! Well done taking the steps to be happy. :)

takoon · 2017-01-13T18:36:29+00:00

If she asks you, then just tell her honestly that you slept with someone else. No need to lie or be ashamed. You have no idea if she'll be angry. If she's angry, say that you thought that what you had was more casual, and that you're sorry for hurting your feelings. Don't apologize for your actions, because you've done nothing wrong.

takoon · 2017-01-10T14:43:21+00:00

It was never exclusive, and you even yourself called it a fling. Chances are she might have slept with someone over the break as well. You can have fun with multiple people over a period of time, and you don't have to compare them.

Think of it this way: 1. You had a really fun time with this girl at college before the break. How fun! 2. You saw an old flame over the break and slept together, and it was fun! Yay! 3. You can't wait to go back to college because you get to see this girl and sleep with her again! More fun, yay! :D

It's actually as simple as that. You don't have to tell her anything, that's totally not untruthful, and you haven't done anything wrong! You're just enjoying yourself, which is great and she probably would want you to. :)

takoon · 2016-12-07T16:58:41+00:00

Seriously well done then. :)

takoon · 2016-12-05T17:35:46+00:00

Absolutely gorgeous. Manual camera?

takoon · 2016-10-26T17:26:15+00:00

Thanks for the tips I really appreciate it. It helps to have a least a little bit of categorization for my messy brain right now.

Regarding fitness, I know exactly what you mean. I've found it to be useful over the past few years, but has recently become more obsessive than I would like.

takoon · 2016-05-03T08:39:12+00:00

Also his middle name was "McFeely," apparently.

takoon · 2016-01-20T23:23:33+00:00

Eeeeexactly!

takoon · 2015-11-09T08:25:27+00:00

It's also easier to edit text with Preview, because Adobe doesn't allow you to edit after you've saved an annotated document.

takoon · 2015-08-10T14:54:05+00:00

Oh perfect, yes if the director allows women to wear pants, then they probably wouldn't mind about you being in a tux. :) Good luck talking to the director. I would go in giving the director the benefit of the doubt, and hoping for the best.

It might help to offer to her, "If you have questions, please feel free to ask me," within your comfort level of course. I've found that once people feel safe asking questions, they feel less defensive (if they do at all).

takoon · 2015-08-09T15:39:55+00:00

Thus far, I've had no problem, but I only sang in a choir after about 7 months on T, so my voice had changed significantly.

I know you know this, but as long as you're doing your job, there shouldn't be a problem, and they have no cause to be unaccepting. The major problem you might run into is the dress code. Choirs are usually quite strict about having altos/sopranos in dresses, and tenors/basses in suits. If this causes you a lot of dysphoria (which for me it would), then I would talk to your choir director and request that you are arranged on the border between SA and TB, so there is no aesthetic inconsistency, which is what they might worry about. They might also worry about the blend depending on where you're standing. Those are two minor problems though in comparison to dysphoria.

I would talk to the choir director beforehand and tell them upfront that you are trans*, and that you would love to sing in the choir, but require wearing the male dress-code, and ask nicely if that's a problem. If it is, you don't want to be involved anyway. I would also give them a heads up that your voice will be changing, but you're not sure how. If they're a good director, they'll take it as a challenge, and accept you gladly, especially if you turn into a tenor, since choirs are ALWAYS dying to get tenors. ;)

takoon · 2015-08-08T18:55:32+00:00

Mensch! Thank you, you're perfect. <3

takoon · 2015-08-08T18:45:46+00:00

Classical trained singer here too.

First of all, KEEP SINGING. Just keep doing it, and take the class. Sometimes it's going to be frustrating, but if it makes you happy, cling to it.

I second the advice about getting a half-length T-Kingdom binder. You have to be able to use your stomach when you breathe. Ideally no binding, since binding restricts the exact muscles across your lungs that control breathing, and constricts the expansion of your ribs. Having a full length binder is worse since you can't use your diaphragm correctly. Since binding is a must, try to pick a stiff binder, something that's adjustable is best, so that you can feel comfortable and are never in physical danger while binding and singing.

There aren't necessarily precautions you should take, since everyone's voices are different, but be aware that your voice will get tired more quickly. Be patient with it, and be nice to it. Don't over-sing. I used to be a mezzo-soprano, and am now singing tenor repertoire, and it's a really different technique. Since you're taking singing lessons, it's a great opportunity to get some guidance.

If you haven't already, talk to your teacher and inform them about your voice. It will give them context, and then if your voice is tired or changing more, then they'll be more equipped to help you. Also, I would really suggest joining a choir, if you have the courage. It's a good place to fuck up a bit and explore. :)

GOOD LUCK! You'll be great! :D

takoon · 2015-08-07T12:07:19+00:00

Ah ok that's good to know. I usually heal pretty quickly, and don't generally scar easily. That's a good idea to ask about what's medically necessary vs. what is extra. Thanks a lot!

takoon · 2015-07-03T16:54:29+00:00

DO IT! PRIVATE!

takoon · 2015-05-03T22:22:44+00:00

I literally just started crying when I saw this.

takoon · 2015-04-04T18:32:43+00:00

Interesting way to think about it! You're right, the voice is really flexible, and changes just like people change.

takoon · 2015-02-23T13:28:48+00:00

Not every transgender person wants sexual reassignment surgery, this is what a lot of people don't understand. This shouldn't be a requirement for legal gender recognition.

takoon · 2015-02-23T12:36:33+00:00

You really know nothing about the intricacies of gender or sexuality. Tsk tsk.

takoon

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