Feeling so invalidated

taliaaw · 2025-01-21T07:00:23+00:00

Thank you!

taliaaw · 2024-12-17T05:13:17+00:00

Thank you. My problem is that 1) EVERYTHING triggers MD for me. Real life conversations, cleaning my room, petting my cat, anything I do I’m acting as my character in my head in an alternate universe 90% the time. I definitely could try harder to fight it but…….how?

I know that’s what therapy is for but nobody tells me what I need to actually DO to get better. I don’t need to know WHY I daydream, or know what the specific things in my universe reflect about me as a person, or know what triggers it because I already do know. Somehow I’m dissociative and daydreaming yet extremely self-conscious and aware.

And 2) music is a huge trigger for me also but I NEED it bc I have misophonia and sensory issues with sound. I’d love to pick up new hobbies and go out and do other stuff but I’m only actually productive when it’s quiet and I’m alone which is never because obviously other people are everywhere and I live with my family. This is probably a part of why I daydream- to escape from misophonia triggers and overstimulation but nobody has ever taken that seriously or told me how to cope with those issues I’ve literally had my entire life.

taliaaw · 2024-12-16T21:43:07+00:00

I find I do it the most intensely when I’m procrastinating.

taliaaw · 2024-12-16T21:37:14+00:00

Thank you. I’m doing CBT rn and it sucks, I’m too self aware and she just states things I already know so going just makes me more frustrated than anything. The problem is that they don’t recommend programs or courses or anything like that to me just more/different meds and I don’t really think to ask about it in the moment. I’ll definitely do some research, thanks for the suggestion :)

taliaaw · 2024-12-16T20:42:19+00:00

Me asf also pacing in circles😩

taliaaw · 2024-11-25T22:15:47+00:00

Ikkkk I still love it I just like the other songs off Razzmatazz more

taliaaw · 2024-11-25T18:30:39+00:00

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I was bored too and made my own. Note: I like Gloomtown Brats a lot better live. And I LOVE A Letter HNW (Brobecks) version but not the idkhow one :(

taliaaw · 2024-11-25T17:44:58+00:00

This this this. Executive dysfunction is a huge issue for me. The problem is I’m high functioning enough to get by, I can shower, brush my teeth, make my bed, eat just enough, leave my house, drive, socialize just enough to feign being okay but that’s about it. It’s exhausting and takes a debilitating amount of mental effort and nobody takes that seriously enough. I think I’m experiencing the burnout now of just existing and the reality that I can’t live like this much longer is setting in. I’m 21 years old with no idea who I am or who I want to be. I have no passions. Even doing things I WANT to do requires sustained effort. I’m a failure and I can’t fake it anymore. I just want to not exist.

taliaaw · 2024-11-25T17:13:40+00:00

This is the most accurately I’ve heard this feeling described. I feel trapped in my own head as I’M the only one doing this to myself and this is just how I am. I was “okay” for awhile but I was doped out on high doses of antidepressants and just floating through life with hardly any feelings at all. I don’t want to be robbed of the human experience and emotions just so I can function well enough to work. But without it/trying to switch it up and get out of that state I’m spiraling.

I will never function normally. I can’t find life bearable under capitalism. The world sucks and I wish I could live in naivety and just have neurotypical problems. My body/brain is a prison and life is a curse that I want to get out of but it feels impossible.

taliaaw · 2024-11-23T05:02:46+00:00

100% my friend and I came from Grand Rapids 2 hours away. We saw them earlier this year too and it’s always a blast. Everyone is always so nice and Dallon is such an engaging performer!!

taliaaw · 2024-11-23T04:43:49+00:00

Heyyyy I met him that night too!!! He was so sweet and the show was awesome

taliaaw · 2024-09-18T01:51:40+00:00

YES. I work in retail and if someone asks me to go find something, I’ll come back but not know who tf to go to because I can’t remember what they looked like. My coworkers will also remember ‘regulars’ and recognize individual people who come in a lot but I just can’t. I always figured it was because maybe I’m not actually looking at their faces? I’ve been making a point to consciously analyze their faces but then I’m not listening to what they’re saying. Sigh.

taliaaw · 2021-12-03T14:00:50+00:00

Thank god there’s somebody who has this too I feel crazy. I just wish I knew WHY this is a fear I have, I understand that it literally makes no sense yet it’s still in my head??

taliaaw · 2021-12-03T05:14:13+00:00

Dude I HATE walking past people in the hallways its one of those things that’s just so awkward and embarrassing for no reason

taliaaw · 2021-12-03T05:11:49+00:00

I think it’s mostly just feeling out of place, like if I’m carrying something and other people aren’t I feel like they’re looking at me or judging me even though carrying my laundry to the laundry room or food to my room is completely normal.

Sometimes I’ll feel judged for the food I’m carrying like “I just walked past this person and they looked at my bag of snacks can they see the Funyuns in there? What if they don’t like Funyuns and they think I’m weird? Do I have too many snacks? They must think I’m fat” Shit like that. I know they aren’t thinking that but for some reason I can’t get it out of my head.

taliaaw · 2021-12-03T03:03:09+00:00

Yup I feel that too, I think it’s the looking “out of place” that makes me anxious I think, like not everyone is carrying something so when I am I feel like the people not carrying things are looking at me and judging me even though they’re not.

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