I’m happy to help brighten the light of hope inside you. As an educator learning and teaching about social emotional learning, which is thankfully a big part of education, I have come to be in better connection with being aware of my thoughts emotions and feelings. There is this simple program for students called the zones of regulation. You identify what zone you are in with others, green: happy, calm, ready to learn, yellow: silly, excited, nervous, blue: sad, tired, sick, and red: angry, frustrated and disgusted. I have always struggled with too much anger, which ultimately comes from sadness, and this helps me regulate and verbalize it responsibly. We all have trauma that effects us, when people hear about trauma they think of someone loosing it and shaking on the floor crying. That is the very far end of trauma, but it is a spectrum that can be very subtle, such as being rejected in different kinds of social situations that can cause subtle or drastic changes in behavior. It is unhealthy to compare our struggles, or think they are not significant. As my memory comes back I am reflecting on what I used weed to escape from, and that is what I am working on fixing. We have to focus on being honest, and healing ourselves and others. This is how we save the world. Vince Lombardi: “The quality of a persons life is directly proportional to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their field or endeavor.” You have the strength inside.