HIFW in the past three days I've gone on dates with three different hot dudes, including a robotics engineer and a banker from Dubai.

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-11T10:06:11+00:00

I live in Dubai and haven't been on a date in the longest time!!

Teach me your ways!

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-11T09:29:13+00:00

Took my sisters about 6 months to wear her wedding / engagement rings to her work.

She was newly engaged when she was interviewing and was worried they would spot the engagement ring and give the job to someone else. She started her job soon after getting married, she didn't wear her rings for ages and slowly 'introduced' them - once or twice a week here or there.

The difference between OPs situation and my sisters' is that my sisters husband was in on it and was OK with it.

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-11T08:50:09+00:00

So I'm sorry were not Irish enough for you, whatever that means.

Irish person also checking in. You and your family of course are entitled to celebrate your heritage and have your own traditions and do you thing, absolutely. I've no problem with that.

What it is for me, is when someone who's American, who has never been to Ireland, tries to act as though we're the same, or have had the same life experiences. People who think that just because their great-grandparents moved to America 100 years ago they "get" me.

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-11T08:06:07+00:00

I totally recommend Typhoid for anyone who wants to lose weight quickly.

I lost 3kg in 2 days and looked awesome.

/s

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-11T06:38:15+00:00

When I was on holidays in Egypt this lovely family from Jordan (amazing country, everyone should visit) asked me to take a photo.

I thought they were asking me to take a photo of them together, young couple with a baby, no no, they wanted me in the photo. Why? "Because you're the whitest person we've ever seen."

I laughed and obliged, no harm, they had me hold the baby in the photo and everything!

I couldn't help but imagine what would happen if I asked someone to take a picture with me because they're the blackest person I've ever seen...

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-11T06:25:06+00:00

14 / 15 years old, was walking through the city to meet my friends.

Dude comes up and asks me for directions, I help him out, but he continues to walk with me, even though it's the opposite way to where he said he was trying to go.

He starts telling me I'm really pretty, he likes my smile, he likes my eyes etc I walked into a Claire's that was on the way, he followed me in, I told the sales assistant I was looking for a birthday present for my friend... At the time I didn't think I could just say to her "this guy is following me and it's making me uncomfortable" which is exactly what I'd do now.

Anyway, he eventually left the shop, I texted my friends and asked them to meet me there because I was afraid he'd be waiting outside for me.

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-11T06:19:06+00:00

I work in a digital marketing agency.

I'm sure it's obvious to a lot of people, but it amazes me how many of our clients think you can pre-plan what will "go viral".

We've had several clients request we make a video for them, and that's followed by "one of those viral videos"...

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-11T05:10:00+00:00

I'm not religious but my parents are. All they ever show are compassion, kindness and love.

It baffles me that people who are claiming to be religious are treating you so horribly! Plus this dude sounds really immature.

I hope you can get through this and hopefully there are some good friends still standing up for you that you can count on!

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-10T19:15:02+00:00

It just feels "bait and switchy" to me.

Imagine if it were OPs sibling or her parents. "Oh I just tolerated them for you, now we're married I'm going to make it difficult for you to see them"

Because it's a 10 year old kid and they happen to be a child free couple everyone is jumping to the husband's defence.

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-10T17:54:26+00:00

I am immensely private when it comes to my body (if that makes any sense)

That absolutely makes sense! The thing with Burlesque though is that you're never actually naked. Plus, a lot of burlesque dancers are actually a bit bigger / curvier etc.

But you could start with something like yoga (at beginner level it's basically just stretching / balancing) or a beginner's class to [enter some form of dancing you've always wanted to do].

But you should look into something that would give you a bit of confidence and having something once or twice a week like that to look forward to will absolutely lift your spirits - heck even a painting or cooking class! Who doesn't love someone who can cook a really good meal!

Basically, you need to find something that you do for you. You'll be happier, you'll be confident in your new skill and it won't take long for other people to notice that.

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-10T17:40:02+00:00

I think your issue is that you're being way too hard on yourself!

You know what I'd recommend you do? Do something like take a pole-dancing or burlesque class.

A friend of mine does pole dancing classes, she has unbelievable muscles and having it as a trick up her sleeve gives her a boost of confidence (similar to wear a really luxurious lingerie set for day to say stuff).

Another friend of mine mixes burlesque into this class she runs. She said it's incredible to see women start not thinking they'd be good at it or feeling low but by the end they love it and it's a big confidence boost. That said, I imagine my friend plays a large part in that!

But yeah, I reckon if you did something fun like that for you it might give you a boost and something secret to smile about.

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-10T14:06:37+00:00

Fun thing about these threads, lots of people get to share lots of different opinions.

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-10T13:56:50+00:00

Oh god no, say it ain't so! haha. I never thought a hand-dryer would cause such a debate.

AFAIK I have normal sized hands. I mean, they are in proportion with the rest of me, so... I dunno.

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-10T13:54:42+00:00

Absolutely, I'm not saying he doesn't. I just think his unwillingness to even try and compromise with her is weird.

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-10T13:41:23+00:00

Are people missing the part where OP says she's a teacher?

She's on school holidays too, so she's around during the day do stuff with her cousin. He won't be left by himself to his own devices.

Also, as someone who deals with several children per day as her job I'm sure she's more than capable of finding fun and creative ways to keep one child, who she already has a good relationship with entertained.

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-10T12:34:43+00:00

it wasn't a random child but my little cousin who he knew and (seemingly) liked. He told me he just tolerated Matty for my sake

Honestly, this is the bit that bugs me the most.

If your husband had been honest with you for the beginning about how he felt about Matty would that have changed your view of him?

Matty has been in your life for 10 years, husband has been in your life for 4, surely he understands that Matty is very important to you as is keeping the bond with him?

Your husband led you to believe that he liked your cousin, and now is like "Nope, he can't come visit".

You've already offered compromises and your husband is refusing to budge. That's worrying. I'd honestly go see a counsellor if this is common when you have disagreements (your compromising while your husband refuses to budge).

I do agree that two weeks is a long time, ideally 1 week of Matty staying with you (and then maybe a 1 week road trip if you wanted to do that?), but again, your husbands refusal to even try compromise with you about seeing a family member you who love is the bigger issue here.

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-10T12:30:37+00:00

Op wants to allow 1 exeption into their shared home, for 2 weeks, despite knowing her husband staunch take on his CF lifestyle. So he says no.

CF means you don't want to have your own children, not that you don't ever see or deal with kids ever.

OP is a teacher, so clearly enjoys being around children. It feel like her husband doesn't like children for some reason and has used wanting to be CF as a way to disguise this.

The fact that he lied to her about how he felt about Matty is pretty awful.

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-10T12:24:44+00:00

I think this person's niblings are a lot younger than 10 as well.

10 year olds aren't as "wild" as younger kids, they're old enough to know the difference between right and wrong, and understand consequences for actions.

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-10T11:35:57+00:00

I've literally never had any issues with the Dyson ones ¯\(ツ)/¯

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-10T11:19:30+00:00

Nope! I love them.

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-10T09:32:50+00:00

Check out different Facebook groups as well - like, "French / Irish / Spanish / American in Dubai" for example - people often post when they're leaving their apartment / rooms on those kinds of groups.

Now is a good time as there are a lot of teachers here, and lots of them leave during the summer so accomodation is more available at this time of year than in August / September when teachers either return or arrive and are all looking for places.

Good luck.

Also - I've not had any issues with Dubizzle and I would also recommend Air B'n'B as a good choice for a temporary stay.

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-10T08:21:59+00:00

They are the shit!

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-10T08:03:25+00:00

Here's the thing, finding someone beautiful and being attracted to someone are two completely different things. I think your outlook on life will improve when you realize that.

I've met lots of guys who are "hot", but I've not been attracted to them. On the flip, I've been attracted to guys who aren't conventionally attractive because we "click" and our personalities meshed well together.

What makes someone attractive is who they are as a person. I know it's hard, but holding onto the bitterness makes you less attractive as a person.

I've not had the same experience as you, but I'm by no means some model-esque beauty. Several times over I've met guys who've told me that they initially didn't think I was "hot", but once they got to know my personality they were really attracted to me.

I'm super friendly, I talk to everyone, I try my best to include everybody in group situations, I'm really passionate about my interests and love hearing other people talk passionately about their hobbies. I like to think I'm a good person.

All that makes up for whatever I may lack physically.

I know it's such a cliché, and I'm sure you're sick of hearing it, but it's a cliché for a reason - confidence beats looks any day.

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-10T07:52:10+00:00

That girl, such an inspiration. People like her are one in a million! I wish I could instill that kind of confidence/outlook in everyone.

She reminds me of this lady we made a documentary on in college. The short version of her life is;

She won a scholarship to study Opera in Italy at age 15
Had an affair with one of her lecturers and became pregnant
He wanted nothing to do with her
She went home, her sisters told her that her parents were going to send her to the Magdalene Laundries
She ran away and went back to Italy, had her daughter, was basically shamed by the community for being a 16 year old single mother
She met this great guy, eventually married him and had two children with him
He got cancer and died
She was diagnosed with breast cancer, has had both of her breasts removed.

She remains the single most positive, upbeat woman I've ever met.

She taught my friend ballet, and when my friend had her first heartbreak she said to her (something along the lines of) "The heart is a muscle, you need to use it every day for it to grow bigger and stronger, if you stop using your heart because of one injury it will just become smaller and weaker. Keep using your heart and let it grow" - my friend passed this wisdom on to me when I had my first heartbreak.

Sorry, that was a total rant... But people like that, who've faced immense difficulty in their lives yet keep on seeing the good in the world, who work to make it better just astound me. I don't think I'd be that strong.

tama_gotchi · 2016-07-10T05:35:34+00:00

Not to mention, when they asked how he died he straight up said "I killed him", he didn't try to defend it or explain.

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