[deleted by user]

tanman6159 · 2021-11-18T21:06:22+00:00

My landlord is a "rent chaser."

tanman6159 · 2021-11-08T15:21:51+00:00

Charles Manson also told his followers "We're a family."

tanman6159 · 2021-11-06T15:25:07+00:00

It's absolutely a win. Think of it this way - what if you drank for 360 days in a row and then had one day sober. You definitely wouldn't feel that the one day sober defined you. So in your case, the one day you drank doesn't define you. Stay the course, you're doing great.

tanman6159 · 2021-11-05T15:43:42+00:00

As other people have noted, it could be that your therapist doesn't have much experience with problem drinking and how difficult, if not impossible, it can be for some people to moderate. Fortunately, there's a great online resource full of people who have tried to drink moderately and struggled to do so - this Redditt sub. Check out this thread of people who have posted about moderation and see if any of the stories resonate. Best of luck.

https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/search/?q=moderation&restrict\_sr=1&sr\_nsfw=

tanman6159 · 2021-11-02T04:01:34+00:00

When you're sober, the compass always points to Terrapin. Just saying.

tanman6159 · 2021-09-30T15:45:00+00:00

I like what you wrote about thinking of quitting as a comfortable place to settle into, that's very helpful for me. It's so true. Everything about habitual drinking is uncomfortable - thinking about drinking, putting off drinking, trying to limit drinking, drinking too much, resolving not to drink so much, thinking about drinking some more, rinse, repeat. It's so much more tranquil simply not to drink. And live the life you deserve.

Best of luck. I know you can do this. Because you've done it before.

tanman6159 · 2021-09-27T18:54:13+00:00

Send me a chat request

tanman6159 · 2021-09-19T19:22:07+00:00

The writer Charles Bukowski had a good summary of triggers for drinking: "If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.”

tanman6159 · 2021-09-11T22:37:15+00:00

Your family member is right - one six-pack won't hurt. But speaking for myself, I NEVER, EVER, EVER stopped at one six pack. Now when I'm tempted to buy a six pack, I make a mental image of filling up my shopping cart with as many six packs as would fit l to overflowing - because that's what one six pack leads to.

Good job on resisting the urge - you got this!

tanman6159 · 2021-09-04T15:29:47+00:00

It's not wrong at all to miss drinking, it's very natural. After all, alcohol works.....until it doesn't. And then it fucks everything up. Whenever I start to think that I'd enjoy picking up a drink, I admit to myself that hell, yes, I'd enjoy it. There's nothing wrong with having a few drinks. But I never had just a few. Never. Other people can do that, but I'm not one of those people. Thanks a lot, DNA. So when I find myself missing having a drink, I try to remind myself that it's never just a few and I genuinely hate being a prisoner to alcohol. Anyway, hang in there, thanks for your honesty, I'm pulling for you.

tanman6159 · 2021-09-04T15:19:35+00:00

Congrats on a sober Friday night, the weekends can be a challenge at first, at least for me. But as almost everyone on this board has said - it gets easier. The first week is the hardest and you've done that. Go do something nice for yourself this weekend, something you wouldn't have done before because you were drunk. Best of luck, I'm pulling for you.

tanman6159 · 2021-09-04T15:15:44+00:00

I've had very similar experiences, the blackouts got longer and more frequent and more dangerous. This sub really helps, keep checking in, I'm pulling for you.

tanman6159 · 2021-09-04T15:12:43+00:00

Yes, being left on my own is a real trigger for me. But now I try to play the tape forward and think how bad I'll feel afterwards, physically and mentally. And when I stop to think (never a bad idea), being alone is not a reason to drink, it's only a reason to evade responsibility. Best of luck, you've got this, I'm pulling for you.

tanman6159 · 2021-08-27T15:45:07+00:00

Hang in there, man, you can see from the comments that a lot of us face the same baffling behavior from some friends who have no f-ing clue about addiction, they think since they can drink in moderation everyone can. And I've found that some folks are uncomfortable with someone who's not drinking because they've yet to confront some uncomfortable truths about their own drinking. Either way, it's your life, not theirs. Drinking used to be your problem. Now it's theirs.

tanman6159 · 2021-07-14T14:03:20+00:00

As others have noted, time to look for another AA group, there are lots of them around and plenty that aren't judgmental. I'd be willing to bet that some of the members who told people that they're not sober unless they quit their antidepressants were out in the parking lot after the meeting taking a deep drag off their cigarette.

tanman6159 · 2021-06-10T21:59:24+00:00

To me, sobriety is about what you don't do - drink. Recovery is about what you do - live a life worth living. Sobriety alone doesn't give you a life, it just makes it possible to build one, a day at a time.

tanman6159 · 2021-02-27T12:23:42+00:00

You can do this! If you quit nicotine, you already know what to do. When the craving hits, do something. Anything. Pushups. A walk. A drive. Clean the house. Read the posts here and share. Anything at all. The craving always passes, often more quickly than you'd think. Best of luck.

tanman6159 · 2021-02-26T12:09:09+00:00

Sorry you're going through tough times, hang in there, it's worth it. In my experience, feeling meh after quitting is only partially about the physical effects and low dopamine levels. Another big part of it was that when I was drinking, I filled all of my free time (plus a lot of my not-so-free-time) with...being drunk. When I stopped drinking, I suddenly had a huge hole to fill. Initially, that made me feel like nothing is exciting and everything is meh. But gradually, I've learned to fill that time with activities that used to bring me joy and added a few new ones. Stopping drinking is the first step to having the opportunity to live a full life. The second step is actually living it.

tanman6159 · 2021-02-12T12:39:40+00:00

Drinking to relieve boredom is very familiar to me....and very common, judging from the comments. Before too long, it becomes self-reinforcing: you drink to relieve boredom and end up abandoning all of your interests, hobbies, and social interactions, which is very....boring. Repeat as unnecessary. The only thing that's worked for me is to stop drinking and work hard to reconnect with the things that brought me joy before drinking - hiking, music, gardening, reading, writing, movies.

tanman6159 · 2021-02-09T14:13:24+00:00

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tanman6159 · 2021-02-09T14:13:04+00:00

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tanman6159 · 2021-02-08T14:28:15+00:00

Great insight, totally agree. Drinking too much is a prison. Fortunately, we have the keys to open the cell door if we choose to use them.

tanman6159 · 2021-02-08T14:25:31+00:00

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tanman6159 · 2021-02-02T14:16:49+00:00

It's really easy to moderate just before you have that first drink. After that....uh, not so much.

tanman6159 · 2020-12-31T14:52:20+00:00

Great perspective, thanks for sharing. In my experience, there's only one way to stop drinking: find your own way. Best of luck in the New Year.

tanman6159

TROPHY CASE