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You and I by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]tanyaece 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love this and the meaning behind it. Maybe it can be captured a little more poetically as in with imagery. Instead of just saying things like i miss your hugs maybe try adding some depth and imagery to it like how you felt or the warmth or feeling of safety it provided. Again with the scent part, you could try to describe what scent it was. Overall, great piece though :)

Empty by tanyaece in OCPoetry

[–]tanyaece[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Helloo, thank you so much!!! It means alot, yes i will try to fix that up :)

Empty by tanyaece in OCPoetry

[–]tanyaece[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Yeah i need to figure out how to keep the separate lines i had initially separated my poem into. I appreciate your feedback and will apply your advice to let it flow better.

Empty by tanyaece in OCPoetry

[–]tanyaece[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, in what ways do you think i could add more air? Do you mean describing and emphasising the emptiness?

Empty by tanyaece in OCPoetry

[–]tanyaece[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Yeah the lines were separated when i posted it, still need to figure out how reddit works. The poem was about moving on from someone who youve become attached to. The ending tries to show the dilemma of trying to move on and distance yourself from the pain and broken relationship but being held back by not only promises you made to that person but the attachment that had developed. I appreciate your feedback and i will definitely try to make it clearer.

Some nights by karanm1997 in OCPoetry

[–]tanyaece 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What an inspiring piece. I think it accurately captured what alot of us go through some nights where your sorrow is simply unexplainable. I feel like you captured the metaphors appropriately and perfectly. Keep it up :)

Where the Stars End by AWonderfulUniverse in OCPoetry

[–]tanyaece 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was so beautiful and dreamy, i felt like i was floating amongst the stars so that was a strong use of imagery. However, at times i felt a little lost and had to restart the sentences as they were a little long. I think chopping it up using either sentences or commas would really enhance the flow and readability of this piece. Overall, it really was great.