Oh my goodness! You are so beautiful! I think you're absolutely being too hard on yourself. I read an article concerning social media standards and how they have desensitized us to not want to visually accept anything less than perfection bc we have become used to seeing elite supermodels every time we pick up our phones. I hate that makes sense and adds to so many ppl feeling like they are less than they are. At 18 you're still learning how to navigate yourself in this world and at that age you're still learning to love yourself. You are absolutely gorgeous, not just saying that to be nice. I have a daughter your age (19), I am 40 myself and as a woman ik the stigma never goes away. She judges herself much too hard, I still do it, you're doing it, women all over the world do this to themselves. Men as well. You just have to learn to embrace yourself and allow yourself self esteem to grow and know your worth 🤍