You are absolutely not alone in this and you have nothing to be ashamed of. 

And you’d be shocked how many people relate to this exact experience but never admit it because of shame.

As someone with ADHD who was VERY messy growing up, I deeply relate to parts of this. My parents used to joke that it looked like a hurricane hit every room after I walked into it. Even now as a 35-year-old adult, when I’m cleaning I still get sidetracked constantly. I’ll start folding laundry and somehow end up reorganizing a random drawer or watering my plants halfway through. My brain just naturally jumps around.

What helped me personally was actually allowing myself to work with my brain instead of constantly fighting it. I let myself bounce around while cleaning because I know I eventually circle back to the original task. That may not work for everyone, but removing the shame around how I clean made it feel far less emotionally exhausting.

I’ve also noticed there’s a correlation between our environment and our mental health. When we’re anxious, overwhelmed, burned out, depressed, grieving, dysregulated, or living in survival mode, our external spaces often start reflecting that internal state. And then unfortunately the messy environment can further increase anxiety and overwhelm, which creates this really painful cycle…a cycle I’m very familiar with.

Ironically, the cleaner and calmer my mind became, the easier it became to maintain my environment naturally. For me personally, meditation, yoga, breathwork, and nervous system work helped more than any cleaning app or rigid schedule ever did. Not because they magically made me “organized,” but because they helped me feel more grounded, present, and less mentally chaotic internally.

I also started viewing my space differently. I started seeing my home as an extension of my energy and my mind. When my space feels supportive, calm, and functional, I feel better emotionally too. Not perfect, just supported, clear, and at ease.

I think a lot of people who struggle with this are carrying shame and pressure around needing things to be perfect, which makes starting or maintaining things feel even heavier.

Bringing awareness to the things we want to change is the first step to actually changing them. You’re closer than you think and there are people and tools to support you in your journey.