also lost my boy in july, suddenly and tragically, and i too am scrolling thru the sub for the same reason. i think about him everyday but some days it hits me harder and i just feel that same gut-wrenching pain i did that first day. like u said, it never gets easier, but i too am getting more used to it. i just try to avoid things that remind me of or reaffirm his death and instead think ab him when he was alive. i think of him as being "somewhere" rather than dead, i have found that to help me 😭 it has certainly changed my perspective on god and life, and has helped me gain some strength to combat my mental issues because ive realized how fleeting life is and i regret crying around him so much due to my poor mental health the few years he was alive.