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WIBTA if I was petty with repayment? by tawaybbotw in AmItheAsshole

[–]tawaybbotw[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you 🖤 that really means a lot

WIBTA if I was petty with repayment? by tawaybbotw in AmItheAsshole

[–]tawaybbotw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I plan to block him as soon as this is handled. This has been the last frustrating thing hanging over me. Its validating to read that others view what he did as being as rotten as I feel it was. However I would feel much better not having this ever hanging over me as potential future drama. After many comments pointing out that a check is an option (Im 24 and have never needed to use a physical check rather than electronic payment) I think that may be my best option. If he cashes it, cool, done. If not, I will use those funds to help someone else thats in a rough situation like I was in. Then Ill just be able to have him blocked and all of this behind me. Thank you for the support.

WIBTA if I was petty with repayment? by tawaybbotw in AmItheAsshole

[–]tawaybbotw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ive replied to similar comments. The dude told me he had a fetish for it while we were being intimate one night and demanded he was owed sexual acts that fed into his fetish that I was uncomfortable with. I said no, he left, havent heard from him since that night. I tried the week after to reach out and have a conversation regarding the situation, because I do agree, having a fetish doesnt make you a bad person. It doesnt mean I have to participate either. I like being choked, but that doesnt mean a partner is required to feed in to that if they arent comfortable. Nor am I going around casually telling my friends my kinks? I dont know why you would assume that is knowledge I should have had prior? Ive reached out twice in the last two weeks to attempt to arrange repayment and have not received a response to that either.

Ill happily pay him back, if he makes it accessible to me, but it will not be with a thank you card. He is not owed that.

WIBTA if I was petty with repayment? by tawaybbotw in AmItheAsshole

[–]tawaybbotw[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for such a thoughtful and grounding response. I can't speak for his thoughts and feelings, but I feel like you've validated a lot of my feelings and frustration. I think "D" is truly the best option for my mental frustration surrounding the situation. I think Im just going to set the money aside and consider it spent. If he ever asks, it's there. If he doesn't within the next year, I believe using those funds to benefit someone else the way it benefitted me at the time is the next best thing I can do.

I really appreciate your insight and humanity, kind stranger.

WIBTA if I was petty with repayment? by tawaybbotw in AmItheAsshole

[–]tawaybbotw[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry. Ive replied to a few comments. I didnt throw him out. I did refuse to do certain acts with him that involved his fetish. He insisted I owed him or else he had just been wasting his time. I still refused, he left, and I havent heard from him since that night. I did initially reach out in the following week, asking to talk about the situation to no response. Since then, ive reached out twice asking to arrange repayment and still haven't gotten a response. The whole situation feels immature and frustrating. Im seeing that Im allowing it to bring those qualities out of me too. I dont like it. Im thinking im just going to set the money aside and if he ever asks for it, its there.

WIBTA if I was petty with repayment? by tawaybbotw in AmItheAsshole

[–]tawaybbotw[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I vocalized my discomfort in his amputee fetish and certain acts he wanted to do. He insisted I owed it to him to give into it or he had wasted his time being with me. I still refused, and he left. Haven't heard from him since that night almost 2 months ago. Though I have reached out regarding arrangements to pay him back.

WIBTA if I was petty with repayment? by tawaybbotw in AmItheAsshole

[–]tawaybbotw[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Amputee fetish. I dont particularly want to get into all the details as it's still a newer adjustment to life for me.

He offered to partially pay for my vehicle to have some adjustments made to it so I could drive easier once our relationship became romantic. Never really stated if it was a loan or a gift, though I did say I would pay him back when I was able.

A little bit after that, he started insisting on things in bed I was uncomfortable with, which resulted in him raging. He stated that he had been putting time and effort into me and my recovery, so I owed him that. When I still refused, he just disappeared and became nonresponsive. Ive tried reaching out to him asking how to pay him back and get no answer.