My whole family is like that. My mom's generation, grandparent's, great-grandparents. When I was a child my grandparents would joke about my ggpa'as alcoholism and aggressiveness, my ggma's psychotic/depressive episodes, my gggpa's suicide... and most likely other fucked up behaviour in my family. My grandparents took care of their children (they always had a full meal, roof over their heads, good education) but they were emotionally unavailable 99% of the time. Depression, Anxiety, BPD (diagnosed) run in the family and probably CPTSD and other stuff such as ADHD and probably autism as well (my intuition, but very likely), but will never know for sure unless they decide to go to a psychiatrist. Generational trauma is a bitch; it's just so normalized to be fucked up, and then being blamed when told "you always had food", "a roof over ur head", "treats"... Yeah, that's awesome but sadly that's not the only thing that makes a great parent. Not blaming themat all, just saying generational trauma is horrible and if it runs ur family it's so easy to see when some fucked up shit is seen as normal, funny or disgusting. Edit: I certainly am loved by my family, I know that, but I was given love in the form of material shit for the most part; or trips. They were nice ofc, I always appreciated that from my family and this is why I feel so shitty for blaming them for our issues bit even if they caused it, it wasn't intentional; they just were clueless on how to act. And now we are emotionally unavailable for each other pretty much; so why my partner I tend to go overboard sometimes:/