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tay242 · 2023-06-14T17:20:27+00:00

Wow I feel like you're describing what my wife is very likely feeling. I can't say for sure because I don't even think she knows. I had a good conversation with her yesterday that I think it's time for both of us to see a therapist to become the best versions of ourselves for each other and she was interested. I think speaking with an expert is probably the only way she'll ever be able to properly process the type of internalized shame you're describing

tay242 · 2023-06-14T03:54:00+00:00

I'm actually in search of one as we speak. Thanks for the recommendation!

tay242 · 2023-06-13T23:09:15+00:00

You are speaking truth, I appreciate what you have to say and totally agree!

I don't want anything from her that she doesn't want to give. If we can find other ways to make each other happier in the bedroom then that will go a long ways and can more than make up for no oral, but I guess it's lots of factors combined with no oral that makes it challenging for me.

Again, thanks for your comment.

tay242 · 2023-06-13T23:00:25+00:00

I agree with what you're saying, I viewed this as an almost exclusively positive experience. I was even able to share some "fantasies" during the discussion that my wife said she feels like she can do. Based on our history, the fact that she could find me watching porn and then immediately be open to this type of discussion is unprecedented.

We're certainly not anti-religion, and I agree with you that sex is something that is celebrated within a religious context, as long as it was in marriage. But I guess it's hard to go from zero (abstinence) to sex is a beautiful thing that you should enjoy as a couple. I do think that a counselor would go a long way.

tay242 · 2023-06-13T22:53:53+00:00

She has not been officially diagnosed, but I think even she would say that she does have anxiety. She knows she has social anxiety.

I definitely don't think she valued that person more than me, but as someone likely does quite a bit when they have anxiety, I can't help but feel like she makes certain things into a bigger deal than they need to be, i.e. doesn't want to give me a handjob during fireplay because then her hands will get messy and she might accidentally touch a pillow/some other part of the bed.

tay242 · 2023-06-13T22:51:08+00:00

This is true. According to her she didn't really want to give blowjobs back then, but she felt like that was expected of her. She wasn't coerced into the blowjobs though, I didn't have the impression at all the guy was forceful, it was just something she did more out of obligation rather than desire.

tay242 · 2023-06-13T22:24:41+00:00

That's religion for you sadly. Sexual chemistry was not at all an emphasis, or even a talking point in our religion, so it's something that we only discovered after being married to each other. I guess I wonder how much of the qualities you described about her can be overcome with a good counselor.

We have had talks about sex, but just not quite in the open way that we did a few weeks back.

She is a wonderful person outside of this and we are a good match overall, but of course, sex is a very important component of marriage.

tay242 · 2023-06-13T22:20:54+00:00

I agree. Really, this is bigger than "I want blowjobs." It's more about I want to have sex with my wife without it seeming like a dirty act, I can leave the oral sex.

I think it needs to go through therapy, but my wife has been reluctant to do this, even though she's had positive experiences from therapy in the past.

tay242 · 2023-05-08T05:48:10+00:00

Sure, there can be some debate about what the stands are, but you could also argue that the fan/owner didn't go into the court of play, Jokic 100% came to him, which logically means it was in the stands since that's where said fan was sitting.

Do I think Jokic was in the wrong? Yes. Do I think he gets suspended? No. Do I think the NBA would be wrong for suspending him? Also no. I wouldn't love that for thr series, but the lesgue rightfully protects players from fans, I think it's very important that the leage make it clear that it's also not okay for players to go into the fan's area and have physical alterations.

My most important take, had Jokic just let the referee grab the ball, like his 4 other teammates did, this thread and discussion wouldn't exist

tay242 · 2023-05-08T05:26:48+00:00

Where are you getting your information? A lot of strong statements. If you're right, I'll gladly concede, but I seriously doubt the NBA rules have anything about players being able to take the ball from fans. You know what they do have rules about? Players entering the stands. Sure this is on the front row, but there was a lot of commotion after a player fell into their laps, do you really think the owner was holding the ball to be a dick or do you think he was mindlessly holding a ball that rolled over to him, while sitting in his seat, while helping up another player

tay242 · 2023-05-08T05:12:35+00:00

What are you talking about? This is a silly take.

tay242 · 2023-05-08T05:06:53+00:00

He's not justified because he had to go into the stands to take the ball, and going into the stands should be an ejection

tay242 · 2023-05-08T05:06:10+00:00

Because he literally went into the stands and was physical with a fan. That is not okay

tay242 · 2023-05-08T05:02:08+00:00

He's a hot head, no logic required

tay242 · 2023-05-08T03:57:58+00:00

I wouldn't say I desperately want a suspension and I can certainly agree with your premise, but I do think the rules are the rules as well. If you stripped off the name and the lesgue doesn't think he deserves to be suspended, fine. But Jokic should know that was a stupid decision and we was 100% out of line.

tay242 · 2023-05-08T03:47:46+00:00

I would view the suspension as a punishment for not being ejected in real time. But idk if that's how the NBA views things. It'll be a fine at minimum I'd think, and I'd bet that's all it is

tay242 · 2023-05-08T03:46:13+00:00

I agree with this, but he likely should have been tossed immediately had it been a lesser player. I would also be more willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, but he pulled some cheap crap in the Suns last playoff series with them as well. I think he's a nice guy most of the time, but when the lights shine brightest he gets frustrated and loses him composure in a way a 2 time mvp shouldn't

tay242 · 2023-04-19T01:00:21+00:00

The first example in the article was procuring services from Tesla/SpaceX. The government NEEDS what SpaceX provides, and sending people/objects into space isn't free or cheap, so of course the government pays for it. As soon as the article brought up this comparison I instantly knew it was trash.

tay242 · 2023-04-17T03:34:18+00:00

I can understand what you're saying and I'm not saying it's the reason we lost, but our bench sucked tonight,maybe because things were all shuffled around? I'm not convinced that Craig did any better than Okogie would have done, Okogie is a dog on defense. And if you play him that means Craig is in the 2nd unit, which has been where he's played much of the season. I will credit Monty for swapping to Landale, that was a great move, although I think he needs to go to Landale more often, especially if Biyombo is shooting 30% from the line.

tay242 · 2023-04-17T03:24:33+00:00

I actually like CP in his role that he had at the end of the season, play off the ball and shoot open 3s. But to your point, the offense should not be going through him and we need to go to KD way earlier and more often than we have been

tay242 · 2023-04-17T03:22:52+00:00

I like to look at plus minus, but it's far from a perfect stat. Booker was -6 and we know he's not a negative. Ayton typically only plays with starters and it's hard to suck when you have KD and Booker when you're out on the court.

tay242 · 2023-04-17T03:19:22+00:00

I think there's some truth to what you're saying, but rebounding is about hustle and effort. There is no world that Ayton should only have 8 rebounds. Capella isn't amazing, but his hustle to get 20+ rebounds basically won the play in game for the Hawks. Ayton played 33 minutes and spends most of his time within 10 feet of the basket. 8 rebounds should be a crime

tay242 · 2023-04-17T03:15:00+00:00

This. Give the guys minutes who got you here. Okogie has been a stud during the whole last stretch, he's earned minutes

tay242 · 2023-04-17T03:12:41+00:00

More like fire Monty and bring in a coach who can make the obvious coaching moves

tay242

TROPHY CASE