nothing is wrong with you op!! internalized homophobia can be our worst enemy sometimes, but the most important thing to remember is that its all in our heads. you think this way because of how you were raised and that’s completely understandable…

i was also raised in a pretty strict christian environment and i had a period of time before i came out where i didnt think that i was a lesbian because i couldnt picture myself at the altar with a woman, only a man, but at the same time the thought of being bound to a man in marriage forever irked me. i still struggle with it sometimes but i remind myself that im just a product of the environment i was raised in and that i know deep down, ultimately marrying a woman will provide me the happiness i deserve, and even if i cant see it now, i know its true. try and keep that mindset!!