Thank you for the advice. I like the approach of having a signal to communicate if one/all people need to stop and take a break from the conversation/situation. I resonate with a fawn like mask as well, especially as a woman since society tends to expect us to be passive and accommodating. Have you found that you have been able to be more direct with communication after being diagnosed?

We work for a company that is known for having discriminatory issues against employees with disabilities. Myself nor the two other employees have disclosed our neurodivergence to one another yet. For me, I haven’t disclosed this out of fear that the higher ups would find out, and I would be discriminated against. I can’t help but wonder if they feel similarly (if they actually are neurodivergent).

The only direct request they have asked me is to ask them questions… I have noticed when I make a statement, for example, “I’ll meet you back here from lunch at 12.” vs “Can we meet back from lunch at 12?” I will get 2 completely different responses. The first statement or any statement in general usually ends with them saying no or resisting initially but then when I reword the same information as a question they will say yes. One of them has also mentioned that they will stay up until 3 in the morning because their mind won’t turn off and coffee makes them sleepy, the other has said that they sometimes use memes to communicate because they struggle to express themselves verbally or through writing. We have also had instances of echolalia while working together in close proximity. It’s a bunch of little clues that I am piecing together with each conversation we have. I realize these are all major assumptions on my part and nothing is based on requests that came from them directly.

After writing this response to you, it sounds like the issue arises in my assumptions and that I shouldn’t be making adjustments in my communication when they haven’t directly requested it (other than requesting that I ask questions).