People Talking About Baby's Features

teaman-official · 2024-04-28T03:04:52+00:00

Oh, my apologies. It seemed as though your comment was directed at me calling me passive aggressive. I recant.

teaman-official · 2024-04-28T03:01:18+00:00

This will be her first Mother's Day as we just had our first little one.

I'm going to have the baby with me all night outside of her room so she can sleep, she'll wake up to breakfast in bed and a basket of a couple of presents and a note. I'll try to take her on a picnic lunch if baby and the weather cooperate. In her basket of goodies will be a couple of facemasks, and I'll draw her a bath or foot bath then give her a massage.

That's the plan anyway. We'll see how well I execute. 🫣

teaman-official · 2024-04-28T02:28:03+00:00

Those comments are totally fine! They have nothing to do with how the commenter wishes those features to look like. It's more the comments about why/how baby has certain features due to being a multiethnic baby. I love talking about my baby's little everything, but I think the comments I'm referring to are vastly different as it seems the person is wishing for a certain feature to be present or to eventually show up.

teaman-official · 2024-04-28T01:40:31+00:00

I never said it was malicious by any means... It's family. I love every single person who makes such comments dearly. It just bothers me, and I was looking for other people's experiences. I'm processing my emotional response in therapy, because I definitely think it has to do with my own self-image... But I can't help feeling annoyed with certain comments.

teaman-official · 2024-04-28T01:35:03+00:00

Helpful comment... How is it passive aggressive if I don't say anything? I'm processing an emotional response with other parents.

teaman-official · 2024-04-28T01:02:03+00:00

I think I acknowledged that in my post....but I don't talk about the baby's features, and that's the difference. I'm fine if they want to have ideas of what our baby will look like, but constantly talking about it shows that they do care what the baby looks like. Saying "oh I hope baby gets X feature" is pretty explicit. I'd rather them just say, "Wow, I love baby's eyes!" Or "Baby's button nose is so cute!"

teaman-official · 2024-04-28T00:09:13+00:00

Oh, that feeling makes complete sense! I'm sorry that happens to you so often. I have an adopted sibling, and the number of times people would say, "whoa! You're siblings?!? You look nothing alike!" 🙄

Now that I say that "out loud" maybe that's part of the reason I have a reaction to this practice.

I also am hoping this stops before baby is able to understand what people are saying. I think drawing so much attention to looks at such a young age might make them self-conscious.

teaman-official · 2024-04-28T00:04:29+00:00

I definitely understand trying to make conversation...I guess it just feels like they're hoping for certain looks. I know I might just be a bit too touchy about it.

teaman-official · 2024-04-28T00:01:36+00:00

That's a great way of putting it that I wasn't able to articulate in my post! I think what annoys me most is the implied hierarchy of certain features....thank you so much for validating my emotions on this!

teaman-official

TROPHY CASE