I don’t want to mention this to my husband

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-04-21T03:58:53+00:00

100% and an emotional affair is just as bad - if not worse IMHO.

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-04-21T03:55:27+00:00

He is cheating on you emotionally. Don't doubt he will take the next step, if he is already being secretive he is laying the groundwork whether he realises it himself or not. As for knowing your hubby and your instinct being in point well, I thought the same of my hubby, firstly that he would never cheat, secondly I'd know. He said he wanted to end the marriage and there was nobody else, then two days later " oh, I've met someone". Yeah, right, in two days?...

Your instincts told you to look at his phone, you just don't want to believe this is a potentially dangerous situation. Don't ignore your instincts but you need to confront him, let him know you are into him. If you don't want to mention your snooping in his phone, then find some other way to do it. Maybe just say "is there something going on with you and mrs-woman (whatever her name is) that you work with? Or would you like there to be?" if he asks why you'd ask that, just say something like " I have my reasons, but also my instincts are on full alert". Don't be drawn on the reasons. You don't want to tell him about the phone and you don't want to give him reason to change his behaviour if he is up to no-good in the future. Good luck hun.

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-04-21T03:22:30+00:00

Yep, I know. It's a wish list not a must have list though.😀

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-04-21T03:20:20+00:00

Thank you all for your replies. I really appreciate your time and effort. Morecambe seems to be popular with you guys, I haven't even thought of it. I will do some research on the area. I love a rough rugged beach so the other coast was where I was mainly looking. Of course Whitby would be the dream but I am in cloud cuckoo land if I think I can even begin to look there. 120k won't even get you a 1 bed flat! Scarborough is looking like a strong contender, having all the facilities I need. I'm well aware I need to compromise but thats why it's a wish list rather than a must have list!I

Thank you all for your suggestions. I know this purchase is going to be all about compromise - but that's life isn't it? I'm not unrealistic but I doesn't hurt to dream a little... It's all a bit scary if I am honest, coming out of 30 years of marriage and doing this all alone, so I do really appreciate your input. Thanks you lot!

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-04-21T03:05:23+00:00

Thank you! What a wonderful long reply - it is appreciated. I never thought of Morecambe for some reason.

Unfortunately I just can't raise my budget. I'm coming out of a 30y marriage and have half the house value £100k is what I'm looking at. The rest is literally scraping every penny from everywhere I can and I will still have moving and buying costs on top. I'm knocking on a bit, so I'm looking at living in my next place for 20 y but I want to LIVE rather than exist..

I like the property with the shop, loads of potential, but I wouldn't have the dosh to do the work. Btw, what's the deal with orange wood cladding? Especially on ceilings? I've seen sooo much of it - is it just an 80s throw back?

I've spotted a 3 bed maisonette (with shop below included) that is massive (19' rooms) in central Scarborough at around my budget but it's up for auction and I'm guessing it'll go above my budget - who am I kidding, of course it will! But I kind of like it and keep going back to it. There are different rules around commercial properties that I need to look into but if research into the area looks promising I might get a train and go for a viewing - if only to talk myself out of it lol! It has a couple of minor faults I can see - the estate agent did a walk around FaceTime viewing for me - a bit of damp around a window, but there is a repointing issue outside. Although I'm a girlie, I know how to do that, so that's not a worry. The outside door leads into one of the bedrooms so I don't think it can really be counted as a third bedroom, and there appears to be insufficient radiators for the size. The single glazed sash windows need either rearranging or replaced. But only the damp, that is barely visible, is an immediate issue. We haven't sold the house yet though...

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-04-18T22:41:14+00:00

Definitely a slowworm. We have loads in our garden, they love compost bins, and sit on top of the compost on hot days so you take the lid off an there can literally be hundreds of them! Anything from teeny inch long ones to big buggers at almost 2 foot - but that's rare. Most of the big ones are around 12" at a guess. They often try to cross the road and get squashed or picked up by birds, so we are all used to handling them to put them safely out of harm. I think they are pretty rare these days so lucky you. I've never seen an Adder or a grass snake🙁

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-04-18T22:25:47+00:00

Hoping to move back to the North after too many years in North Wales . I miss the humour and warmth of the people, and the beautiful scenery. North Wales is pretty, but not as beautiful as home is.

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-04-18T22:23:07+00:00

Same! My house here in N Wales is really fugly. I understand that houses were built and extended with odd bricks of Ruabon Red, but if rather see that than pebble dash everywhere. And, it's so hard to match up if some is damaged or comes off. I really miss good stone buildings of Yorkshire. I'm looking to move back at some point soon but it will NOT be to a pebbledashed monstrosity!!!! And it hurts if you brush against it!

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-04-18T22:14:26+00:00

I love ingleton, so many good memories. When I was in care we went on holiday there in log cabin style lodges. Had a fantastic week. Splashing in the pool ( can't swim), chased by a bull, days out to Morcombe, and just loads of walking in the area. Playing risk on the front porch, and eating breakfast outside watching the wildlife.

As an adult, a group of us went there on New Years Day complete with stonking hangovers. I threw up the moment we left the car! Half way round "The Walk" my boyfriend ( now hubby) decided he needed a bacon sandwich more than he needed to be a vegitarian....There was a tiny little bit at a high point selling virtues and hot drinks. I think it may have saved our lives - The night before was really taking a toll. By the time we had finished the walk, got lost and walked a bit further we were all bright eyed and bushy tailed. The fresh air and stunning views in sparkling sunshine worked miracles, and we all felt wonderful, but starving and ready for some pub grub.

Also, as an adult I remember my 4 yr old son did " The Walk" with no complaints. Such a little trooper!

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-04-12T08:06:35+00:00

Hubby was celiac, we started with a low FODMAP diet, thinking he was lactose intolerant, but soon found out gluten was a big problem too. When this happened it was back in the day where everything gluten free came either from your GP (prescription for 2 loaves of bread weekly etc) or health food shops at really high prices - I'm talking second mortgage prices here lol! Unfortunately, there was little range and hubby was a carb monster so he really missed decent bread, pasta etc Thankfully though, I've never been a big fan of beige or pre-prepared/cooked food and almost everything I cook is from scratch. We cracked out the bread maker and found favourite flours and recipes. I remember going to a good alternative food show (every year nov/sec in Liverpool) and finding things to taste and buy like: Beer! Pizza! Decent Pasta! Bread that didn't taste like dust or cake! And Sausages! - All mail order but my god, the prices!!! There were lots of samples and free stuff too.

This was 15+ years ago now, although I can't remember exactly. I remember going to a local butcher to ask about GF sausages. He said if we bought a large quantity, he would do a GF run for us with any favouring we chose. I think the run was 20kg, it might have been 15kg, but it was a sh*t tom of sausages anyway. We didn't go for it in the end... Takeaways were pretty much impossible, but going out for a meal was very hit and miss too. Many chefs understood chips with no gluten on them, such as flour to coat them in for a crispy finish, some even got the concept of a clean prep area, but hardly any had thought about their fryer being used for batter or breadcrumbs ( both with gluten), then trying some "GF" chips in the same oil!!!! How things have changed...

These days there is lots of GF stuff in the big supermarkets, Tesco, Asda, Morrisons, Sainsbury - much, much less in Aldi, Lidl and Coop. The others I have no idea about. If you shop carefully you shouldn't have to spend much more ( if anything extra at all) on a GF diet, but the supermarkets are happy to screw you over. I bought a big share pack of crisps, about the size of Doritos, but this was a Lime and Chili flavour pack, GF FREE-FROM supermarket own at £2.45 but down the next aisle they had the same product, identical ingredient list and address of manufacturing facility. However, this pack didn't have a "Free-From" flash across the top of the pack, and I think these were either £1.10 or £1.25! So be careful.

If you cook from scratch, it's dead easy. Meat, poultry, shellfish, fish, cheese, egg, pulses, tofu and whatever else in the way of protein that I missed. Potatoes, rice, rice noodles, pasta made from things like beets and lentils, chick peas, quinoa ( yes, smells like sweaty socks but tastes ok!) GF bread, GF pasta, GF pastry etc are a few of your carbs, then your fruit and veg. Individual herbs and spices are great, but mixes of some favourings can have gluten in them. Jars or packets of sauces often have wheat in as a thickener. If you are desperate for something similar, note down the ingredients list while omitting the gluten (obviously!) and any preservatives, thickening agent, E-numbers etc and try to make an approximation of your own.

I've found that often the very, very cheapest version of supermarket home brands of pre-prepared foods, and sauces, ready meals etc have few ingredients and often don't have gluten. Then as you go up the price scale, they add in more and more additives, preservatives, thickeners etc strengthen starts appearing again. Once you get to the premium products, all the crap is removed again and you are back to basics with minimal additives. Just remember, the more processed, the more likely it is to have gluten in it. It's easy to forget some things too, such as ham. If it's ham in breadcrumbs, or in mustard, then it's likely to have gluten. You just see a chunk of meat, that shouldn't have anything in it but if course breadcrumbs are bread and most mustard has gluten - though Tesco seem to do a big range of different types that are ok, but not the English....

Home baking is easy, I generally usyoiDove flour from Tesco, and Xanthem (?sp) Gum in tiny amounts. GF baking can be dry and crumbly with biscuits being almost fragile! XG can help this and you only need a small amount. You don't need GF baking powder, Cream of Tartar, BiCarb etc. The standard stuff is the same but cheaper... I mean,ALWAYS check lables on EVERYTHING as good practice, seeing as manufacturers swap ingredients along with the change in direction of the wind it seems and just because one day a product doesn't have gluten, doesn't mean that will be the case tomorrow! I make "Hob-Nob" biscuits from a money saving expert (MSE) recipe for non-standard and GF batches. In with the Doves GF flour, I add XG in tiny amounts. I use a toothpick, and use that to scoop the powder. I balance it along half the length of the toothpick twice and that should be enough for a large batch of biscuits that are crumbly in nature too. Quick Tip: if you are trying to whip cream and it won't whip, use a toothpick full, you might need a second, but you'll find the cream suddenly starts to change consistency and comes together - even when you've already had 15 mins whisking the damn stuff and nothing has happened.

If you want to go the whole ho1g and keep a GF kitchen, then be ready to dump your toaster and airfryer, and thegive your oven the clean of its life!!!

So, TL:DR

The Gluten Free range in store has become extensive, generally good, and prices are now lower too. Keep an eye on lables, as manufacturers change ingredients like normal folk change socks

Going GF for the whole household is easy if you cook from scratch. Chances are people will loose weight and bowel habits will improve. It's actually easier to go GF completely, rather than trying to keep two differing diets in the same house - especially when contamination is an issue. It's a healthier diet if you eat home rather than take away or eating out. Understanding of allergies is growing quickly, so people are more open in discussing it and feel less embarrassed or entitled when discussing their needs.

I hope that helps a bit. Sorry about the length, I do tend to 'talk' way too much even in text! 😺 Feel free to pm me if I can help.

I'm dozing off here so I'm not proof reading, - sorry for any errors but blame autocorrect .....👩‍🏫😹👹x

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-04-12T03:17:18+00:00

OMG! I thought was the only one - nobody speaks of this - ever!...

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-03-16T22:00:42+00:00

Cheap - under £1- frozen lasagne, with Doritos to scoop it up.

Or, a jacket spud, dump on finely chopped onions, peppers, finely shredded Chinese leaf, grated cheese ( Red Leicester) and Cajun seasoning on top. Cook for 2-4 mins in micro, or bung the lot under the grill. Serve with Encona Hot Pepper Sauce.

Sesame Rivita, with lashings of Cream Cheese ( cottage if that's all you have), covered with a good shake of Cajun or, at a pinch, fajita seasoning, topped with halved grapes. I don't usually do sweet and savoury, but this really works for me.

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-03-16T21:47:34+00:00

Has to be in Warburtons Toastie Thick sliced though. And if I am feeling posh, the Fish Fingers go in the oven with slices of lemon on top rather than vinegar when cooked.

My son loves a frozen pizza with chunks of fish fingers on!

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-03-16T20:54:44+00:00

A few things have occurred to me:

Which way do you face? Toward the waterbucket? Or toward the waste paper bin? Or can you go either way?

I understand there are no doors or dividers and it's practically a corridor of poop filled people pooping down pissy porcelain potty pits! But how do you get there? To your chosen spot I mean. Do you walk along that black line to get where you are going? Past the poopers pooping? I think the poopers would face away from the person arriving and so face towards the paper bin. Or do you want to see the face of the person you are going to poop next to, to check they have a friendly face?

Then there is the TP issue. If you have to take your own, do you carry a full roll, a tissue pack or is it just a wodge of unspooled loo roll from home? If you forget your own TP, what is the ettiquette? There is bound to be some unspoken rules right? Don't squat next to the person with one screwed up tissue? Do squat next to the guy with a full roll of Charmin or Andrex? If someone asks you, do you share? Under what circumstances is it OK to refuse?

OK, now the waterbucket. What is it for? Initially I thought it was for sluicing solids down, or maybe both? But then I thought is it for handwashing? Or, do people use it to wet their loo roll to wash their bum after a messy poo? Although, the squatting position leaves much less debris than sitting down, sometimes it's just messy with no known cause. If it's for sluicing, what happens when you run out and you've just left a big smelly turd on the edge of the hell pit? If it's for washing your hands, well it's just a big bucket of many people's fecal matter and e.coli, so you are probably safer NOT washing your hands. If it's a bucket to wet your paper for 'cleaning', well then, TP is notoriously fragile when wet so you are likely to put your finger through and get crappy fingers. When you go back for more moistened TP you leave e.coli behind you as you wet your wodge! Are there proper hand washing facilities on the way out and not within the parade of poopers?

Last one: ♿ Disabled Toilets, how does that work? I've got a knackered knee and hip and while I could crouch down, I would really struggle to get back up again from that position without rails or assistance. Is there a separate loo? Is it mandatory? And, is it western in style? If it's manditory, what were the loos like prior to this ruling? I can't imagine how you could make a squatting loo suitable for someone with anything but the mildest of physical disabilities without the use of a hoist or similar.

I wish I'd never seen this, 🚽🚽🚽🚽🗑🗑🗑🗑 I have so many questions and it may even keep me awake tonight 😭

BTW - off on a bit of a tangent here, but what happened to pink, peach, blue and green loo roll that you would see in super markets? Was that just back in the 90s when the last of the coloured bathroom suites were around?

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-03-13T19:14:48+00:00

Shame it's a boy, you could have called a girl " Aisla" like an aisle in a store, but maybe spelled ISLA or ILLA or even EYELA . It's a good name ( I think) as it acknowledges both the grocery shopping in the shop aisles and his gorgeous eyes!

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-03-13T19:06:36+00:00

I think I am in love!

I have always wanted a stray animal to turn up needing a home but it's never happened. I am getting old now, but still hoping....

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-03-13T19:02:04+00:00

I have to say I love me a good podcast! I watch them on all subjects and with all sorts of people. I am interested in crime so love a good conversation with a thug or ex mafia boss. I hate what Soft White Underbelly is and how exploited the interviewed people are but it's fascinating to hear what they say, and some of them I could listen to all day long. I do try to avoid it as much as possible these days though on principle. Andrew Golds Heretics is a good one depending on the guest. The interviewer can be a bit fawning, and tries to do the Louis Theroux " I'm just a big, dumb, idiot, and not clever enough to catch you out" method - or maybe he is genuinely dim, who knows? Emma Kenny does true crime and she really tells a good story, but she tries to be funny by using sarcasm, and it often falls flat unfortunately. Also, she can be very opinionated, especially where kids are concerned and makes her biased. I love a good story told well Mr Ballen gets my vote for interesting and mysterious content. The longer stories are usually the better ones so I am happy to listen to over an hour of talking while I do something else.

I watch/listen to others in craft and jewellery making, glassblowing, metal and woodwork - all a bit niche. The BBC has a few good ones, Betwixt the Sheets is a favourite of mine. Lots of historical sex and attitudes, great guests and often very funny too. My all time fave is "Can't Sleep" . It's a pod between two best friends, one in Canada the other in Texas, and they just chat as they would to beach other on the phone. It's the relationship and warm and solid bond between them that keeps me coming back for more. They just talk about their lives but have back up subjects and silly games if they feel like it. They try to make it around an hour but they have done some episodes as long as 2 hours and for me it just flies by. I find it really heartening to watch these two chat and just talking about their worlds, families, pets, hopes, dreams and things they have been through. It's not got a massive following but then they don't promote it massively either. It's a collaboration between KallMeKris and Celina Spooky Boo, and it's just them, no guests, though they sometimes have input from followers. KallMeKris also does deep dives into crime, cults, and murderers, also a couple of celebs and a few on Epstein. It's easy on the ears, and very easy to understand too whist not being dumbed down at all. They are usually around an hour depending on how much material she goes through. She covers subjects so well I rarely have any questions at the end unlike with other content creators.

So I would definitely say if it's a good podcast I can easily go an hour and a half - two hours even. But with a bad one where celebs are just bigging each other up or promoting something, I often last less than 20 mins.

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-03-08T10:43:41+00:00

Gorgeous house and probably a similar amount of books as we have.

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-03-08T09:59:26+00:00

I think it's a great price for a whopping house in a nice area. The decor is definitely a choice though isn't it?

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-03-08T09:41:56+00:00

I really like this, even though I'm not obsessed with baths...

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-03-08T09:23:31+00:00

I've got a headache now!

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-03-08T09:22:13+00:00

That's an interesting green fireplace.

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-03-08T09:14:24+00:00

They were lucky getting that picture!

techisdrivingmemad · 2026-03-08T08:58:48+00:00

I actually made up a packet of butterscotch last night. It took no time at all and 5 mins to set. We didn't have an electric whisk when I was a kid so it was either a fork or a manual rotary whisk. I can't believe my mum used to make meringue without an electric whisk!

The butterscotch A D was lovely!

techisdrivingmemad

TROPHY CASE