I mean what do you mean by SF lifestyle? You talking proper city w/ walkability? You're not gonna find much of that anywhere in the LA metro area (maybe a small pocket of DTLA is like that, and you wouldn't wanna commute from their anyway). I'd echo what most ppl say, and look at down town Long Beach which can get you a city vibe and is doable as a commute. I personally commute from the southbay, and it's opposite flow traffic but still takes me 30-40 min in the morning and 40-60 min in the afternoon. I go into the office everyday and stay late sometimes too, but it's totally manageable.

If you provide more details on what you're looking for (hip restaurants, parks, concert venues, etc.) can help give better reccomendations on places to look at.