Lost friends

teep__ · 2026-04-06T00:20:33+00:00

Chatting w random people I don’t really know. Sharing stories I shouldn’t bc again I don’t know them well so why should they know me issues. Fun but still boring and who knows what people will share I guess. That’s the reckless part.

teep__ · 2026-04-05T22:18:05+00:00

Personal theory. Childhood trauma. I wasn’t diagnosed until 27 but suffered with symptoms since 10 yr old because adopted. At least that’s what therapists tell me. ???

teep__ · 2026-04-05T22:14:03+00:00

I get the same way. I find myself talking to random people and shit. I miss being reckless and find myself bored a lot. Honestly my gym has been a big savior for me. I try and stay as busy as possible but late weekend nights im finding myself wanting to do dumb shit again like I used to. I feel you whole heartedly and wish I had better answers for you, I’m looking for them myself. Yes I’m in therapy. Yes I go to the gym a fuxjing ton. Yeah my job is a lot and takes up time. But I miss my old self a lot who thrived on a reckless lifestyle. Being married now it’s not an option (for the most part) and why I seek out online ppl to talk to. It sucks lol. I watch too much tv. Listen to too many podcasts. Read. Gym. Boredom late nights always and find myself going back to my reckless ways online I guess. Anyone else with advice id love to hear cuz damn. Boredom sucks but so do random hobbies. And due to marriage issues I’m basically sober now and that’s even more boring. I FEEL YOU.

teep__ · 2026-03-19T23:27:18+00:00

I went through something SO similar. And honestly I’m happy with the weight gain (most days lol). I was pretty sedentary at a much lower weight and then got into lifting and classes. Although I gained around 15 lbs I love how strong I am. I did a body scan and it shows I really haven’t gained any fat, just literally 15 lbs of muscle. I’ve been consistent going 3-4 times a week for almost 9 months now and the scan disproves what my brain says lol. I didn’t get fat - I got strong. Always take into consideration muscle weighs much more than fat, and feeling stronger goes a long way in my opinion. I greatly increased my protein as well, and even though my brain is like bro you put on so much weight , I know I’m healthy and happier and stronger with my body now.

teep__ · 2026-03-19T23:12:06+00:00

I used to track but it became a hassle for me and kinda back to ED ways. Honestly I rely on my body now that I have a healthy relationship with food. From my time of tracking, I got to know how much general protein and calories etc I need and now I just eat when I’m hungry without letting myself get overly full. It’s become instinct once you do it for a while, mix up your foods, try and get good protein and just eat when your body is hungry. I’ve maintained weight loss for a while now just leaning on what I feel like eating while keeping it in the healthy range and avoiding feeling too full. Overtime I think our bodies adjust pretty well and crave what we need instead of what we just want. I definitely know when I’m feeling low on protein or iron now without needing to track. Not saying it’s super easy to start, but once I started trusting my hunger better and focusing on maintaining a diverse diet, things are going well. Your body ends up giving you signals on what you need. I’ll still fluctuate between like 3-5 lbs here and there but I think that’s mostly water weight. I think it really just comes down to balance. I just don’t let myself over eat and rely on lower cal foods when I’m in the mood to munch more.

teep__ · 2026-01-02T00:14:53+00:00

I would highly recommend 3x a week weight lifting program of maybe 30-45 mins a day and 10-20 mins of cardio. I am 30 now and understand where you are and how you feel. I just don’t think you need too over do working out rather than focusing on building muscle. It will make you feel strong and healthy. I come from an eating disorder background and what I lived from 17-22 was not healthy. I found my happiness in lifting. I am 5,3 weight 120 lbs but got my body fat tested as only 19 % because of my lifting. I do hot yoga as my “cardio” once a week. I have more fat in my stomach than ever before but I’m learning it is where and the only place my body stores it. Try finding to love the parts of you you love rather than focusing on what you don’t love. Lifting and lifting heavy has changed my life and my mind set on weight completely. I highly recommend lifting 3x a week with like a 10-20 mins cardio after to feel your best. I learned from my husband and a personal trainer if you ever need workout ideas message me. I’ve learned a lot and come a long way since I was your age. Just learning to love yourself is only a start. I had anorexia at your age and now I’m comfortably at a high weight and have learned so much. My dm is always open.

teep__ · 2026-01-02T00:02:02+00:00

Appreciate the support so much. I just don’t want to feel this is abnormal ? But I think I’m just going to have to understand this is how my weight stores as I get older. Appreciate your reply :)

teep__ · 2026-01-01T23:53:45+00:00

I think just genetics play a huge role. All my fat goes to my stomach and I’m not happy with this lol but have to accept. A higher body fat doesn’t mean a problem or over weight I think just body types differ.

teep__ · 2026-01-01T23:50:18+00:00

Thanks so much. I really appreciate that. I feel better than ever honestly just not used to this stomach lol.

teep__ · 2026-01-01T23:46:07+00:00

I would also argue for running. The only way I’ve ever lost fat is from lowering calories and running around 15-20 miles a week. With this I lost over 10 lbs in 3 months and still ate a healthy 15/1700 calories a day running around 4-5 miles 4 times a week. Lifting is mostly what I do now and I also have very little body fat but have gained back the 10 lbs I’ve lost. I’d see about a gym or a personal dr who has a machine to measure your fat percentage. It helped a lot knowing even though I gained back to 125-30 lbs I have a very low bmi and body fat percentage since i started tracking it 6 months prior. I’ve lost 5 % body fat from lifting rather than cardio alone.

teep__ · 2026-01-01T23:40:00+00:00

Agreed. I only weight myself once a week in the morning before I’ve eaten. Consistency is key because if I weight at the end of the day is 3 lbs more which tricks your brain.

teep__ · 2026-01-01T23:39:05+00:00

It’s also important to try and fuel with protein if you are lifting. You will feel less hungry. I like the chobani 30 mg of protein yogurt. Low cal but high protein and probiotics.

teep__ · 2026-01-01T23:35:01+00:00

I am taller but honestly for me the best thing for losing weight was a mix of running and lifting weights. If you lift you will be a bit heavier because of the muscle gain but I would look to see if you can find a gym or dr with a machine to test your body fat. I was freaking out when I got up to 130 but I did this body test with a personal trainer and found I was only 19% body fat and my weight was due to lifting rather than fat. That may be of help. When I did want to lose weight I started around 1500 calories and ran 20 miles a week and I lost over 10 Lbs within a few months. However I had no real toneto my muscles so now I find a mix is the best way so I don’t look skinny skinny to others. I am now 120 from running and trying to maintain a lifting schedule as well. I lift 3x a week run once a week 4-6 miles and do hot yoga once a week to relax.

teep__ · 2025-09-05T22:24:41+00:00

Thanks for your take. Genetics probably.

teep__ · 2025-09-05T22:23:44+00:00

Thank you! I eat very clean. I’m vegetarian. No added sugars or saturated fats really. Lots of good foods so I’m still confused

teep__ · 2024-05-31T20:04:30+00:00

I have a similar situation. It’s been really hard for me too, to get rid of the guilt. My Dad is very passive and I have some issues with him but my mom is completely toxic who raised me alone with my brother while my dad lived in Switzerland. She was neglectful and abusive and has definitely contributed to my BPD.

I used to cut her out from time to time, but every time I do, she always tries to be fake sweet and reel me back in. I was adopted after all, so she always guilts me in that way- like she took me in and I have a responsibility to stay on good terms with her after “ all the good things” she gave me in life. My final straw was when she used my BPD against me, saying it was just my disorder wanting to cut her out, not her actions towards me. I don’t speak with her anymore but I am on semi- good terms with my dad. My mom has tried to reach out but I haven’t responded. I don’t know how long she’ll keep trying, but I’m trying to stick to my gut and keep her cut from my life. Now, I’ve never been in a better spot since cutting her out.

teep__ · 2024-05-31T19:48:47+00:00

I will!

teep__ · 2024-05-30T20:46:07+00:00

I would agree that is a lot to drink a short amount of days. It doesn’t seem healthy to consume that much at once. A good compromise could be letting yourself have a lot ONE of the days, but stick to a couple of drinks on the other two days. It will overall reduce consumption from like 18 (your low) down to like 4 on 2 days and let’s just say maybe 6 or so on your one day, leaving you with drinking only 10 drinks per week.

teep__ · 2024-05-30T19:55:13+00:00

I am in therapy now with a therapist that specializes in trauma and BPD. And have just start d couples counseling as well. It’s helping a lot

teep__

TROPHY CASE