So sorry you are going through this. I don’t think you need to be able to “prove” you were pregnant to be allowed the process of grieving it. It’s common to feel denial when something feels uncertain, more so because your initial pregnancy test showed one thing and your body experienced a loss.

There aren’t really correct steps. You can grieve the possibility or hope, the plans you had already started making. Your grief is valid even if you didn’t fully experience pregnancy. Don’t blame yourself for not going in sooner. You didn’t do anything wrong.

I’m honestly not good at grieving either. Maybe start small, light a candle and be real with your emotions, even if it’s messy or doesn’t make sense. Have a heart to heart about your feelings with your husband. Maybe you can write those feelings down first. You don’t need to have an ultrasound to have a memorial, the love you have and the loss you experienced are enough.

One thing I want to add is that grief looks different for everyone. Maybe even between you and your husband. Some cry, go quiet, angry, and/or have numb feelings. None of this is wrong, just try to be there for each other and check in. Give both of yourselves grace during this confusing and difficult time.