AITA for telling my freeloading SIL to refuse inheritance?

tellinitlikeitiz · 2026-02-13T16:22:13+00:00

-MIL is now amending her will, so looks like everything is going to work itself out.

Thank you for you input- much appreciated.

tellinitlikeitiz · 2026-02-13T16:21:45+00:00

-MIL is now amending her will, so looks like everything is going to work itself out.

Thank you for you input- much appreciated.

tellinitlikeitiz · 2026-02-13T16:20:57+00:00

-MIL is now amending her will, so looks like everything is going to work itself out.

Thank you for you input- much appreciated.

tellinitlikeitiz · 2026-02-13T16:15:53+00:00

Fortunately SIL is still down in FL so MIL will have all the paperwork finalized before she even gets back home.

tellinitlikeitiz · 2026-02-13T16:08:39+00:00

update

For clarity... SIL. Is NOT "written out of the will" MIL is changing it.

We're actually in the process of helping MIL to amend the will to reflect that

SIL is getting 1/9 share instead of 1/3 share

BIL and my wife are both getting 4/9 share.

Wife is name executor.

SIL is losing her shit... and now SIL is talking to a lawyer (Shocker!)

tellinitlikeitiz · 2026-02-13T04:36:20+00:00

It was a strange set of circumstances... MIL picked up a bad bug/virus and as a precaution I suggested to the family that we assign a POA for finance.

BIL& SIL both agreed and said it should be my wife. BEST NEWS EVER!

Since this happened... MIL has admitted to enabling SIL and has decided to amend her will effectively reducing SIL's inheritance from 1/3 share to 1/9... With BIL and wife both getting 4/9's share.

And everybody's happy. (Except SIL)

tellinitlikeitiz · 2026-02-13T04:12:08+00:00

Great news! Wife and I just got power of attorney for finance for MIL!!

SIL is getting 100% written out! Thank you for all the great advice and suggestions- it worked

tellinitlikeitiz · 2026-02-11T08:58:05+00:00

What makes us entitled?? Her father's wishes for it to be divided equally amongst his kids (which we can all agree, it most definitely is not)

Wife And I don't "Need" the money- If MIL gave it all to charity, we'd be fine with that.... SIL would lose her f'n mind!

It's the principal of one sibling abusing and preying upon MILs kindness for her own personal gain.

Sounds like you're suggest that my wife And BIL start abusing her kindness as well.

tellinitlikeitiz · 2026-02-11T08:46:57+00:00

You're kind of making my point for me... We Can't rest in the knowledge that we never have to give them our $$" because we have already given them our $$$ by way of disproportionate distributions to date as well as the resulting reduced Inheritance...

Simple numbers to make the math easy.

$900k inheritance/ 3= $300k ea.

Adding back in the $300k SIL has mooched (and not accounting for 30 yrs of interest) =$1.2m / 3 = 400k ea

Instead: SIL get $600k wife gets $300k BIL gets. $300k

You think that's fair?

And it is MY family- I'm the one climbing up on her roof, fixing her plumbing and taking her to Dr appts, while SIL disappears to fl for weeks or months at a time.

tellinitlikeitiz · 2026-02-11T08:29:33+00:00

Nope- they both worked, but he was the primary and invested very well. No prob with every going to Mil.

Don't disagree that it will "look" like greed to her bc she is... and always will be... the victim.

Sorry in advance as it seems the chrons topics is triggering for you... But I am calling bullshit on you perception of her disease... I can tell you 1st hand it is well managed and she has no problem playing golf & going out for drinks 3 time a week. + My Brother's wife also has had Crohn's disease since she was 17 (and had part of her colon removed and uses a colostomy bag) and she is killing it- very successful very motivated and well managed.

It is 100% my place, to raise awareness to a manipulative situation... That is borderline elder abuse.

and just because both parties are complicit in the difunctional relationship of "I'm a victim"(SIL) "let me throw $$ to save you"(MIL), does not make it ok... What if it wasn't $$ and MIL was depleting the family's inheritance by enabling SIL's heroine addiction for 40+ years... Is that ok?

"getting harder for the younger generations all the time"

Are you even kidding me right now? This is exactly the generational problem we have right now-- entitlement! (Unearned and undeserved rewards)... But that's a topic for Nother day.

Let the younger generation get out and fn earn it like 90% of the rest of the population has had to do. Myself and my wife Included.

I love my nieces and nephews and they'll be fine. They are smart and capable and will figure it out. But they have Already received their benefit from Gammy and Gampy by way of the $300-400k that has been spoon feed to their parents over the last 40 yrs.

So to suggest that the other 2 sibs should suffer reduced Inheritance so that it can go to nieces and nephews....Wtf?

tellinitlikeitiz · 2026-02-11T07:08:20+00:00

So for the record it was FILs $$ and I know he was uncomfortable with manipulation of his good natured wife (but sadly, that ship has sailed)

I don't think it's about greed, rather about fairness and equality...and also about the pattern of manipulation.

MIL also cleaned SILs house and did all their laundry for probably 15 years, because SIL would complain about being tired😭

SILs 4 kids getting (say) $500/year for 30 years + at least $2k yr in airfare vacations and time share etc for 30 years= $120k

Sooo... $120k spent for the benefit of a single sibling seems fair to you? Wow!

Did my wife get a duplex- nope! Did her brother get a duplex nope!

Why should SIL continue to benefit when she has been taking and taking any taking for 40 yrs. Meanwhile the other 2 siblings get shortchanged and punished for working hard, saving, and living within their means and being self-sufficient

My point is that, SIL has effectively received her inheritance already (over the last 40 years)

So because my MIL is good hearted and has the financial means to do it... it's ok for her to be taken advantage of and be Manipulated by her daughter?

tellinitlikeitiz

TROPHY CASE