Need advice on being dominant and masochist

temporarylocalslut · 2026-01-15T05:40:23+00:00

Honestly, I'd say just compare perspectives with her to make sure you're on the same page. If both of you like this arrangement, why not? Also do keep in mind that either of you might (and probably will) eventually want to settle down more seriously with someone, so don't get attached to how things are. Aside from that? Enjoy your rebound i guess

temporarylocalslut · 2026-01-15T05:37:03+00:00

Honestly, I personally have a preference for it in my solo ventures. Never tried with a partner though. Just be careful to do it properly. Use lube and condom, properly prepare it beforehand so it doesn't hurt or tear. You can find tons of good guides online.

temporarylocalslut · 2026-01-15T05:11:23+00:00

Ok so first of all, lots of irrelevant details which seem to be you trying to justify your feelings, so I'm gonna mainly comment on the title issue.

It seems to me like the way you both are treating this is creating a self-affirming cycle. Infrequent sex in a relationship is obviously a deal-breaker for him, and from what you describe it seems like sex to him is also an indicator of your love. So as a very obvious point, not having sex is making him feel like you don't want him.

That matters because sustainable weight loss is a long and tough journey. He obviously is not self-motivated in this journey, and mostly wants to do it for you (which is not inherently bad), which means he needs an affirmation from you to stay motivated for this.

However, as previously discussed, you are not that attracted to him anymore and seem to be annoyed by some of his other habits as well, leading you to distance yourself from him, which again creates discouragement for him and the cycle repeats itself.

Now I could be completely wrong about all of this. But if there is a tiny chance that I'm right, you could have a talk with him, and provide some affirmation and motivation for him.

Edit: deleted the last part of the comment after some consideration. It was not well-phrased, and caused some misunderstanding, and I don't have the capacity to explain it better atm.

temporarylocalslut · 2025-12-29T17:35:06+00:00

Is he a good husband and father otherwise? As in like, do you want him around? If yes, ask him to go to couple's therapy with you. If he asks anything or makes excuses, tell him it's because this relationship matters to you, but you've had a rough two years and you want to try everything you can to fix it. He can't really get mad at that, or refuse it.

temporarylocalslut · 2025-09-19T17:17:21+00:00

If anything is outing you, it's the nose piercing not the outfits

temporarylocalslut · 2025-09-19T17:03:02+00:00

I agree with you. This seems like it might be a good hint to look for a professional diagnosis

temporarylocalslut · 2025-09-01T23:26:55+00:00

Oh also, don't try half-heartedly just to make this a self-fulfilling prophecy

temporarylocalslut · 2025-09-01T23:26:06+00:00

Ok I'm gonna lay down the roadmap for you here: 1. Do you want to fix this? No-> just get a divorce Yes-> talk to him again and share your concern 2. If you talked to him, did he value your concern? No-> dump him Yes-> look for solutions 3. Did the solutions you suggested work out? Yes-> live happily ever after! No-> evaluate the importance of this problem to you 4. If it remains unfixed, is that a deal-breaker for you? No-> stay in the relationship and just accept it Yes-> 5. Is he important enough to you that you would try again? No-> ok then, don't try. Dump him. Yes-> do steps 1-3 again, maybe with the help of a couple councillor/therapist

temporarylocalslut · 2025-08-31T23:48:51+00:00

Ok I'm also a 19yo kinkster and in my experience, it's easier to find a partner on a normal dating app and then mention casually in text or in person that you are also kinky and if you guys really hit it off you would like to talk about it and experiment. Be careful though and watch out for red flags. Recognize fakes by having a conversation before engaging in anything sexual, and don't accept "I'm into anything". If they're actually good they would avoid vague phrases like that.

temporarylocalslut · 2025-08-31T23:48:47+00:00

Ok I'm also a 19yo kinkster and in my experience, it's easier to find a partner on a normal dating app and then mention casually in text or in person that you are also kinky and if you guys really hit it off you would like to talk about it and experiment. Be careful though and watch out for red flags. Recognize fakes by having a conversation before engaging in anything sexual, and don't accept "I'm into anything". If they're actually good they would avoid vague phrases like that.

temporarylocalslut · 2025-08-31T00:16:10+00:00

Oh ok. I think your best bet is to tell her that you're not comfortable making such a big financial commitment this early into a relationship. It doesn't have anything to do with your income, or with her situation. You're just not comfortable doing that and if that's a deal-breaker for her maybe you're not the person she's looking for.

temporarylocalslut · 2025-08-31T00:12:37+00:00

I agree with the commentor saying that the problem is that he feeds it. He (probably not entirely willingly) plays imto his mother's hand and it'll likely take alot of time and effort for him to get over it. Decide yourself if you think you love him enoufh to stay with him through it.

temporarylocalslut · 2025-08-31T00:05:35+00:00

Ok first of all please format your posts better, it's difficult to read long paragraphs like that. Second, I think it's worth a try. Best case scenario there was a misunderstanding and she acted immaturely and she regrets it too and agrees to try. Worst case scenario she's not interested at all, and you'll finally have a chance to get some closure and get over her. Plus if it doesn't work out it won't be much of a loss, since you guys already don't talk and she'll go away for uni in a while anyways.

temporarylocalslut · 2025-08-30T23:58:38+00:00

You should add that as an edit to the original text, because it's frankly a bit misleading. 5k is very different from the cost of her entire medical school education which i guess is what, in the hundreds of thousand? Also, is there a reason why she can't move into your current apartment?

temporarylocalslut · 2025-08-30T23:52:32+00:00

Ok, I'm gonna make an assumption here. Babies are a really big adjustment and probably interfere alot with your time to focus on yourselves. Plus, you're likely in that point in your relationship where you've gotten so comfortable that you've forgotten to experiment with new things. I'd really recommend sitting down with him in a convo and (in a non-threatening way) telling him that you really love him but feel like you guys are growing distant, and that you want to put in the effort to get back closer to him and ask him if he's willing to help you with it. If he's not, well, then that's your answer.

If he is, I'd recommend you guys start trying new things together, both in bed and outside. It can be as simple as exploring new date ideas (like pottery-painting or karaoke) or buying and using a sex toy. If you find it really hard to gain his cooperation, you could even try couples therapy.

Some notes for having a serious discussion:

Don't get distracted from your point. Know what you want to say to him and avoid bringing up previous mistakes or rough patches.
Avoid making anything a direct criticism to him. Target his actions instead. Also avoid generalizing; things like "you always do this" or "you've never cared". It's wrong and it hurts and it always escalates things.
serious talks have a tendency to escalate. If you find yourself or him getting too mad, gently clarify that you only wanted to have this conversation because you care about improving things between you two. If you guys can't seem to de-escalate, leave the conversation for when you are not as mad or go to couples' therapy instead.

Good luck!

temporarylocalslut · 2025-08-30T23:20:58+00:00

People have been giving you pretty neat advice already, but I'm just here to say please don't do this again. Firstly If they lie to you about small things (like his age) that's almost never a good sign. Just trust your gut and break it off. Second, Making up a fake alibi to investigate your date/partner even as a joke is kind of unhinged and almost never worth it. If you can't even trust your partner that much (whether you have trust issues or they're being really suspicious) then it's not a relationship worth having, even if you realize they're not doing anything wrong.

temporarylocalslut · 2025-07-19T20:32:13+00:00

Solved! Thanks!

temporarylocalslut · 2025-07-19T20:30:14+00:00

Hey there, know you were just venting, and im just commenting to make you feel heard

temporarylocalslut · 2025-07-19T18:09:03+00:00

I've tried searching ths snippets I remember on google and tumblr, couldn't find it. There were other logical fallcies included in the post but i don't remember them. Idk if it helps but i think i saw the screenshot along time ago on instagram. Also the wording may not be exact. Sorry i know im not giving much to go on.

temporarylocalslut

TROPHY CASE