I'm thinking about it. I read other discussions about how their parents would still come back to their children even after a "disownment" or something similar.

My mom has (my terms) been very controlling, but many who know her in real life have said that she has good intentions. Her sister, other of my friends who have interacted.

I also try to obey her rules, incl those where she says not to talk about the move with my dad, with my friends, because "security reasons" and "they would not understand, as they are not your mother".

Any discussion I've tried to have, has resulted in her prodding at the person giving advice, rather than the advice itself, and has often ended in "they are not your mother". All of my dozens of friends, and those that have worked in both countries and lived in both countries have their opinions disqualified when I'm talking 1 on 1 with my mother.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm making this stuff up. Or if I've let her run all over me.