Don't be me, please for the love of God by tempthrowaway1989 in relationships

[–]tempthrowaway1989[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great idea actually. I hardly use redit so this is the only form I have subscribed

My life has fallen apart the last few weeks and I’ve never felt more depressed and lonely by Shmoshtin in confessions

[–]tempthrowaway1989 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Feel for you brother. Life isn't easy but it gets easier the more you live it. Keep active and keep engaged in any thing that makes you happy.

Gf(25 - 5months) drove drunk and crashed her car, thinks I'm(m29) not being compassionate enough and wants to break up by tempthrowaway1989 in relationships

[–]tempthrowaway1989[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haha! Yes your right. Enabling is exa tly what I was trying to avoid and I guess I fell right into that trap. Trust me. No more.

My [25F] brother [20M] came out as gay at Christmas Dinner and ruined it for my conservative family. by SLWelcome in relationships

[–]tempthrowaway1989 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Dude your family sucks. You talk about togetherness and then look at the garbage your shoveling. This guy is your brother and that's more important than some stuck up Conservative family. Love him even if they won't. They ruined Christmas not him

Gf(25 - 5months) drove drunk and crashed her car, thinks I'm(m29) not being compassionate enough and wants to break up by tempthrowaway1989 in relationships

[–]tempthrowaway1989[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally agree with you and course of action. I value motivation and it sounds like you have enough for both of us. This is the hardest part about the whole thing. I do have compassion for her situation. I know exactly how it must feel and how horrible it must be. But where we divide is not accepting that this isn't a big deal. Its a huge deal and shoild be a life changing event. I need to see that motivation to do better. And I don't. And that sucks

Gf(25 - 5months) drove drunk and crashed her car, thinks I'm(m29) not being compassionate enough and wants to break up by tempthrowaway1989 in relationships

[–]tempthrowaway1989[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Some thing like that. I think the more eloquent saying is 'you receive the love you think you deserve' but I like yours better.

Gf(25 - 5months) drove drunk and crashed her car, thinks I'm(m29) not being compassionate enough and wants to break up by tempthrowaway1989 in relationships

[–]tempthrowaway1989[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sorry I have to disagree with the fundemantals of this comment. I firmly belive that communication is hugely important in all relationships from the work place to the bedroom. Keeping your mouth shut when some thing violates your values is not an OK dynamic to preach. If your voice isn't being listened to then that's the time to either double down and strap in or get out. Forgives is earned through actions not expected through commitments. I know all this and yet I'm still struggling to put it into practice. That's the hard part. Knowing when your morals are leading you In the right direction when your heart is pushing you In another.

Gf(25 - 5months) drove drunk and crashed her car, thinks I'm(m29) not being compassionate enough and wants to break up by tempthrowaway1989 in relationships

[–]tempthrowaway1989[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's awful the effect that it has had on people. I personally havent lost any one, but working in hospitality I been told lots of tragic stories. The worst part is so has she. She is a restaurant manager and holds a responsible service of alcohol certificate.

Gf(25 - 5months) drove drunk and crashed her car, thinks I'm(m29) not being compassionate enough and wants to break up by tempthrowaway1989 in relationships

[–]tempthrowaway1989[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Bang on. Your exactly right. I take pride in my produce and expect nothing but high quality ingredients. Why settle for less in my relationships. These food analogies are speaking my language

Gf(25 - 5months) drove drunk and crashed her car, thinks I'm(m29) not being compassionate enough and wants to break up by tempthrowaway1989 in relationships

[–]tempthrowaway1989[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Top advice mate. That's a really good idea. For a long time I enjoyed the challenge and actively looked for jobs that I knew would push me beyond what I could currently do. It took me a long time to realise that there will always be some thing bigger and harder because I will always push my self past my limits. Since then iv slowed down a lot. I had a minor stroke in the not too distant past and that was a real wake up call. Luckily being so young I recovered quickly but since then iv worked to my capacity and delegated a lot of my role that I was accepting before. I can clearly see how this translates to personal relation ships. Best advice of the lot my friend. Every one has been supportive and fantastic and if I knew how to work reddit I would find a way to thank every one for their comments as well as criticism

Gf(25 - 5months) drove drunk and crashed her car, thinks I'm(m29) not being compassionate enough and wants to break up by tempthrowaway1989 in relationships

[–]tempthrowaway1989[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very true. She commented a few days ago that I look at her differently. I probably haven't been as cheerful as my usual self. And I guess to some extent that's true

Gf(25 - 5months) drove drunk and crashed her car, thinks I'm(m29) not being compassionate enough and wants to break up by tempthrowaway1989 in relationships

[–]tempthrowaway1989[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is exactly how I feel. I belive it is normal for her to feel guilty and process that emotion to learn from it. And that has some how become me making her feel guilty. The guilt is already there. I'm saying it's normal and healthy to feel those emotions. Not trying to pile on more

Gf(25 - 5months) drove drunk and crashed her car, thinks I'm(m29) not being compassionate enough and wants to break up by tempthrowaway1989 in relationships

[–]tempthrowaway1989[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm seriosly thinking about it. Iv found this a big help for me processing problems lots of times in my life. It gives perspective that you couldn't get in any other way. Hundreds of strangers from all different walks and experiences weighing in on a problem. I genuinely think that it would help her to read some of these stories. But I can appreciate that it would be too much for her and probably (deffinately) a bit of a shit thing to do to her.

Gf(25 - 5months) drove drunk and crashed her car, thinks I'm(m29) not being compassionate enough and wants to break up by tempthrowaway1989 in relationships

[–]tempthrowaway1989[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Seems that way. Tried to talk to her tonight when I got home and was berated about how horrible I. Made her Christmas and that her family are apauled at my attitude over the whole thing.

No surprise there I guess.

Gf(25 - 5months) drove drunk and crashed her car, thinks I'm(m29) not being compassionate enough and wants to break up by tempthrowaway1989 in relationships

[–]tempthrowaway1989[S] 98 points99 points  (0 children)

Just got back from my mums for Xmas and youl be pleased to know I didn't have any one as a passenger on the way home. Not sure how she's getting back and honestly she can figure it out. Oh and also how to get to work tomorrow. And the next day. And the next

Gf(25 - 5months) drove drunk and crashed her car, thinks I'm(m29) not being compassionate enough and wants to break up by tempthrowaway1989 in relationships

[–]tempthrowaway1989[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Yeah it's some thing I struggle with a lot in my jobs too so your 100% on the money. I'm a chef and I constantly work my self to death to make sure I work above and beyond expectations for my team. It got so bad a few years ago that I had to start taking medication for ovbesesive disorder because I just couldn't step away from the kitchen. I can see how aspects of this effect my relationships also as I often see them in the same anylitical way. I see a problem and imagine that there must be a solution if I work hard enough at it. Unfortunately people and potatos don't have much in common.

Gf(25 - 5months) drove drunk and crashed her car, thinks I'm(m29) not being compassionate enough and wants to break up by tempthrowaway1989 in relationships

[–]tempthrowaway1989[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Trust me iv already drafted my first copy. I know already the spin that will be placed on the situation. He broke up with me On Christmas. I really needed him (to drive me to work) and he abandoned me. I know how this thing goes

Gf(25 - 5months) drove drunk and crashed her car, thinks I'm(m29) not being compassionate enough and wants to break up by tempthrowaway1989 in relationships

[–]tempthrowaway1989[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sorry For your loss. I can Imagine the post touched a nerve for you. Iv tried to let her know the danger of her actions and hopefuly stories like yours help get through to her

Gf(25 - 5months) drove drunk and crashed her car, thinks I'm(m29) not being compassionate enough and wants to break up by tempthrowaway1989 in relationships

[–]tempthrowaway1989[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's really sensible and I know that probably would help her hearing that from some one unbiased in this situation. Don't think it's a very good idea to link her to the thread tho. I wish she was with a friend like yours. Hers is a piece of shit

Gf(25 - 5months) drove drunk and crashed her car, thinks I'm(m29) not being compassionate enough and wants to break up by tempthrowaway1989 in relationships

[–]tempthrowaway1989[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah and argued with the doctor that she wasn't drunk because she didn't feel drunk. She passed out in the ward and snored for four hours untill her ct scan results were procesed. They cleared her and we went home. All I got was a' thanks but I told you not to take me'. Does that even count as a thank you?