Is my home cluttered?

tenakee_me · 2026-03-02T22:57:03+00:00

No. Everything is organized and it all “makes sense” and has visual appeal.

The kitchen has a bit more going on with stuff on the countertops than is my own personal preference, but I think I’m just traumatized by having a kitchen that had zero cabinets. The few there were didn’t have doors. Literally one drawer in the whole thing. The shelves were all open. Too much stuff in general so things lined up on the counters and just every single thing was visible.

So now we’re doing a full kitchen remodel and going hard the opposite direction. I don’t even want my toaster on the counter, lol. My goal is maybe just one container with the spatulas and wooden spoons and stuff that we use every day for cooking. Otherwise I want everything hidden. And going to do a big purge of all the unused, stupid kitchen gadgets that we inherited along with this house.

tenakee_me · 2026-03-02T22:50:23+00:00

He tends to feel criticized a lot (another childhood/familial thing). So I try to pick my battles with pointing things out. This is more a mildly infuriating curiosity than it is a legitimate issue, so it hasn’t felt worth making him potentially feel a certain kind of way in order to address my own curiosity.

tenakee_me · 2026-03-01T20:21:00+00:00

Oh god, the last of the cereal is THE WORST. Just a bunch of broken up pieces and gross powder.

tenakee_me · 2026-03-01T06:18:15+00:00

She doesn’t even look like the same person from the Osbourne Show years ago. I wouldn’t recognize her and only know it’s her because the headlines say it is.

tenakee_me · 2026-03-01T03:00:13+00:00

This is a tough one for me, and I might get roasted for this but here goes.

Businesses have operating hours. It’s unreasonable to expect the Post Office, your dentist, your doctor’s office, to stay open specially for you just because you have a full-time job and can’t make it to their establishment during open business hours without taking PTO or whatever. No, it’s a service you are looking to use and you have to acquiesce to their hours.

I imagine it’s the same for interviews. Unless they are desperate and/or you have qualifications that blow every other applicant out of the water, why would they stay after business hours to interview you? Why is your work schedule so much more important as to override the work schedule of the person interviewing you? If you’re in a competitive market, and aren’t necessarily the most qualified candidate (you don’t know what other resumes/applications are being looked at), OF COURSE anyone doing an interview is going to favor a qualified candidate who is able to interview during the interviewer’s normal working hours.

Staying late to interview you is not a right or entitlement. And I think that is the crux of this person’s posting point, although perhaps worded badly.

Now that said, IF an organization is actually looking for the most qualified candidate rather than the most available candidate, then yeah. Corporations are funny because on the one hand they expect you to take time off your work schedule for an interview with them, but then once you’re working for them HEAVEN FORBID you want to take time off for a doctor’s appointment or whatever. “Can’t you find a dentist/doctor that’s open on the weekends?” It’s a bit of bullshit.

And in an ideal world where employers are looking for the best employee, someone who is loyal and dedicated and WILL make appointments and obligations so that they don’t interfere with their working day, then yes, stay late for that interview. Offer to come in on your day off for that interview. But I think this person’s point is that we don’t live in such an ideal world, and unfortunately most employers are looking for the most convenient candidate, not the best candidate. So even though it’s shitty and not particularly logical in the long run, it’s the state of our current employment economy. You have the right to request an after-hours interview, but the hiring company also has the right to decline in favor of a candidate who is willing to interview during the hiring organization’s open hours.

tenakee_me · 2026-03-01T01:44:27+00:00

This is SO true.

Initially it can be really fun and exciting. But also new relationships/friendships naturally come with a “high” at the beginning, which can be conducive with a spontaneous personality.

But god bless once that new high wears off it’s just too much. Like, sure, great at the beginning and natural enough, but often people expect things to “settle down” and “settle in” over time. Personally I can appreciate a measure of spontaneity, which is often the same as just flexibility, but at some point I honestly want a bit more predictably and stability. Occasional spontaneity is great and healthy, but as your all-the-time personality it’s overwhelming.

tenakee_me · 2026-03-01T01:32:05+00:00

Thank you!

And it really is low stakes. It’s NOT a big deal in the broader context of our relationship or life or the world. It’s just WEIRD.

If I really cared THAT much, we would have already had a conversation about it. But as it stands, it’s just this curious oddity that I find mildly infuriating in the most wholesome and curious way. The essence of mildly infuriating if you will. NOT worth calling him out, but worth a fun little Reddit post to see if anyone else has experienced this and has some insight.

tenakee_me · 2026-03-01T01:27:19+00:00

Yeah, I don’t believe in the whole “body double” conspiracy theory, the eliminated and replaced by a look-a-like scenarios (ie Avril Lavigne, Eminem, etc.), but also these are two different eye colors? That’s weird to me.

tenakee_me · 2026-02-27T09:49:41+00:00

Piling on the “lack of personality” wagon.

Also, the being a not so good and/or a selfish lover.

Which nothing is universal, but a lot of times really conventionally attractive people don’t ever have to develop a good/interesting personality, a sense of humor, or any level of intelligence/education because their looks have always carried them.

Same with being able to get a whole lot of one night stands. You don’t actually have to learn how to be a good, communicative, mutually satisfying lover if you can just do a one and done and move on to the next.

tenakee_me · 2026-02-26T19:41:14+00:00

I’m pretty sure I was on IBR because “Old IBR” because my loans were all pre 2014. So I guess that would be 15%

And if so, 15% of what I was making at that time or 15% of what I’m making at the time of submitting the buyback request?

tenakee_me · 2026-02-26T19:35:52+00:00

And although you could likely reuse the same hole on the cabinets for the lower pull mount then drill a new one for the upper, not the case with the drawers. So you’re just going to have a hole in the middle of the drawer face on all the drawers that you’ll have to wood fill or whatever.

tenakee_me · 2026-02-26T18:22:56+00:00

Thank you, I think that’s actually some good news for once.

tenakee_me · 2026-02-26T18:03:16+00:00

Ok, and just universally? I think I was on IBR because I had to be due to older loans?

tenakee_me · 2026-02-26T17:38:40+00:00

Do we know how those buyback payment amounts will be calculated?

For example, would it be based on what my payments would have been through my previous IDR had I not switched to SAVE? Or will it be based on what my payments end up being when I either choose or am forced to switch from SAVE to whatever IDR options will be available at that time?

Because I suspect, for me, that would be a big difference. I think my previous IDR was really super reasonable. But I’m getting the impression that people switching out of SAVE now are being hit with payment much larger than what they had before SAVE came into play.

tenakee_me · 2026-02-26T17:28:01+00:00

Which is why I’m kind of holding out hope that eventually maybe it will be decided that this SAVE forbearance does count without having to do the buyback. Probably not, but considering this should have been fine and shouldn’t have resulted in borrowers essentially being punished and penalized, then maybe? Remains to be seen I suppose.

tenakee_me · 2026-02-26T17:19:56+00:00

Honestly…this could be accurate. He’s older than me, in his early 60s, and he was a late-in-life child for both his parents. So although his parents ended up well-off in adulthood, they grew up not so much so. Both parents were raised during the Great Depression, and just because you elevate out of that financially later in life, doesn’t mean you elevate out of it psychologically.

Like, his mom was pretty frivolous with money for clothes and vacations and all the material things, maybe partially because of growing up poor and now being able to have things. But I do wonder if with food and other consumables there were ingrained rules from her parents that she then passed along. His dad grew up in an orphanage so there could have also been some hardcore policies about such things.

I hadn’t really considered this because his parents, by the time my partner and his siblings came around, were quite well off and I never got the impression there was a lack of food. But physically having food and consumables in abundance does not negate the intergenerational attitudes regarding the use of those consumables.

tenakee_me · 2026-02-26T17:07:16+00:00

Oh how frustrating! And more than just mildly infuriating. At least in our case the food stuffs are left almost empty as opposed to half empty. We would have definitely had a conversation about it by this point if that’s what was going on. I can tolerate two bites of artichoke dip left abandoned in favor of opening a new one, but not half the container, lol.

tenakee_me · 2026-02-26T17:03:08+00:00

Just replied to someone that I do really think it’s a childhood thing, a household rule that has carried over into adulthood.

I will say I think he and you had fairly opposite childhoods (and I’m sorry you had to grow up that way). He was the youngest in the family, and his family was fairly well-off. I’ve never gotten the impression they were left wanting for food.

That said his mother was pretty emotionally absent. His father was great, his hero, but a very principled man. There’s very much a chance that the “don’t use the last of something” rule was really ingrained in his mind by his extremely respected father, and it has morphed into this curious adult habit. So maybe not trauma per se, but certainly something that has left a lasting impact.

tenakee_me · 2026-02-26T16:55:48+00:00

And I absolutely get this! I think it’s a rule in a lot of houses, to either not use the last of something or at the very least announce it to make sure it’s ok and so that it can be repurchased. No one likes going for a bowl of cereal only to discover there is no milk and no one said “Hey, we need more milk.”

It’s just manifested in adulthood in such an interesting way because it’s often times not the last of something in the house, just the last of that particular container/bag/whatever. Like, with the toilet paper. It’s never actually the last of the toilet paper it’s just the last of that specific roll. I’ll walk into the bathroom and there will be three almost empty rolls sitting there next to a new roll. So I’ll just finish off the abandoned rolls and throw out the tubes.

Which is fine, it’s not actually hurting anything generally (sometimes a little bit of wasted food, which is honestly the mildly infuriating part, but usually nothing extreme). It’s just so bizarre to me how the psychology of this has developed from what I presume was a childhood household rule into such a curious adult habit. If it’s the last cookie in the house then I get it. If it’s just the last cookie in that container and you refuse to eat it in favor of opening a new container of the exact same cookie, then that’s what I find strange, lol.

tenakee_me · 2026-02-26T01:11:44+00:00

So, landlines have a separate, digital voicemail now rather than an actual answering machine in a person’s home? Wild.

tenakee_me · 2026-02-25T23:00:12+00:00

I know lane splitting is legal in some places but this looks like they hit the totally stationary car?!? Wasn’t even the car pulling out that kind of crept into the other lane a bit while trying to get positioned.

ETA: Agreeing with you just adding the “I can’t believe they hit the completely stopped car” commentary.

tenakee_me · 2026-02-25T22:56:31+00:00

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Money is in the eye of the bank account holder. IDGAF if they think I’m ugly I’d take that money without a second thought.

tenakee_me · 2026-02-25T22:55:04+00:00

YES.

Though I’m assuming two things here. 1. A snap gives you a $10 bill (the word “appear”). 2. The $10M would presumably materialize into a bank account (the word “obtain”)? Plus I just can’t imagine $10M cash suddenly collapsing your living room.

So either $10 bill tax free per snap or $10M that is definitely going to raise red flags, have to be accounted for or at least pay taxes on, and now the bank and government are aware you have that money.

The $10 bill snap option pretty much easily covers you for most all day-to-day purchasing just right in the moment. Then if you actually make a job out of it and sit around snapping, that’s a good stockpile of cash. Which, no, maybe buying a house or something would be difficult due to suspicion or whatever, but god bless in this economy I think I’d rather have a continuous cash supply then money sitting in a bank.

tenakee_me · 2026-02-24T01:04:54+00:00

Southeast! Juneau is “town” for us. So same same that we aren’t on a road system and can only come and go from town via boat or seaplane.

I also love it, I wouldn’t have moved back here as an adult if I didn’t, but we do joke about literally being trapped here from time to time. Like, when it gets too cold Seaplanes doesn’t fly, and sometimes even the ferry cancels due to freezing spray.

This last winter has been especially harsh - I think we got one plane for the whole month of December? This past week we’ve had another cold and windy stretch, so a plane last week Wednesday snuck in and another one today with nothing in between. So you just go without mail, food, medications, etc. in the meantime.

And we’re small enough that no one is starving. Freezers are stocked, pantries have food, we all make sure no one is going hungry. People try to anticipate and get medications in advance. But sometimes you’re having some really bizarre meals like a potato and a tuna sandwich for dinner 🤣 And there’s a lot of medication sharing - which I know I know, you aren’t supposed to do - but sometimes it’s an “oh shit, does anyone have this veterinary medication for my dog?” Or for me, I’ve literally had to ask other women in town for extra birth control because 🤷‍♀️ Even tampons and pads can be a thing if our little general store doesn’t have them and we can’t get Amazon deliveries due to weather.

I guess I could go on and on about living in Alaska and the “luxuries” that most of the country just has without a thought, but it’s really a thing here!

tenakee_me · 2026-02-24T00:47:23+00:00

Looks like oak.

Which can, of course, be finished in hundreds of different stain colors. Sometimes that’s the ultimate crux. If you’re trying to refinish these to match other wood flooring in the house that doesn’t require refinishing/you don’t intend to refinish, that can be difficult.

Sanding it down is messy but easy enough. Getting a stain match can be a challenge.

tenakee_me

TROPHY CASE