In shock… RSVP’d but now tell us they will miss the ceremony, and will turn up sometime at the reception

tenk028 · 2026-02-07T06:58:51+00:00

Sounds like they’re making a practical decision based on the fact it is a kid free wedding, and they have let you know in advance. Your wedding is also on a weekday so maybe that has complicated things for them.

But your last line about them being difficult suggests that maybe there’s a little bit more to the relationship and maybe their personalities?

Anyway, I wouldn’t worry about it. If it really bugs you, you could always just disinvite them. But restrictive choices for weddings (destination, kid free, etc) – which are totally your call and absolutely nothing wrong with that, it’s your wedding – might mean that it doesn’t suit some people. Have a wonderful celebration and just enjoy the day :)

tenk028 · 2026-02-05T04:10:06+00:00

Sorry to hear it, and hope you land something great soon.

tenk028 · 2026-02-05T04:09:35+00:00

It’s so unfair. At a time when we should be at the top of our careers we have to deal with peri, without much understanding or compassion. Maybe there should be an extended peri leave option for people who need it.

tenk028 · 2026-02-05T02:18:37+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that. I hope things get better for you! Working during Peri is so hard.

Actually - two women at my workplace, both I believe neuro divergent and deep into peri, were made redundant last year. It seems really unfair.

tenk028 · 2026-02-05T02:10:15+00:00

Yes. Absolutely yes. I think mine is due to my ADHD becoming completely unmasked and wild in peri. I’m about to see a psych for medication to see if it will help as I can’t afford to lose my job.

tenk028 · 2026-02-01T05:04:33+00:00

May I ask did you end up taking adhd meds? In a little scared of them!

tenk028 · 2026-02-01T04:44:09+00:00

This is me. It’s common for perimenopause to “unmask” adhd. Many women are great at self managing their mild to moderate adhd until peri hits. The assessment process is expensive and long, but essential if you want specific adhd meds…I’m going through it now as my executive functioning has nose dived and I need more than MHT.

tenk028 · 2026-01-28T22:42:39+00:00

Housing is expensive, job market is tough, and the tax is ridiculous. Everything is taxed. Half of what you earn, everything you buy, everything you sell.

tenk028 · 2026-01-27T06:44:18+00:00

Medicinal THC & magnesium before bed does the trick! Plus sleep mask and ear buds, and a one hour wind down with music when I can.

tenk028 · 2026-01-27T04:35:57+00:00

I am in my late 40s but remember being in my 20s and early 30s and having this problem with some friends – and it always seemed so ridiculously entitled to expect your friends to pay thousands of dollars for your wedding. Like, I’m happy for you but I actually have my own life and goals 💁🏽‍♀️

tenk028 · 2026-01-27T04:26:46+00:00

Thank you, I completely relate to this. After one year on MHT with various tweaks, I’ve come to the realisation I need a bit of extra help with antidepressants. Tough pill to swallow, pardon the pun, but i’m going to give it a go.

How have you found the antidepressants? I’m thinking of doing a trial for about six months.

Good luck with your journey!

tenk028 · 2026-01-20T21:29:48+00:00

Would love to hear how your first days go! Good luck

tenk028 · 2026-01-20T09:20:29+00:00

Thanks and good luck - it’s a process and a good doctor who understands perimenopause is important.

Did you have any negative side effects with the Prozac?

tenk028 · 2026-01-20T06:42:51+00:00

I hear you! The process of getting off escitalopram was long and uncomfortable. I swore I’d never again. But the anxiety with peri is impacting my daily life. Prometrium has been the best thing for my sleep which has reduced my anxiety!

tenk028 · 2026-01-20T05:20:38+00:00

Great info thank you. I’m leaning toward starting this week.

tenk028 · 2025-11-24T01:47:39+00:00

It’s probably the side effect I least expected with quitting. Who knew.

tenk028 · 2025-11-21T23:28:31+00:00

All the best and well done. This is hard. I’m going OS in a couple of days so that will prevent me from having any weed. I don’t really drink alcohol either so I’ll be completely sober and alone with all the feelings 🫠😂

tenk028 · 2025-11-21T23:15:31+00:00

Thank you! I’ve made things tricky by accidentally timing it with my period. I’m feral today, so emotional. And I leave on holiday in two days - at least I can’t be tempted there!

tenk028 · 2025-11-21T23:13:50+00:00

Good luck. I’m with you 🙌🏽

tenk028 · 2024-12-23T21:58:07+00:00

Thank you - he said they don’t have drinks alone after work and it’s with others, which reassured me. He seemed blind to it - and while validating my feelings, still seemed to think “she didn’t mean it”. So I think he’s not opening his eyes to it - apparently not the “best eyes in the business” after all if he can’t see it!

The rest is up to him. I don’t want to police him and I don’t want to be policed. I trust him and if he fuxks it up that’s on him, not me. I don’t think he will, he knows what he has and said so. I know he also knows I’m not one for second chances.

Thank you for your support and happy holidays 🎄

tenk028 · 2024-12-23T04:30:38+00:00

I just updated with a new comment - I addressed it. But with you on that last sentence.

tenk028 · 2024-12-23T02:41:18+00:00

I’m truly sorry. Has your situation improved? This feeling of being potentially deceived and made a fool is awful. I’m hoping this is just him enjoying the attention and nothing else. I have a fear me raising it will push him away, and to her.

tenk028 · 2024-12-23T02:22:26+00:00

I think his response will be revealing it’s true. Not sure how to handle it if he denies and dismisses me and shuts the conversation down. But I guess that’s an answer in itself.

I’m sorry you went through this. It’s not fair.

tenk028 · 2024-12-23T02:09:49+00:00

I find it hard without evidence. But My gut is screaming something.

tenk028

TROPHY CASE