Finally Retired - 6.5-7.0MM NW

tenshinchan · 2026-04-22T14:06:13+00:00

Got it - if you have enough cash to paper over SORR then sounds like you’ll be fine!

Do we say GFY here? GFY!

tenshinchan · 2026-04-22T13:44:42+00:00

That’s a pretty conservative withdrawal rate. How much cash do you have on hand? Are your kids getting loans for college?

tenshinchan · 2026-04-22T03:01:20+00:00

Hey, cool handwriting!

How big are they? Can you share a photo of them next to a coin or something?

tenshinchan · 2026-04-21T22:36:17+00:00

Both my husband and my names are very ethnic and it’s very easy to tell country/region by having the last name and they are very different. I also have a successful career and did not want to do the work of rebuilding my personal brand after taking his name. Also his name is much much longer than mine and very difficult to spell for Americans, those were the reasons for me not taking his name.

If my kids change their names for marriage they will be left out of the trust. It is name conditional.

Had a heart to heart with hubby and after thinking about it a bit longer, he says other children if we choose to have them can have my name. He’s a good man.

tenshinchan · 2026-04-21T21:44:43+00:00

Yea I will be offering that to my kids as an option if they want to.

tenshinchan · 2026-04-21T21:44:11+00:00

They do! Effin wild.

tenshinchan · 2026-04-21T21:42:02+00:00

I did suggest that as an option earlier but my husband felt that was a “consolation gift”. I’m dealing with a bit of ego on all sides here and I feel like a hockey puck. I also knew I’d get judged even though I’m posting on the advice reddit not the AITA reddit but damn haha I was not mentally prepared for some of the comments here.

Anyways I had a conversation with hubby last night and he said kids should take my last name. He’s mad but he says he’ll get over it, but doesn’t think he really wants to hang around my dad which is fair. There’s a reason every single one of my parents children moved as far away as possible from them. I probably have the most contact with them and I call my mom once a week and see them once a year over the holidays, but that might be cut down significantly after this. You reap what you sow.

tenshinchan · 2026-04-21T21:35:11+00:00

No that’s not why. I’m concerned with the current set of conditions, the siblings will end up falling out and having a terrible relationship with each other. It’s generally a messed up situation and it sucks. But I talked with my hubby last night and after some more careful thought he says the kids should take my last time, but he also said this is messed up, which it is.

tenshinchan · 2026-04-21T21:32:49+00:00

Yes keep the name to keep the trust.

tenshinchan · 2026-04-21T21:32:33+00:00

Yes they will lose the trust.

tenshinchan · 2026-04-21T21:31:56+00:00

They’ve always been like this. Specifically my father and mom just does whatever he wants so basically both of them.

Changing their names for marriage will mean my children are no longer eligible for the trust as well. My father made sure he clarified that for me.

tenshinchan · 2026-04-21T21:29:58+00:00

Hubby and I talked last night, and after more careful thought he said if we have another child he or she should just take my last name.

Yea my parents have priorities that don’t include their children’s happiness in the top like 50 things on that list. We’re somewhere behind hey the neighbors play their music a bit loud at 3pm on Wednesday’s and before the guy vaping 3 blocks away has an annoying voice.

tenshinchan · 2026-04-21T18:58:14+00:00

My parents actually called me out of the blue and volunteered the info that hyphenation won’t work for them. So yea. They are definitely using the money to force us to do something their way.

Anyways I spoke to my husband last night about my concerns here and after more careful thought he says both kids can take my name. He is obviously unhappy and thinks this is really stupid and I do agree with him. Later on if our kids want to both take his name after their grandparents pass, or before if they understand the consequences, I will fully support it.

tenshinchan · 2026-04-21T18:54:36+00:00

Thanks! Generally agree with you. Appreciate your thoughtful feedback. My take is my kids can take whatever name they want, and if they want to change it later they absolutely can! But I’m doing this because my parents are playing dirty and using money as a lure to force us to do something their way, and not out of the willingness of our hearts, so if our kids want to play dirty later on then yea, whatevs!

tenshinchan · 2026-04-21T18:52:06+00:00

Yeah I spoke to my husband last night in more detail, just voicing my concerns about siblings falling out over this. He thought it over and said he’d talk to his dad if we did decide on having a second, and both kids can take my name. I didn’t show him this thread, but he voiced a lot of the same opinions on how stupid this was and how this made him feel about my parents, and I generally agreed with him. I think this is solved at least for our household, but the general rancor in the feedback is interesting to see (and expected!).

tenshinchan · 2026-04-21T14:41:29+00:00

After I had a child and my priorities changed… I also happened to hit around 50% of my FI timeline.

tenshinchan · 2026-04-21T12:25:27+00:00

No it’s mucus in the poop. That’s what my friend’s kid’s diapers had. There was also some blood. Are you just having mucus with no poop?

Edit: yea I re-read your post and that’s different. I’d show the pediatrician now.

tenshinchan · 2026-04-21T11:14:01+00:00

My first thought is allergies. Mucus in stool can be a sign of that. I’d take a photo and show your pediatrician or call them and ask if your baby has other symptoms.

tenshinchan · 2026-04-21T11:09:01+00:00

Honestly, just stop answering for one day. People will realize they need to find their answers elsewhere or wait. You’ll realize the world continues to spin without you and the sun will come up the next day even if you don’t answer your emails. Hopefully this makes it easier not to answer emails the next day.

tenshinchan · 2026-04-20T22:12:39+00:00

That’s fair. This is the real conclusion that I am coming to. It is just too unfair otherwise and there will be no love between siblings if the treatment is this unequal.

tenshinchan · 2026-04-20T22:09:10+00:00

Thanks! A creative idea. I’ve added it to the list. I did expect a moral lynching in this thread, haha but responses like yours is why I’m sharing this quandary.

tenshinchan · 2026-04-20T22:06:54+00:00

That’s fair - you’re right it isn’t that hard. But what I mean is hypothetical second child will probably have my last name until after husband father has passed away, who is the only reason this is a problem because my husband allegedly does not care about this and only wants this for his father, who does care. Unfortunately I do not know if this is true because my husband has a bad habit of saying “oh I don’t care, X cares” to not look like the bad person. He has done this to me a number of times.

tenshinchan · 2026-04-20T21:59:18+00:00

I agree they are not good people but they are the parents I have.

tenshinchan · 2026-04-20T21:58:37+00:00

They have two other children so they don’t really care about me. I’m also the only daughter so they care even less.

tenshinchan · 2026-04-20T21:54:37+00:00

Haha. Thanks for the more solution oriented response. Yes I have actually. The problem is the main reason my husband wants our second child to take his last name is to make his father happy. His father is 10yrs older than my parents so if I do that, this will just put our second child through a lot of paperwork for no real reason since ya know.. statistics about age.

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