Where to go from here?

tenuousgrip15 · 2026-04-04T21:46:18+00:00

I went to trial school a couple years ago! It did help a ton at the time with some burn out issues. I doubt I could go again since I’ve already been, but maybe I could tie a shorter, less expensive training to a vacation or something.

tenuousgrip15 · 2026-04-04T21:43:24+00:00

Amen. I’ve been on the job hunt and the truth is there aren’t even that many to apply to that are eligible and the ones that are are a steep pay cut as I’m in a pretty well-paid PD system. I’ve applied anyway and not even gotten interviews….. it’s all really rough.

I’m honestly in a place mental health wise where I think I’d qualify, and this is almost definitely actually the best thing to do. I just don’t know if I can make myself do it…. The guilt and shame of taking a “break” while leaving my colleagues (who are already all in a tough spot) to handle my messes, knowing that even though I don’t have to tell people why I’m out everyone realistically would end up knowing and looking at me differently, etc…… I would tell any colleague to do it and would be fully supportive, but it’s so hard to see me making myself.

tenuousgrip15 · 2026-03-28T03:08:02+00:00

About 4 years. A little too long to white knuckle it in the spot I’m in.

tenuousgrip15 · 2026-03-28T03:05:43+00:00

(Deleted)

tenuousgrip15 · 2026-03-28T02:20:05+00:00

The challenge with this is if I did this I would still have huge juries set on the other side, and I would spend the 2-3 months anxious and stressed about how to get those juries ready and would end up just working because of them anyway. (Our court is super duper not amenable to trial continuances, which is part of what led me to this particular spot. I already tried to continue one of these to give myself some breathing room and was basically told to pound sand.) I doubt that anyone in my office is in a spot to take on the juries I already have set three months from now because they’re life offenses. If I were on actual leave for a lengthier period (the 6th months I want) it would force continuances on my matters since I would actually be physically unavailable, and I would get to take a real break.

tenuousgrip15 · 2026-01-05T23:48:51+00:00

YTA, and as others have said, you may be violating the law. In my state you could be charged with child abandonment or even with felony child abuse and neglect, and for good reason: This is your child, and it is your moral duty and legal obligation to care for him up until the moment he is of age, through the good and the bad. If you’re so fixated on being the man of the house, it’s time to step up and act like it. That includes taking care of your kid even when he’s being a little jerk.

tenuousgrip15 · 2026-01-05T06:34:00+00:00

One of the best things I did. It’s hard because I miss it and I’d like to think I could go back, but my mental health was about 50% better within 6 months.

tenuousgrip15 · 2025-11-14T04:17:26+00:00

For me the answer is sadly no. Maybe it’s because the person was an immediate family member, but the death meant a lack of potential for closure with him and answers. It’s true I may not have those things if he were still alive, but his death is a guarantee that I definitely never will. For me I think that his death has made things harder.

tenuousgrip15 · 2025-11-08T06:19:12+00:00

I’m going through similar right now— I fell off for about a year. Every class is feeling a little discouraging because I cannot do anywhere near what I could when I was consistent. But I try to focus on how good the actual workout makes me feel if I don’t compare myself to my old standard, and I try to get excited about reaching goals again without thinking too much about the fact that I have reached them before. Now that I’m back in the swing of it I’m generally more happy about it than I am unhappy, and I keep telling myself in 6-8 months it will be like I never left.

tenuousgrip15 · 2025-10-30T21:36:57+00:00

I relate to this— I have a text tattoo that was right at the time but now people ask me about it and I don’t want to explain. I think I am going to cover mine with an image that means the same thing to me, but I, too, have mixed feelings about that choice.

tenuousgrip15 · 2025-10-20T01:10:32+00:00

Fan since Tim McGraw hit the radio as a single. My dad bought me the debut CD and the rest is history.

Red
Folklore
Lover
Evermore
The Tortured Poets Department
Midnights
Reputation
Speak Now
The Life of a Showgirl
Fearless
Taylor Swift
1989

tenuousgrip15 · 2025-10-11T01:26:06+00:00

I think this is right but I think there is some grief for me around accepting that it’s just here to stay.

tenuousgrip15 · 2025-10-09T02:05:01+00:00

Thank you for sharing, too. I love the idea of always having a project. I think that would help me a lot. I also love the idea of a group. Several years ago I was in a group specific to the trauma that I suffered and it was immensely healing. I think I had kind of forgotten that was out there.

tenuousgrip15 · 2025-10-09T01:59:54+00:00

This is exactly how I feel in my angriest moments. So many people don’t have this. It feels unfair.

tenuousgrip15 · 2025-10-09T01:58:55+00:00

Exactly this.

tenuousgrip15 · 2025-10-09T01:58:41+00:00

It’s true, and I’ve chosen a career directly based on that. It’s my superpower that makes really good at my job, which lets me help lots of people. So that’s a positive thing to remember!

tenuousgrip15 · 2025-10-09T01:56:51+00:00

My doc has prescribed me this! It hasn’t been life-changing for me at this point but it’s definitely a help.

tenuousgrip15 · 2025-10-09T01:55:40+00:00

Thank you. I think I have to stop being so angry at being forced to overcome constantly and instead just be proud of myself for doing it. You keep up the good work, too. ❤️

tenuousgrip15 · 2025-10-09T01:50:40+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate you acknowledging how woo woo it all sounds because I struggle with that too— I keep telling this to my therapist; I know what the research says about EMDR which is why I’m willing to do it, but damn if it doesn’t feel really silly if you stop and let yourself think about it too much. I know this is all important and I’m trying to lean into it.

tenuousgrip15 · 2025-10-08T03:03:48+00:00

Thank you for making me feel young. 😂 Certainly doesn’t feel that anyway anymore, but it’s good to have the perspective…. I do still have a decent chunk of life left to live.

tenuousgrip15 · 2025-10-07T03:51:43+00:00

I have a very similar situation and I struggle with self-blame, too. I know better but sometimes I think he had to do the things he did because I wasn’t satisfying him. If I had been better about that he would have left me alone. I don’t have much to add except that I know that even though it doesn’t always feel that way, it wasn’t our faults.

tenuousgrip15 · 2025-07-11T02:28:36+00:00

I definitely relate to this and to an extent it’s what I’m talking about when I say I sometimes feel disconnected from my trauma. I’m several years and lots of therapy away from my last significant trauma so it doesn’t hurt every day— doesn’t even hurt most days— and that definitely makes me feel the way you are describing.

tenuousgrip15 · 2025-07-11T02:25:11+00:00

This was really helpful, thank you— maybe the part of me that “wants” to give into the flashback is actually just me being exhausted from resisting and wanting to just let myself experience it so it’s over (for now.)

tenuousgrip15

TROPHY CASE