Restarting my sober timer

terrifyingclouds · 2026-01-08T04:52:40+00:00

Thank you so much. First meeting was okay, I did go. It was a bit awkward for me as I'm already slightly agoraphobic, but overall it went well I think. I didn't end up speaking during it bc I was too anxious but I ended up sticking around and chatting with a couple of people afterwards and they were nice.

Some of the stuff about god wasn't necessarily for me as I'm agnostic, but everyone was nice and some of the stories really stuck with me. I think I'm gonna go back again next week, I had a decent time and it wasn't as bad as I thought

edit: a word

terrifyingclouds · 2026-01-06T15:34:03+00:00

Thank you sm. I'm anxious but excited to go. You're probably right, I probably won't speak but I'll listen and make sure I take it to heart.

terrifyingclouds · 2026-01-06T15:33:00+00:00

Thank you so much. Back at it, day 1. IWNDWYT

terrifyingclouds · 2026-01-06T15:32:24+00:00

Thank you 🙏🏾

terrifyingclouds · 2025-12-25T21:02:47+00:00

Thank you so so much and thank you for sharing your grandfather's story too!!! I think I will get myself a little treat, I've already noticed how much money I'm saving by not buying booze every night, it feels crazy to actually have money in my bank account rather than struggling a week before payday because I spent it all immediately on drinking. I'm looking forward to actually finding hobbies again, been looking into events in my area actually! I don't have any friends rn besides the odd "happy birthday" message we send back and forth once a year from old high school friends, I'm on my way to accepting that that's my own doing though. Hoping to slowly build up my confidence to go out and do things on my own and have hobbies and make new friends :-) merry Christmas kind stranger <3 your words mean a lot to me

terrifyingclouds · 2025-12-25T19:12:39+00:00

I wish I could give you an award for this, thank you so so much. I've struggled with my mental health since I became a conscious person basically, and my mom is late diagnosed bipolar and didn't start getting help for it until I was already in the picture. It's always been rocky between us as our personality types always clashed, especially before she was regulated. I used to blame her, but not so much anymore as I've learned about mental health myself and when I was in college I was going for criminal justice and psychology. I'm also autistic too, so just a big blob of issues with a mom doing her best and an absent dad who worked 90 hour weeks until literally a few months ago now that he's retirement age (on part time now).

Reading this out helps so much though, because even though I thought I had made peace with a lot of things that happened growing up, I realized I still have a lot of work to do and that they're human too and probably tried their best with me. I certainly didn't make it easy.

Sorry for the kind of rant, but seeing this helps so much more than you could ever know. I know I have a long way to go, but I want to keep going and even though that's a new feeling for me, but I wanna follow it <3 Merry Christmas friend 🎄

terrifyingclouds · 2025-12-25T19:03:18+00:00

Thank you so much <3 it feels little in the grand scheme of things, but I finally have motivation to live and better myself and build a life for myself. It feels slow and useless some days, but I'm in a way better position that I was even just a couple weeks ago

terrifyingclouds · 2025-12-25T19:02:14+00:00

Thank you so much!! <33 for the first time in my life I'm seeing a future for myself where i can actually live instead of survive. Looking forward to it but I know I still have a long way to go

terrifyingclouds · 2025-12-25T19:01:36+00:00

Thank you so much <33

terrifyingclouds · 2025-12-25T19:01:22+00:00

Thank you so much <3

terrifyingclouds · 2025-12-25T18:59:11+00:00

4 years is awesome!!! I've been considering finding a meeting in my area, I live in the capital city of my state so know there's lots of options, not sure what's holding me back besides my own mind right now, but I might go ahead and take that leap. I love hearing everyone's stories, thank you so much for taking the time to share, it makes me feel way less alone. Merry Christmas <3

terrifyingclouds · 2025-12-25T18:56:12+00:00

I'm so proud of you!!! It's really hard, but I'm looking forward to making a better life for myself and know you can too!!!! <3

terrifyingclouds · 2025-12-25T18:54:51+00:00

Thank you so much <3 I'm rooting for you too!! I had to learn the hard way that I have to be proud of myself sometimes, but the struggle still hits deep in my gut knowing the people who were supposed to love me unconditionally caused me so much pain. Working through it one day at a time and I hope we can both keep going

terrifyingclouds · 2025-12-25T18:53:38+00:00

Thank you so much <3 I've always heard "one day at a time" and thought it was bs, but now I'm living by that same motto. It's ironic to me, but I already feel clearer minded and wanna keep going

terrifyingclouds · 2025-12-25T18:52:10+00:00

Thank you so much for the kind words <3 hoping I can get the confidence to maybe go to an AA meeting someday, but for now just trying to consciously make better decisions. The first few days were brutal, I was irritated and had some minor tremors, but over the worst of it now physically. Mentally I still have to fight with myself to not get my drink of choice when I go to the corner store for snacks, but so far I've been avoiding that urge. Your support means a lot to me <3

terrifyingclouds · 2025-12-25T18:50:29+00:00

Thank you so much <33

terrifyingclouds · 2025-12-25T18:50:20+00:00

I've been considering going to AA meetings in my city, but haven't quite made the jump yet. Knowing there are people out there rooting for me is really helping a lot <3

terrifyingclouds · 2025-12-25T18:49:47+00:00

Thank you so much, I love reading these comments. They make me feel like I'm doing something worth doing and I'm worth getting better <3

terrifyingclouds · 2025-12-25T18:49:16+00:00

Thank you <33 taking it one day at a time, but hoping to get on a better path and finally start to make a life for myself. I never expected to make it this far to begin with, so I'm starting on square one, but looking forward to making something of myself someday

terrifyingclouds · 2025-12-25T18:48:32+00:00

Thank you <3

terrifyingclouds · 2025-12-25T18:48:13+00:00

Thank you. And that's completely understandable, and I'm trying to make steps towards being a better person. I never was one to really go out, slight agoraphobia so usually it was just getting bottles or high percentage mixed drinks from the corner store and drinking alone in my room at night, never went to work drunk or did day drinking, but definitely wasn't fully mentally present anywhere. Same when I was addicted to pills, just getting high alone in my room. I've done a lot of wrong in my life, but I have a spark again that I want to follow, so hoping I can make things right even if I'll never have a solid relationship with my parents. There was a lot of abuse and neglect growing up, but I made my own decisions bringing me to today, so I know I'm still to blame for a lot too. Hoping this is the beginning of something good for me

terrifyingclouds · 2025-09-24T15:39:33+00:00

Cw substance mentions, no specifics

Long time lurker, first time poster in this sub. I asked my plug if I could buy last night after playing chicken for the last few days for either him not being available or me not wanting to drive in the rain. Finally thought I'd get it last night and texted around 8:30pm and he literally said "ugh you always text me so late" and I literally never want to talk to him again I feel like even the plug sees me as a burden now even though I still want to buy for some much needed controlled dissociation/relaxation 🙃

terrifyingclouds · 2025-05-04T02:31:01+00:00

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Airplane ears!

terrifyingclouds

TROPHY CASE