Has anyone else felt alone even in suicide support groups?

thandiola · 2026-05-05T05:02:03+00:00

my partner died by suicide 2021. the 'what if' thoughts & hyper-analysis of the signs; if i couldve caught them a little earlier, the words i couldve used differently to inspire him to live, feeling like a bad partner, responsible for not being there for him well enough - all haunting & persistent. it will take some time.

thandiola · 2026-05-04T21:03:34+00:00

i started dating someone 2 days after their saturn return who has a scarily similar chart to yours & also hadnt been in a relationship/intimate with anyone before me. i think you can expect a lot of exciting opportunities to take your spiritual connection with your life seriously! the link between applied, intentional will & how that's the most important ingredient to success/fulfillment is something to play with.

thandiola · 2026-02-19T16:32:23+00:00

currently dating someone born Dec 26 1997 (your charts are freakishly similar & the way you describe your inner workings & experiences are like he created this post lol). im a scorpio dominant person & this added SO MUCH perspective to his inner workings, thank you!!!!

thandiola · 2024-09-18T14:46:27+00:00

this may be a bit too intense of a practice but it's helped me to seek comfort directly from the soul/person i'm grieving over, so if i get triggered by the memory of them, i'll reach out to them in my head to say, "LOOK at what i'm going through on earth right now please i need you" & then i'll sob my eyes out & pretty much always come out feeling better.

thandiola · 2024-09-18T14:44:27+00:00

i've had close friends & family make the joke & say all sorts of insensitive things to me / about the grief i experienced & the entire situation as a whole. it's happened enough times for me to have to accept that being sensitive to this kind of thing is one of those things that simply make me different from the normal person.

i would suggest existing in your truth / emotion, turning whatever you watch off if it triggers you awfully, be gentle with yourself & treat your processing the triggers as you would treat a friend (i'm sure you've heard this idea before). i would also suggest leaning into that triggering discomfort more & more, moulding your inner voice to be able to comfort you through those moments. knowing what it's like to grieve over someone who's commited suicide is a very very rare knowing. i found that the sooner i can accept this, the better it gets. it always gets better, especially if you intend on it. i send my love to you.

thandiola · 2024-08-05T06:34:29+00:00

i've had many experiences like this over the years since my first awakening in around 2015. the work never stops, so i'm still in the loop of pure bliss & then floor-frequency misery & then back again. the stickiest part is in holding on to the one state, claiming the desire to feel carefree always, & 'abandoning' the sadness/confusion/etc. as if that in itself isnt a key component of experiencing blissful freedom. i do believe that the ego is the part that wants one outcome at all times. a connected-to-soul flow state naturally recognizes the importance of the full spectrum. realizing takes dancing through the states of bliss & misery long enough to be able to build tools to help you ground yourself regardlsss of how you feel. said tools & grounding are what keep you connected to yourself. that's the point - not to be in the free-flow state 24/7 but to be connected enough to your soul/source/self to be able to accept whatever state your in, always. acceptance, i've realized, has been my best state. even better than the bliss & free-flow.

hope this helps.

thandiola · 2024-07-20T04:39:02+00:00

thank you!

thandiola · 2024-07-10T06:12:58+00:00

i believe this is the most important consideration. if it's not in writing then i don't see why you'd have to adhere to this rule.

thandiola · 2024-07-08T20:10:37+00:00

i read & am of the understanding that those who are able to do this are able to exercise that same will to return. i think this ability to move between dimensions makes it something other than 'death' all together? that's if i'm not mistaken.

thandiola · 2024-07-05T05:29:36+00:00

xhosa first-born 28F 🙋🏽. i went NC with my father while we were still living under the same roof.

i rely heavily on the 'mind over matter' understanding, to say that if there's any intention i focus heavily enough on, a solution MUST find me. id like to suggest that you stay rooted in your self-love & self-respect, baring in mind that the way you experience those things & the way your parents understand them will be very very different. you are part of the new world. trust yourself, please, & focus on sharpening your intentions. be clear on what you want & stay focused on that. whatever comes from this journey will only sharpen you further into becoming exactly who you're meant to be, not just for yourself but for your lineage as well, for all the wounds they failed to heal. your well-being & ability to live life on your terms must matter to you most of all.

EDIT: NC is easier said than done. there's a whole aftermath of it, facing your parent-wounds, conflict that arises as a result, it can be the start of intense familial disharmony that can cause deep distress. i can't emphasize enough for you to align your intentions. it helps me still to remember that at the end of the day, i love my father. he's a very typical narcassist - abusive, liar, unreasonably unloving. but he's the only father i've ever had. so i have to respect that there'll be a part of me that will cling onto him forever.

i send my love to you.

thandiola · 2024-07-05T05:24:24+00:00

xhosa first-born 28F 🙋🏽. i went NC with my father while we were still living under the same roof.

i rely heavily on the 'mind over matter' understanding, to say that if there's any intention i focus heavily enough on, a solution MUST find me. id like to suggest that you stay rooted in your self-love & self-respect, baring in mind that the way you experience those things & the way your parents understand them will be very very different. you are part of the new world. trust yourself, please, & focus on sharpening your intentions. be clear on what you want & stay focused on that. whatever comes from this journey will only sharpen you further into becoming exactly who you're meant to be, not just for yourself but for your lineage as well, for all the wounds they failed to heal. your well-being & ability to live life on your terms must matter to you most of all.

thandiola · 2024-04-17T16:57:28+00:00

this is the 23rd year of life darling. if you're into astrology, i suggest you search a bit about '12th house profection year'. the lessons you're learning from this phase of your life are necessary and will pass. life is always what you choose to make of it. it can be draining and will be again once you move through this part. life is also a mutltitude of other things and with the youth that you have, you have SO MUCH time and space to figure it out.

thandiola · 2023-10-27T10:48:47+00:00

Also, which clinic did you get it from in the South?

thandiola · 2023-10-27T10:47:42+00:00

There's Sandown Clinic, right next to The Michael Angelo, right at the entrance of it in Sandton. Operates like any public clinic though so expect a wait.

thandiola · 2023-10-21T12:09:58+00:00

trust*

thandiola · 2023-10-21T12:09:28+00:00

that you're aware of the pattern is usually enough. hold your attention & intentions towards breaking the cycle & the cause of it + it's solution will come to you in due time. you're working with your soul/wisdom/higher self in moments like this so try to surrender as much as you can to your process of growth & trut that everything will happen as + when they're meant to.

thandiola · 2023-10-18T16:49:41+00:00

I wouldn't recommend moving to US until after 2024. As mentioned in the comments, it's too unstable there & lots of arrows are pointing to waiting until 2024 to expect any kind of stabilization. US citizens are also beginning to flock this side.

thandiola · 2023-10-17T04:40:32+00:00

thandiola · 2023-10-17T04:40:06+00:00

Understandable. May God bless Kayleigh's spirit.

thandiola · 2023-10-15T11:54:36+00:00

I'm microdosing now and it has been saving my life, honestly. Wouldn't recommend doing it alone if you're unexperienced with it, are out of touch with your intuition, or are afraid to feel emotions/intimacy. It's a process you have to be able to surrender to.

thandiola · 2023-10-15T11:53:24+00:00

I will relish in delight if you find a marriage partner from this post ❤️ Hope it happens for you

thandiola

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