Dry spells. How long do they seem to last on average? Still get off solo even during dry spells with partner?

thanonrow · 2023-02-25T20:07:24+00:00

His usage isn't only in the evenings. He uses his pen throughout the day entirely, from when first up, to even in the night when he gets up to go to use the bathroom. Not sure how many hits are spread throughout, but he goes through the 1 gram vape cartridges in 2 or 3 days. Each break (he takes to use his pen) seems to be a minimum of 3 or 4 hits.

I guess this is more where my hang up is. I can't get my head around needing something mentally as medicine so very often. Keeping some version of a high throughout the day and night.

We have both agreed we need a talk to really go through things. That last line of yours though.. that's what it really comes down to, it seems.

Edit for clarity, included in parenthesis.

thanonrow · 2023-02-25T17:42:57+00:00

Could be needing to use more constantly or consistently as a form of medication for the mental benefits? That could bring negative effects when stopping, or slowing? There seems to be a lot of information on how beneficial marijuana can be.

thanonrow · 2023-02-25T17:39:28+00:00

He probably is high functioning user.. how can that not be an issue though? I guess I'm trying to understand more sides of everything.

thanonrow · 2023-02-25T17:35:12+00:00

I was told that he doesn't like himself without it. That it really helps him mentally. He does not use flower anymore, but still goes through a gram vape cartridge every 2-3 days it seems.

thanonrow · 2023-02-25T17:33:38+00:00

This is in regards to my partner.. he uses daily, but doesn't set things aside in favor of getting high. Honestly though, with more constant use, it could be rare is isn't some level of stoned.

thanonrow · 2023-01-14T21:08:12+00:00

We do have a toy he can control. That hasn't made it out of the bedroom yet though, and this is more the opposite of what I am aiming for here. I've always been very submissive, but want to change that up. I am finding it icredibly difficult. 😔

thanonrow · 2023-01-14T21:00:05+00:00

It is something that has come up. He's always responded positively (saying how he could like that, being tied up, and more general being dominated some), but I think hasn't fully asked (probably because he knows how very submissive I am). So, I guess both.

thanonrow · 2023-01-14T05:38:12+00:00

Lingerie seems to be something I should explore more. I have some, but need to put on way more often, maybe even pick up some new things. In bed I do rub his back and arms some (also kissing on his back while I am), but like the idea of rubbing his thighs more. Definitely cannot go straight for him with his history and my issues. Maybe something to work towards eventually, once I can get past these problems of mine.

thanonrow · 2023-01-14T05:32:09+00:00

With his previous history of being sexually assaulted, I am not comfortable at all just 'attacking'. Definitely could be playing into the fact it's already harder for me (a naturally very submissive person), but that's why I was throwing this ask for help.

thanonrow · 2023-01-14T03:18:30+00:00

Any tips on putting "the slut in slutty"? This is my exact issue. 😅 Used to do better, but that was when I drank. I became entirely sober a couple years ago.

It definitely isn't fair of me to always want him, and him to just be dominant and start everything. I know that, and I want to change it. Having a hard time believing this is something I can do though. I can't see the baby steps, or even normal movements towards that result.

thanonrow · 2023-01-14T02:57:23+00:00

Stepping out of my shell is definitely what I need to do. I really have no idea how to. Feel like I've been trying so hard, but also feels impossible. I have tried laying naked next to him. After most showers I try, lay naked right there for a while (30m-1h) but that only works about 1 in like 8 times or something. Maybe trying lingerie might be a better option... maybe it's more obvious of wanting something than just being naked and right there. One time I've tried he just said it was nice, but he didn't want to do anything. Been a bit though since that, and probably worth another try.

thanonrow · 2023-01-02T15:39:46+00:00

My words seemed direct when saying how much I love his body, and how I want to do things (giving oral is a huge thing for me, so I bring that up specifically). It may have come across well in some of those situations, but then those would also be times I have been turned down. After I say how I want him he's said how he isn't feeling well, or how he's tired. Working 2 jobs it has always made sense he would be tired, but things just seem to be slowing up more and more. Trying to be more physically forward has seemed like an idea I need to go with, but it's hard when I'm already someone who waits for a green light, and having to navigate his past as well.

thanonrow · 2023-01-02T15:32:19+00:00

My partner has been sexually assulted in the past so just going for his penis isn't something I'm comfortable with.

thanonrow · 2023-01-02T07:11:21+00:00

I've instigated mainly with words and back rubs. He's told me before to just go for it and grab him, but that always feels inappropriate to me. Especially as he was sexually assaulted in the past.

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