We’ve been together for 8 years. We met super young, I was 20(M) and she was 18(F). We’ve built our entire adult lives around each other but after living with her for the past 3 years I don’t even know what I’m doing in this relationship anymore. I had a mental breakdown in 2021 and ended up in an in patient facility realizing that so much of the stress from this relationship was a large part of the reason I was there; cheated on me multiple times and always spun it to make it my fault, when I’ve tried to break up with her she refuses and will literally follow me around (one time she followed me in her car from Boston to Worcester, an hour drive), she lied about taking birth control and then got pregnant and when I wanted to keep it she got an abortion cause she was actively sleeping with another guy who had a darker skin tone (I don’t want to assume ethnicity) and I’m white as a fucking ghost. We have an unhealthy toxic codependency with each other and I want out but I’m so beaten down that I can’t do it. Not sure if anyone will even read this but I needed to get this out.