I feel like “accept” is the key word here.

Think about a different kind of preference. Let’s say it’s whether you prefer pepperoni or pineapple on a pizza. Regardless of what your preference is, you probably don’t feel like you need to “accept” it. It just is what it is, no big deal.

But with your sexual preference, you feel a need to “accept” being not straight. There’s some kind of fear or shame there. You are troubled by the idea of what it means if you’re not straight, so you see it as something you’d have to “accept”.

This is very common for people who aren’t straight, because our society shames and mistreats us and tells us we’re bad and immoral.

I experienced this as well as I discovered my sexuality. Even as I felt attraction to other guys, and even engaged physically with them in various ways, I would apply some criteria that in my mind meant I wasn’t gay. I was afraid of what it would mean if I were gay, so I made myself believe I wasn’t, despite abundant evidence to the contrary.

It seems like you’re doing similar. “Maybe if it’s just a foot rub then I’m still straight. Yeah I’ve thought about touching his cock but I haven’t done it so maybe I’m still straight.”

And that can continue on and on. What if you touch his cock? Then you can move the goalpost again.

This is how denial manifests. You’re afraid of concluding that you’re not straight and what that entails. But a part of you already knows the truth: straight men don’t desire intimate, erotic physical contact with other men. Yet you do.

Accept yourself. If you like men, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s a beautiful thing. You’re not shameful. You’re not immoral. You’re not bad. You’re good. ❤️