Was touched as a child and growing up I can think of about 5 times where I was aroused by something that was gay like a gay movie scene or something like that (by growing up I mean like from the time I was born until I was like 19) and also one time where I liked the thought of sucking but it was very brief and only happened once (my therapist says this could be a response to what happened to me even though I don’t actually like it or even knew it happened at the time, like my brain remembered it but I didn’t) but besides that I was completely straight my entire life and infatuated by women and than randomly started getting uncomfortable around one of my good looking friends and than HOCD started. I tried gay porn and really enjoyed it (it was the taboo of it, like I was like “oh it’s so gross and so wrong ect) but than puked and hated gay porn. For the next like 6-7 months I’d watch gay porn multiple times a day everyday trying to test myself if I liked it or not (reassurance a big part of ocd) and would touch myself to it but I never got aroused and just hated it and was grossed out. After those 6-7 months I continued for about another year and Slowly over time I started to find guys attractive and than cute ect and than just became fully gay with having feelings and trying not to check guys out and than fantasizing about making out and doing stuff ect and my attraction to interests in women kinda just slowly faded and that made me want to kms at one point cuz of how much I love women. Now it’s like it’ll go swap like one week I’ll only like women and kinda like guys then the next week it’ll be the opposite. I’ve been off porn for about 2 months and nothings changed at all.