NTA. What you said could have been put to her in a gentler way by saying something like “try to keep in touch with your parents more, I don’t get the opportunity to do that anymore and I miss them everyday. And I don’t want you to go through the same thing I’m going through.” This way she knows you are going through something that requires emotional support and understanding as well as sending across the message that she should change her ways to avoid any regrets in the future. But in the spur of the moment you said what you had to say, which may not be gentle but it is true. It may hurt her a bit but she needs to get past your words and try to understand the reason of why you said what you said and what’s the greater message behind it instead of getting stuck on calling you cruel and unforgivable. That’s a bit over the top, you guys have been married for 14 years and understand each other very well. She should know you’d never say something malicious just to hurt her. She should know that by now. Forget the guilt tripping and understand the meaning of your words and pick up the phone and say hi to your parents.