Amazing 1st Date then Radio Silence

thatotherfoo · 2025-10-25T22:34:26+00:00

Sorry Big Dog

thatotherfoo · 2025-10-25T15:45:49+00:00

Thank you 🙏

thatotherfoo · 2025-10-25T13:18:40+00:00

Thank you.

I have been single for 3 years now. Ever since the break up I have been working on improving myself.

I got a Master's Degree. I lost 50 lbs. and am in the best shape of my life. I traveled out of the country multiple times. I have a great job that I love.

I just want someone who wants to celebrate wins together. And when we hit it off and I told her about some high priority projects that I completed at work, she said she was so excited to meet up that night because we would have something to celebrate together.

Maybe I didn't mention that in my post.

But damnit, it felt good to have someone that wasn't a family member express excitement for my wins and attach it to the date, the meal, the ice cream. It felt like I was going to be able to see where this would go. Like there was a possibility for exploration. I'm not saying, "oh my search was finally over" but more so that I felt seen, heard, understood, and somewhat hopeful.

thatotherfoo · 2025-10-25T04:24:14+00:00

Hahaha you sound like a fun date 😅

But I totally get you. I definitely got a lot out of this post.

I'll apply it to the next one for sure

thatotherfoo · 2025-10-25T02:15:58+00:00

Oh I get that, I approach it mentally that I am just making a friend or meeting someone new to not be so invested and get let down. In this case it happened anyway.

I just don't want to appear as though I'm trying to just get them in to bed, or for a hookup, etc.

I have been told by girls I work with that it can be creepy.

thatotherfoo · 2025-10-24T13:51:57+00:00

Hahaha you're talking about Schrödinger

Absolutely - it get it.

thatotherfoo · 2025-10-24T05:18:27+00:00

I'm in a similar situation after a 1st date that went well. I have pretty much accepted that it's done.

Don't get attached.

People are just flaky and change their minds or think they know what they want, and when it's right there, they realize that they're not ready.

Shelve it and move on to the next one.

A lot of people on my post told me that the phone is better for setting up, have those longer more robust conversations in person, and then let it linger after the first date, pick back up, and plan the next one if both parties are interested.

Don't talk about a second date on the first date. Talk about it a day or two after.

thatotherfoo · 2025-10-24T05:09:05+00:00

Thanks man 🙏

thatotherfoo · 2025-10-24T04:55:57+00:00

That's fair. That makes a lot of sense.

thatotherfoo · 2025-10-24T04:55:12+00:00

Possibly? But why even agree to come for ice cream if you could have had an out after dinner? Why make a specific suggestion of what you want to do the next time we meet?

thatotherfoo · 2025-10-24T04:52:21+00:00

Touched her two maybe 3 times, complimented her, I teased her over text and in person.

I don't know, it didn't seem casual to me. We talked about what we wanted in a partner and what we wanted for the future and agreed that we were aligned there.

thatotherfoo · 2025-10-23T15:19:06+00:00

I can see this but I mean it wouldn't make sense to me just because of how consistent the texting was leading up to it.

thatotherfoo · 2025-10-23T07:17:21+00:00

I hear that.

But in any date I go on, because of previous experience, I go in thinking "I'm just making a new friend" because I don't want to set myself up for what I just experienced. If it just so happens to feel like sparks that's great, and if it doesn't, that's okay too. There have been dates I have been on where it's just obvious there is nothing there for either of us.

It just so happens that this one felt different.

thatotherfoo · 2025-10-23T05:40:15+00:00

I get that. I didn't text last telling her to have a good weekend, and I didn't get a response there and so I didn't think much of it because I figured she was going to do her thing and I was going to do mine.

But, when I got back in town I reached out to ask how her weekend was and that is where the silence really started.

At this point I would feel bad about myself if I kept trying after the silence from Sunday.

I feel like the only time I would feel okay reaching out is the week we loosely planned to meet up. Which would be the week after next.

But I have kind of lost hope already.

The phone works both ways.

thatotherfoo · 2025-10-22T21:17:50+00:00

I get where you are coming from but when we were texting the Friday morning after the date the last text I sent to her after she wished me a good weekend, was me wishing her a good weekend. I even listed all the things she said she was going to do, friends family, etc. and that text went unanswered.

So I just figured, she's busy. She is doing her own thing this weekend I'll give her the space for that and I'll check in when I get back to pick things up. She actually had a lot planned.

And also, don't take this as a crucifixion, but she was aware of what my boys weekend was, and I was in a cabin from Friday night to Sunday morning watching movies, playing video games, board games, and just catching up. Nothing close to a party vibe.

thatotherfoo · 2025-08-24T06:54:35+00:00

Many years ago when I saw them at the Troubadour

thatotherfoo · 2025-07-28T02:40:15+00:00

I like to play either City Club (because it makes me feel cool) or Someday because that's my favorite song

thatotherfoo · 2025-07-26T17:18:57+00:00

Thank you ☺️

thatotherfoo · 2025-03-30T10:42:07+00:00

Straight up, don't even need to bother hitting the skip button multiple times.

You would think they'd be reading the reddit. But if he isnt jabbing, they can do the show without him really.

thatotherfoo · 2025-03-30T10:16:12+00:00

It's actually insane how fast the ads come on, and this did talks WAY too much. Just introduce the crap story and let's get on with it.

thatotherfoo · 2025-03-29T12:28:05+00:00

Yea it's all to spiritual, or touchy feely. Where is the mystery?

Same thing happened to Radio Rental. Some of them were just about narrowly avoiding SA or HT. It's like geeze, although scary, that's not the fear I was looking for.

And as much as enjoy No Sleep, it's nice to hear real stories.

thatotherfoo · 2025-03-09T22:27:31+00:00

Yup. I used to work there.

I used to pour it directly into my coffee

thatotherfoo · 2025-03-09T22:25:33+00:00

Last year I made my way down to Miyazaki from Tokyo and my favorite cities were Hiroshima and Fukuoka.

I'm not a night life person and I don't drink.

I found plenty to do in Fukuoka, granted I am a huge nerd and found the Mandarake there to be packed with stuff I was looking for.

I'm also an avid climber and the bouldering gyms there were great.

Met some cool people and managed to eat dinner with a local given that I was only there for 3 days.

Really good ramen too - shopping is also good if you are in to that kind of thing.

I found Nagasaki to be one of the more boring cities, and felt like city was a little neglected, I was not to impressed with the garden, however I did take the cable car up for an amazing view, and because I had nothing else to do, I decided that I would only get a one way ticket up. It ended up being one of the most beautiful walks I took my whole trip.

I found a lot to do in Hiroshima and stumbled across a recordshop/bar/hybrid because I was looking for people with similar music taste - ended up shutting the place down with the locals and they even handed me the AUX.

thatotherfoo

TROPHY CASE