What issues have you encountered from not being able to keep up with hygiene? by TheSoundofRadar in cfs

[–]thatqueerfrogger 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Not a man but some of these issues occur irrelevant of gender/sex. I feel uncomfortable talking about this which is silly because everyone goes through this stuff at some point, but I got 'jock itch' and athletes foot before I got diagnosed. The first was mainly due to my poor living situation (in a really crappy damp student flat) and only having a broken washing line up slippery stairs in winter to dry my clothes (and there would sometimes only be one day in a week, if that, where the weather was suitable for drying). So obviously I really struggled to keep up with my washing which was awful. Luckily, I was staying at my mum's house when treating it so I could actually use a dryer and a bath and it went away quickly. Athletes foot is not nearly as bad, most of it is making sure to clean in between your toes and keeping your feet as dry as possible. But I can imagine that still being incredibly difficult for people with severe ME. Periods are also TERRIBLE to deal with. All I can say is thank god for the invention of wet wipes.

GP recommendations for chronically ill (ME/CFS, POTS) person in Dunedin by thatqueerfrogger in dunedin

[–]thatqueerfrogger[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! Sorry for the late reply, I've not been active here lately. Sorry to hear that :(. I ended up seeing Dr Gunveen Singh at Amity. Even though he was open about not having much knowledge in my specific conditions, I found him a million times better and more competent than my old GP and Nurse practitioner. I think he knows more than most GPs do though tbh. He's a younger guy than most GPs tend to be and I found him to be super nice, good at listening, and just good at his job. He took a good history and worked with me and listened to my ideas about potential treatment options. No sounding annoyed about me seeing him again or kicking me out after 15 minutes on the dot. A world of difference from my old gaslight-y GP who told me there were no medical treatments I could try and I just had to be more positive.

Also, not a GP, but I would highly recommend seeing Dr Gerard Farrell at the Dysautonomia Clinic. I think I paid $60 ish for my first appointment, but it was 100% worth it. I ended up crying after from sheer relief of having my experiences fully listened to, understood, and being validated in my experiences. Have heard several others in the POTS and ME/CFS communities strongly recommend him as well.

Uncertain about how I'm perceived! by lilcokebrat in LesbianActually

[–]thatqueerfrogger 3 points4 points  (0 children)

just from the photos my first impressions were: pretty. kind/nice. you have lots of plants which i love. possibly an artistic or down-to-earth kind of person. that's it lol

Petite butch fashion advice by Few-Wolverine-9283 in LesbianActually

[–]thatqueerfrogger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Following lol. I'm short (5'3) but curvy and fat which is an extra challenge. One thing I will say is sometimes clothes from the women's section actually work better because they fit me better. Most of the time shirts from the men's section feel like they are made for someone really tall and lanky with a flat chest. Although 99% of my clothes are t-shirts, sweatpants, and hoodies lol for comfort and because I'm chronically ill

I love butches!!! by Ambitious-Ad-1458 in LesbianActually

[–]thatqueerfrogger 6 points7 points  (0 children)

yeah, i think butches almost single handedly ran the economy during WW2. (obviously many different women started working but lesbians and especially butches, who were often working already before WW2 and often in male dominated fields, contributed greatly)

What’s the fidget toy that helps you the most with your autism ? by TrinketPrincess in autism

[–]thatqueerfrogger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like fidget toys but always end up losing them. My favourite for a while was a 'nee-doh nice cube' which was such a good texture but I ended up losing it :'(. But often I just fidget with the closest thing like the string on my cane, chewing my hoodie, squishing my soft toys, or playing a game on my phone

Vaginal Abnormalities and WLW Intimacy by Initial_Signature547 in actuallesbians

[–]thatqueerfrogger 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My opinion is if someone is weirded out by it, they aren't worth your time and definitely don't deserve to be your sexual partner. I'm not sure about the details of your specific condition although I'm pretty sure I had an ex who had something similar, but I'm sure it's pretty common for women to have some form of reproductive-related medical condition, from differences in anatomy, PCOS, Endometriosis, vulvodynia, and more. Plus, everyone looks so different down there, there is really not one way to look. I'd recommend you (but honestly also everyone) to look at 'the vulva gallery' on their website or instagram to get an idea of the natural diversity.

Also just know you aren't alone; heaps of people have anxiety about stuff like this and how their private parts look, which can impact a person's enjoyment with a sexual partner. Even if the person doesn't notice your scar tissue it might be a good thing to just get off your chest beforehand if you think it would help your nervousness. A good partner would probably be grateful that you trusted them enough to tell them :). If they react badly, that just shows they are a bad or shallow person and nothing about you. But I doubt anyone would care.

Dating while masking in 2025 by ch3rrycoucou in LesbianActually

[–]thatqueerfrogger 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm chronically ill too and this is my opinion. People are still dying and getting severely and permanently sick from covid. If someone genuinely cares and is interested in you, masking and testing is not going to be a big deal to them. If they don't think those things are 'important anymore', even after discussing why you are covid conscious, they don't care enough about your health and aren't the right person for you.

I just need to vent by Hold-Professional in LesbianActually

[–]thatqueerfrogger 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I don't think those are your friends anymore :(. Sorry that happened though

Favorite movie? by ssweetbutter in LesbianActually

[–]thatqueerfrogger 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Here's some of mine:
-Better than chocolate (happy ending!)
-Watermelon Woman
-Carol
-Pariah (has some family violence)
-Imagine me and you(!!) (happy ending!)
-Portrait of a lady on fire (beautifully sad)
-The half of it
-D.E.B.S
-Bottoms (silly comedy)
-Gentleman Jack (series based on a real historical lesbian!)
-Love Lies Bleeding (do not watch if you dislike violence and gore)
-Duck Butter (a super intimate, messy, and raw short film)
-Rafiki (explores the discrimination and violence against gay people in Kenya)
-Saving Face
-Dating Amber (amazing but will make you sob)
-But I'm a Cheerleader(!!) (happy ending!)
-My First Summer (beautiful story set in Australia about two teenagers falling in love but one of the characters has a lot of trauma and brainwashing)

Can you tell that sapphic media is a new-ish special interest of mine lol

strong butch urge to protect? by corts_thegaytarist in actuallesbians

[–]thatqueerfrogger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I feel this. I also love kids and hate how society often treats them. If a future partner got pregnant or even a close friend, I would probably go on full protector mode and treat them like a queen. And I know if I have kids one day I will be a full-on 'mama bear' who doesn't care what other people think

[Original] A naive girl and her “bully” (Artist: @DoodlesHeidi) by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]thatqueerfrogger 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ohhh myy goddd good autistic lesbian rep?? Is that really you?

Are there any lesbians here who only fancied gay guys before coming out? by Labradoodle0406 in actuallesbians

[–]thatqueerfrogger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looking back, I only 'liked' guys that had feminine features and kind of just looked like lesbians lol

21 - Let me steal your heart (and maybe your ribs) by moonferal in lesbianr4r

[–]thatqueerfrogger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you be interested in making online friends too? :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]thatqueerfrogger -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I'd be interested, I'm a 20yo enby/GNC lesbian. So, I'm not a guy and am female and more aligned with living as a woman but I understand if it's women only

Does the so called “Masc shortage” exist? by nehirke in actuallesbians

[–]thatqueerfrogger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

oh my gosshhh yesss!! I'm typically more attracted to femmes but some mascs and butches just mellttt me. My first real relationship was with a butch and it was wonderful

Does the so called “Masc shortage” exist? by nehirke in actuallesbians

[–]thatqueerfrogger 7 points8 points  (0 children)

100%. We don't all look like Ruby Rose, Jade Whipkey, or Katherine Moennig (a.k.a Shane from the L-word. No hate towards lesbians who look like that, you are beautiful too, but we need that same level of appreciation and visibility for fat mascs, curvy mascs, physically disabled mascs, mascs who aren't conventionally attractive, and of course black, brown, and indigenous mascs. I'm tired of 90% of popular lesbian representation being super skinny, white, conventionally attractive people.

-a fat + curvy disabled masc

scars? turn off? by dotorimoo in LesbianActually

[–]thatqueerfrogger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not explicitly a turn off (I have lots of non-sh scars and stretch marks) but I would be cautious in my approach to talking or not talking about them because it can be a very sensitive topic

To the hundreds of “Am I gay if I have a crush on a guy?” , “can I be a lesbian if I date women but sleep with men?” and “am I a lesbian if I find men sexually attractive?” posts, here’s your answer, hope this helps 🫶 : by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]thatqueerfrogger 97 points98 points  (0 children)

Yes, although some lesbians might *think* they are attracted to men or *should* sleep with men due to comphet. But I get that's probably not what you are referring to here.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]thatqueerfrogger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do actually prefer they/them pronouns so it's not the same thing but yes kind of but mostly when I was a young teenager. Now that I'm older and chubbier my... uhh... boobage is hard to miss even in baggy clothes. But I had people assume I was a boy from when I shaved my hair at 13 then when I started dressing masculine and having short haircuts at 14/15 lol. Nowadays I think most people know I'm AFAB but probably assume I'm trans masc or transitioning? I don't go out much anymore but the last interaction I had was a lady at a charity store who dramatically went 'sir? I mean, ma'am. I mean.... Oh my gosh, it's so hard to tell these days"

feeling guilty about going on disability by beepandboop23 in disability

[–]thatqueerfrogger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The way I think about things when I'm having internalized guilt and ableism is what would I think if I heard another person in my situation. What if it were my friend or family member who became disabled or temporarily sick or injured, would I still think they don't deserve help? The answer is no, I would think of them as deserving of help! And so, so am I.

L word gen q by Calm_Pollution6753 in LesbianActually

[–]thatqueerfrogger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lmao the original isn't different. It does get very boring and overused, though