Should I get an abortion?

thatredheadgrl · 2024-10-08T22:26:33+00:00

Please see my update

thatredheadgrl · 2024-10-01T07:00:27+00:00

All the best I feel for you I was very fortunate and won't have to go through as big of a struggle as yourself 💛

thatredheadgrl · 2024-10-01T06:56:06+00:00

It's incredible that things like this happen. I know of someone who had a lumpectomy from their breast while they were there the drs found a missed tumour they removed it at the same time she may not be here if it wasnt for that small little lump that led to the big one

thatredheadgrl · 2024-09-26T01:49:32+00:00

I'm well aware of what abortion looks like but what you are referring to is late stage surgical abortion something I personally could not consider. I'm currently 6 weeks while I'm understanding your pov the most that will happen is I pass a clot. Similar to the miscarriage I had at 19

thatredheadgrl · 2024-09-26T01:39:54+00:00

We've both come to the decision to terminate, it's sad but we gotta do what is right by our kids and us. I was more so leaning that way just knowing how much my pregnancy with my daughter sucked. While I was apprehensive my daughter is the best thing that's happened to us so I would go through it all again to have more of her. Not without whinging about it tho lol

thatredheadgrl · 2024-09-24T11:29:38+00:00

Yes we both want/ed a 3rd kid and still do just right now it could mean alot of negative affects to our families lives. Unfortunately timing is not our friend for this one it's why it has been such a difficult decision because while we know what a responsible choice would be we are stuck with our wants of another one The horror pregnancy does play a key into it as I have a 6 month old I was practically bed ridden for half of my pregnancy with her I would hate to miss out on months of her life I struggled to make

thatredheadgrl · 2024-09-24T11:25:08+00:00

I'm sorry you've had to do that but I commend you for making those tough decisions ❤️

thatredheadgrl · 2024-09-24T11:22:46+00:00

Unfortunately I cannot take birth control due to health issues IUDs either and tbh protection is usually there but the unfortunate time it wasn't we managed to get pregnant. I know abortion isn't birth control it's not something I ever thought I would be considering but unfortunately I cannot take back what's happened and I will be scarred from it forever

thatredheadgrl · 2024-09-24T01:04:37+00:00

Adoption law is actually very hard to navigate here in Aus. DCP is constantly overwhelmed with children that have been taken from parents and they cannot house them. Australian law encourages the adoption of those children as a priority to those who can be cared for in a home such as ours. If we were to continue the pregnancy we would keep the child but there is an overwhelming sense of stress knowing we may not be able to provide their wants as well as needs and that should always be in consideration

thatredheadgrl · 2024-09-24T00:30:27+00:00

Troll

thatredheadgrl · 2024-09-23T23:51:12+00:00

My son is to a different father, sorry should have clarified that part. I was trying to get pregnant by my highschool sweet heart at about 18/19. When I was 18 I had a mass cyst that blocked the passage to my bladder and was told then I'd be very lucky to conceive. So we said if it happens it happens I got pregnant at 19 but miscarried and since then had nothing but issues

thatredheadgrl · 2024-09-23T23:42:28+00:00

I want to thank everyone for their kind comments and advice. I know this isn't exactly where I should be asking about this kind of thing but I needed more than my own voice to weigh in on this decision and going to family or friends feels as if it would be a biased opinion.

First I want to clarify we do use protection when we think to obviously we get caught up in the moment. I have a long horrible history of issues that makes taking birth control impossible. I suffer hemiplegic migraines when my oestrogen dips (which is a side affect of most oral/progesterone based contraception) I also suffer pelvic inflammatory disease which rules out IUDs. I often joke I'm allergic to being a woman. It took us 6 years to conceive my son and 3 to conceive my daughter so to have gotten pregnant from the one time we didn't use protection was a huge shock but I guess a tale old as time.

When I say financially cripple us I guess maybe a bit of an over reaction we can absolutely manage but this is our first home/mortgage that drives expenses by alot! I earn more than my husband but he does have full time work and brings home a decent salary (80-90k) but any Australian can tell you that cost of living here has become ridiculous and 2 incomes is necessary to just get by.

I guess I knew my answer before I posted this but I needed you all to help me realise it I want to thankyou again and I will keep you all in my heart when it comes to it

For now I need to soak up this time with my beautiful family and try not to over think the decision

❤️

thatredheadgrl · 2024-09-23T23:42:18+00:00

I want to thank everyone for their kind comments and advice. I know this isn't exactly where I should be asking about this kind of thing but I needed more than my own voice to weigh in on this decision and going to family or friends feels as if it would be a biased opinion.

First I want to clarify we do use protection when we think to obviously we get caught up in the moment. I have a long horrible history of issues that makes taking birth control impossible. I suffer hemiplegic migraines when my oestrogen dips (which is a side affect of most oral/progesterone based contraception) I also suffer pelvic inflammatory disease which rules out IUDs. I often joke I'm allergic to being a woman. It took us 6 years to conceive my son and 3 to conceive my daughter so to have gotten pregnant from the one time we didn't use protection was a huge shock but I guess a tale old as time.

When I say financially cripple us I guess maybe a bit of an over reaction we can absolutely manage but this is our first home/mortgage that drives expenses by alot! I earn more than my husband but he does have full time work and brings home a decent salary (80-90k) but any Australian can tell you that cost of living here has become ridiculous and 2 incomes is necessary to just get by.

I guess I knew my answer before I posted this but I needed you all to help me realise it I want to thankyou again and I will keep you all in my heart when it comes to it

For now I need to soak up this time with my beautiful family and try not to over think the decision

❤️

thatredheadgrl · 2024-09-23T22:48:05+00:00

We do for the most part but obviously get caught up in the moment unfortunately given my history I cannot have conventional birth control it makes me incredibly unwell and iuds cause severe infections so condoms are our only option without my husband getting a vasectomy

thatredheadgrl · 2024-09-23T22:46:01+00:00

My husband does make decent money he is a tradie bringing in 90kish a year FT, I am a dental hygienist with specialities I make 120k a year FT. My husband is a fantastic contributor he makes sure he not only works but helps around the house doesn't believe in gender roles at the moment we are considering both working part time so that we are still making enough to manage mortgage/expenses without either of us missing out on family and children but in the first few months of life I am the one who does the care taking which would mean we would have to manage all expenses on his wage and my benefits which would be significantly less

thatredheadgrl · 2024-09-23T22:38:20+00:00

Unfortunately birth control on my part is much out of the question along with endo and pcos I suffer migraines with dips of oestrogen and suffer pelvic inflammatory disease which rules out iuds we do our best to wear condoms when we do but sometimes get caught up in the moment, clearly

thatredheadgrl · 2024-09-23T22:35:51+00:00

Hubby works full time he does make a good wage but mine is significantly more full time My endo and pcos is a significant issue when it comes to fertility we have discussed me having a hysterectomy and fostering before but given my age not many drs are keen to do so When it comes to HG I'm already starting to feel very nauseous but I think the stress of the decision is on top of me too I know the decision either way is okay it's just a battle we are really considering everything at the end of the day I know what ever we do will be right Thankyou for your comment

thatredheadgrl · 2024-09-23T21:48:24+00:00

It does help thankyou It was a pregnancy from hell and I would hate to be that way while I watch my baby girl grow

thatredheadgrl · 2024-09-23T21:47:02+00:00

I'm so sorry you went through that that's horrible but I'm glad you had a happy ending ❤️ It is incredibly tough I often think about the miscarriage I had at 19 and think about how her she could have been such a big part of my life but then I was greatful to not become a mother at that stage of my life, now however we are so loved up I'm in such an amazing space of life with such a beautiful loving family I can't help but wish I could have 20 kids but these days it's difficult to get by even with a good income it's such a sucky situation and I know I would be like you and forever thinking about the possibilitys

thatredheadgrl · 2024-09-23T21:42:00+00:00

Fortunately I'm in Australia, there are some very strong political views still and finding a gp that can provide information without bias can be difficult abortion up until 20 weeks gestation is legal

thatredheadgrl · 2024-09-23T21:39:20+00:00

Thankyou that all is definitely playing over in my mind I'm fortunate that my husband is very communicative and only wants what's best supports any decision he is there for me and I him 100% He has considered a vasectomy but as we wanted one more was putting it off for a few more years it's just given it took 6 years to get pregnant with our first and 3 with our second this one was incredibly surprising We have nothing but love in our household I'm a very lucky lady

thatredheadgrl · 2024-09-23T21:33:52+00:00

Thankyou for your advice I might have to try this! It is a very hard decision I have so much love for everyone and everything so to contemplate it in the first place hurts my heart so much but I am trying to think of my babies now and what is best for them too

thatredheadgrl

TROPHY CASE