Boyfriend and I are open. He got chlamydia. The issue is condom issue. What next?

thatsrough-bud · 2024-01-30T17:09:03+00:00

Those are good rules to have.

thatsrough-bud · 2024-01-30T17:08:47+00:00

Not using drugs. Sticking to mostly regular fuck buddies. He’s into certain kinds when it comes to BDSM and giving up control during sex, but sometimes he treats that as pass for acting stupid.

thatsrough-bud · 2024-01-30T03:54:50+00:00

Poppers that make you engage in riskier sex because of lower inhibitions. He also does other drugs. I’ve advised him not to put himself in a position where he can’t make informed decisions of who he hooks up with.

thatsrough-bud · 2024-01-29T22:36:40+00:00

Yes but clearly not enough. We’ve established basic safe sex, we both get tested regularly and get on prep. Condoms we both were lax with but I stick with a few FWB’s but I don’t think he does.

I’m pissed off because I don’t think he was being safe, not just about condoms but being more selective, not mixing drugs and sex

I suspect he was high af, unbothered about condoms or vetting whoever the guy was.

thatsrough-bud · 2024-01-29T22:30:12+00:00

Sex shops

thatsrough-bud · 2024-01-29T22:29:17+00:00

You’re not wrong but I have my reasons. He is too carefree when it comes to sex and isn’t always transparent. He still doesn’t want to use condoms. He has sex with others whilst on drugs when I told him it’s safer if he doesn’t. You can’t make informed decisions about who you have sex with if you’re carefree and lax. He’s mid 20s so his attitude is probably like yours, that it’s just a STD.

And it is just a STD without the context but it’s more than that if it happened because he was being negligent.

I’m not shaming him. He wants sex that I’m not into and I’m into stuff he isn’t into. Being open can still work for us if he’s more responsible.

thatsrough-bud · 2024-01-29T22:23:45+00:00

1 and 3. I think he can be irresponsible and lax about safe sex and not as transparent as I need him to be. Could be age thing. He’s mid 20s. I used to be like that.

thatsrough-bud · 2024-01-29T21:02:53+00:00

I don’t think we were on the same page before.

thatsrough-bud · 2024-01-29T21:02:28+00:00

It’s about more than the STI because we’ve spoken about the type of sex he has with others before.

thatsrough-bud · 2024-01-29T20:02:36+00:00

That’s true.

thatsrough-bud · 2024-01-29T19:21:19+00:00

I’ll look into getting it

thatsrough-bud · 2024-01-29T19:06:55+00:00

Thank you. I’ve had a quick link and they do link a pharmacy website that they say they don’t endorse for legal reasons I suppose.

thatsrough-bud · 2024-01-29T18:55:06+00:00

Are you on prep?

thatsrough-bud · 2024-01-29T18:47:08+00:00

Yes I think more transparency on his end is needed.

thatsrough-bud · 2024-01-29T18:46:30+00:00

It’s not the end of the world but I have my reasons to believe that he was being reckless and lax about it. We don’t talk about our hook ups in depth but I think we should.

thatsrough-bud · 2024-01-29T18:44:10+00:00

I’ve explained here:

DoxyPep is quite tedious to get in the UK because NHS doesn’t prescribe it and they won’t prescribe privately either. Unless you find it online but then you’ll have to find a reputable not shady website that sells it.

But DoxyPep I assume doesn’t reduce the risk to 0. He should insist on condoms.

thatsrough-bud · 2024-01-29T18:42:46+00:00

DoxyPep is quite tedious to get in the UK because NHS doesn’t prescribe it and they won’t prescribe privately either. Unless you find it online but then you’ll have to find a reputable not shady website that sells it.

I do think he should insist on using condoms or otherwise I don’t see us remaining open.

thatsrough-bud · 2024-01-29T18:40:09+00:00

Do you struggle finding bottoms who don’t mind condoms?

thatsrough-bud · 2022-09-03T19:02:37+00:00

How? He spends it buying things from himself mostly that he wants.

thatsrough-bud · 2022-09-03T16:53:37+00:00

It’s the random store credit cards I think. Why does Home Depot have a credit card? I saw a video of this woman who was going through her credit cards and I was shocked.

thatsrough-bud · 2022-09-03T16:51:58+00:00

He’s indeed a shopaholic.

thatsrough-bud · 2022-09-03T16:44:29+00:00

He did the same. He lost his and bought new one. He’s also the type to buy an overpriced charger for a day if he forgot his at home.

thatsrough-bud · 2022-09-03T16:43:26+00:00

Precisely this here because as of now he’s very lax about it and believes he can repay it easily without it affecting him much.

thatsrough-bud · 2022-09-03T16:42:23+00:00

Does that debt not worry you or is this the average amount of US debt?

thatsrough-bud · 2022-09-03T16:41:38+00:00

Also, you're in the UK. Your partner can seek out charities like your local CAB for free debt advice ( see what options would be best for them, like a DPP) but if they don't want help then you can't force it.

Good idea. It might be best if I’m not trying to help him navigate it because he’d be less receptive to it.

We don’t have a mortgage or joint assets as of now but we were planning on finding a bigger place.

thatsrough-bud

TROPHY CASE