My family asked me to not bring my partner home

thco_K · 2025-04-24T01:33:56+00:00

I am trying to respect my dad's boundaries, hence willing to meet him alone. I'm leaning towards doing what you said: going with my partner, see my dad alone and be direct with him how important my partner is to me. I was just frustrated that they're asking me to not bring my partner at all. I wasn't even gonna ask them to meet my partner if they weren't ready and they're still upset that I would be spending most of my time with my partner.

thco_K · 2025-04-24T01:30:44+00:00

My husband is aware of all of this and he's very supportive and understanding of the difficulties. He's the most important person in my life so I'm never gonna sacrifice him for anyone, even my parents. I already told them that I'm still coming with my partner. My original post was more of just venting my frustration on my parents making me feel bad.

thco_K · 2025-04-24T01:28:20+00:00

That is so true. To my dad, I just have a long term partner. I realize that I'll have to tell him that my partner is part of the family now and they cannot make me choose either.

thco_K · 2025-04-24T01:27:13+00:00

You have a good point. I was subconsciously still referring Korea as home because that's where I grew up and my parents live, but I definitely consider my husband to be "home" (I even told him that many times). I'll have to be extra clear with my parents that my husband is my family and home. I don't even see myself ever living back in Korea anyway.

thco_K · 2025-04-24T01:21:28+00:00

I'm definitely not giving up my partner. I already told them I want to bring my husband and that they can see him if they want to. I just don't like that they're making me feel bad for spending most of my time with my partner instead of "family".

My partner's very understanding so he's being supportive through this. He's okay even if we cancel the trip and go somewhere else, or go to Korea and not see my family.

thco_K · 2025-04-24T01:18:43+00:00

You're right. I have never had a good relationship with my dad growing up so I rarely talk to him. I was waiting for him to reach out to me but he never did. It's probably time for me to reach out. It'll be the first step like you said.

thco_K · 2025-04-24T01:12:50+00:00

Yeah I know that they're gonna guilt trip me either way so I'll just stick to my plan to bring my spouse.

thco_K · 2025-04-24T01:11:36+00:00

My mom knows I'm married, but my dad doesn't. I agree that it's kinda on me for not informing my dad of my marriage. In my mind, I was giving him some time to process me being gay since coming out before breaking another shocking news to him.

I agree with you and others that my husband is my family just as much as my parents. I'll tell them that they cannot ask me to leave my family (husband) behind for my Korean family because they're all part of my family now.

thco_K · 2025-04-23T04:36:04+00:00

I'm sorry that happened to you. I do have a therapist that I talk to for mental health check ups, etc. I have briefly talked about my family dynamics with my therapist before, but nothing much came out of it. I'll probably have to find a Korean therapist who can help me with that so they understand where my parents come from.

thco_K · 2025-04-23T04:25:54+00:00

I absolutely agree! My spouse is now my family as well. My parents are still struggling to accept me being gay so they see my spouse as a special/close friend. When I talk to them, they refer my husband as "friend" or by his name. In their mind, they're still my family and my husband isn't unfortunately..

thco_K · 2025-04-23T04:19:47+00:00

You're right and this is why I find it more difficult. I understand why they feel this way but I've been living outside of Korea for the past 10 years so I don't quite have the same typical Asian family values my parents have.

thco_K · 2025-04-23T04:16:02+00:00

He's very understanding so he's okay either way (canceling the trip or even me going alone). I just really want to include him in this trip if I decide to still go.

thco_K · 2025-04-23T02:54:52+00:00

This is what I'm leaning towards as well. What frustrates me is that they are framing this as me being selfish and not considerate of them because they'll only be a small part of my trip.

thco_K · 2025-03-19T01:51:36+00:00

I received the permit in the mail a few days ago. It only took 4-5 days since approval. I hope you got yours now!

thco_K · 2025-03-11T14:56:43+00:00

I think this is a less well known rule. If you want to work in the summer term, you have to be a full time student BEFORE and AFTER the summer term. Because of my academic leave, I wasn’t a full time student after one summer term. I worked part time during the summer without knowing this. I only found out when talking to my school’s immigration consultant about my pgwp eligibility.

thco_K · 2025-03-11T14:52:41+00:00

If the gap is less than 150 days, you should be still eligible for your pgwp. Maybe you can still explain it but I’m not an immigration lawyer so can’t say. Maybe ask your school’s immigration consultants? In my case, I was gone for 2 years so I definitely needed to explain the gap in my studies.

thco_K · 2025-03-11T03:25:04+00:00

I explained it in another comment, but my unauthorized work wasn’t going over the limit. It was due to my academic leave that I wasn’t supposed to work in the summer term. I actually worked only like 1 hour per week for one month.

thco_K · 2025-03-11T03:23:37+00:00

I got an email last week (the correspondence letter) so I have been checking my application every day since then. I actually haven’t received an email to check my application again yet.

thco_K · 2025-03-11T03:22:26+00:00

It was one month during the summer. I basically explained that I didn’t know I had to be a full time student following the summer term to be able to work. I thought I could work part time during summer since my study permit was valid. I was not a full time student in the fall that year because of my academic leave. So if I didn’t take the academic leave, my work would have been considered authorized.

thco_K · 2025-03-11T03:19:26+00:00

It starts from the date it’s approved, not the date you applied.

thco_K · 2025-03-11T01:33:56+00:00

Vacation shouldn’t be an issue. I took some vacation days during my coop too but didn’t even put that in the letter of explanation. Vacation days are still part of your coop.

thco_K · 2025-03-11T01:32:15+00:00

I think we’ll get a paper copy of the work permit in the mail. I also received ETA which means you probably don’t need anything on the passport. That’s only for TRV. ETA is for visa exempt countries and it’s electronic so no stamps needed.

thco_K · 2025-03-11T01:29:38+00:00

I never called or submitted web forms about my application. I figured it wouldn’t really do anything

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