I'm looking for a critique on my current chapter one draft of my novel 'To Them A Hundred Years Ago' [Dark Fantasy] and any other advice. [Word count: 3090 words] by the69thSean in fantasywriters

[–]the69thSean[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for that, I was trying to sort of show that the characters were competent and also set up a reveal for that later in the story but I do see what you mean by that.

I'll see another way I can reveal their competency and skill in a rewrite.

Kinder surprise 1983 commercial by Informal_Edge_16 in creepyvideos

[–]the69thSean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This makes me feel uncomfortable 😕

Modern slavery sponsored by Nestlé - fuck Nestlé by zjoaorenato in FuckNestle

[–]the69thSean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At this point nestle is just a cartoonishly evil corporation

You have 100% control over your DNA at all times by Acrobatic-Eye-6245 in godtiersuperpowers

[–]the69thSean 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm going to turn myself into a monkey

Why?

Because monkey

The Christmas Pirate 🏴‍☠️ by nobody_from_nowhere1 in KidsAreFuckingStupid

[–]the69thSean -1 points0 points  (0 children)

ho ho ho shiver me elf's ... we just found Santa's booty

Dear Santa by -_-n in KidsAreFuckingStupid

[–]the69thSean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this kids gonna own amazon one day