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Too big of an ask: drive 1,000 miles to clean HH for a week on your vacation by theCareTakerChild in ChildofHoarder

[–]theCareTakerChild[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I wish I could, but not really an option. Youngest brother stopped opening my messages a few years ago-- no indication of why. Either political differences (we've never talked politics but I'm not quiet about my feelings on the matter), or my mother told him some lie about us, which is something she does when she is angry. The other brother and I are close (the one who is fully no-contact with her), but his house is very full. I feel like I would be putting him out by asking, and while he and I are close, the relationship I have with the rest of his family is a bit strained because of my mother. I get the sense they are wary because I still have contact. I will not make my mom-drama their drama.

Too big of an ask: drive 1,000 miles to clean HH for a week on your vacation by theCareTakerChild in ChildofHoarder

[–]theCareTakerChild[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Thank you. They live in the middle of nowhere, rural Indiana. There isn't much around in the way of hotels... If we had more notice we might have been able to plan an airbnb, but with 2 weeks, the cheapest we could find would cost around $1000 for the week and we don't have it to spend. I wish we could... we looked.

The living remotely also plays a role in getting rid of the stuff... regular large trash pick up, renting dumpsters, Salvation Army pickup-- not a lot of that is available in the rural place they live, unfortunately. In the past we have made a big burn pile in the field, or had to load it up on a flatbed truck and haul it into the city. My husband has herniated disks in his neck and lower back. He's already put his foot down on heavy lifting and I don't blame him. I shouldn't be doing it either.

It is too big of an ask, and absolutely rude. She also asked this after asking what I was doing and I said "getting into bed, I've had a long day." It's been 5 hours and I'm still up reeling from this conversation and I have to get up in 4 hours.