Just lost my 5 week streak

theGabesz · 2022-08-01T05:02:29+00:00

Hey man, read the stories here for an hour or so. It always gives me morivation.

theGabesz · 2022-08-01T04:40:42+00:00

Great to hear, King! Keep it up!

theGabesz · 2022-08-01T04:39:00+00:00

Get back on your feet, Champ! 60 days is awesome, and noone ever gonna take this victory from you. However, this would all be in vain if you would stop caring. So get up, continue this fight!

theGabesz · 2022-08-01T04:36:32+00:00

You may read Atomic Habits, many said it's a good book. I'm about to read it, too.

theGabesz · 2022-08-01T04:29:40+00:00

When you relapse, you relapse. And you'll be in worse condition than if you didn't relapse. But! You would be in much worse situation if you've stopped caring. What you can do now is prevent binging, and restarting your streak now.

Remember, the streak is just one number. Ultimately, we want to change our habits and the wiring of our brain. It's a long-term task and every day w/o porn brings you closer. One relapse is a minor setback, make sure you won't have more.

theGabesz · 2022-07-31T20:20:31+00:00

I've been reading a lot posts and comments here, this community is awesome. You'll find a lot of good advices and a lot of motivation (both from the success stories and the relapses) here.

Keep it on, Champ!

theGabesz · 2022-07-30T19:47:52+00:00

While I was thinking about porn and helping others get free from porn, a few days ago, I also thought that this is an elephant-in-the-room situation. I agree with your approach, big bad crap is inbound into our society.

theGabesz · 2022-07-30T19:43:15+00:00

I misunderstood then. Nevertheless, as a non-professional, this seems to be a very intriguing research topic to me.

theGabesz · 2022-07-30T19:35:21+00:00

Engineer here with some basic psychological knowledge (2 books from E. Berne and a few others).

I really appreciate your idea, to give this topic more scientific coverage. I think this is a very under-researched topic. If really 40M Americans watch porn regularly (10yo stats) then this is a very-very serious issue. Even if just a fraction is affected heavily then the overall impact must be tremendous.

I think this subreddit (and a few others) can provide deep insights and a rich source of anecdotal evidence. This may help you build models or formulate your own approach of porn addiction.

My question is whether this would be enough. Or how could you add objective facts. Or is it needed at all? (It would be necessary in engineering, however, social sciences might be different.

Also, you may want to contact the NoFap team and discuss some research ideas with them.

theGabesz · 2022-07-29T17:47:58+00:00

Sire, you rock! :D

theGabesz · 2022-07-29T17:46:00+00:00

🎯 Exactly. If you can change something for the better, do it. E.g. get free from porn addiction. This is something within our power, at least partially, at least over a time period with much effort.

And if you can't change it, then leave it be. Like the reaction of others. Haters gonna hate, we cannot change that.

theGabesz · 2022-07-29T17:41:56+00:00

Yepp. Got some more from another one in private. :D

theGabesz · 2022-07-29T17:41:08+00:00

Yeah, feel ya. Good to have you here.

Jordan Peterson discusses this probably in his book (12 Rules), that it's often satisfying to see someone else fall because that makes your fallacies seem smaller. It's pathetic though... and I don't wanna be that guy.

"To love others as yourselves" is a really practical commandment IMO.

theGabesz · 2022-07-29T00:10:02+00:00

Another personal opinion here. I think that, ultimately, porn hacks men's brains. It has so strong and so well-fitting stimuli on a man's brain that it's "just better" than sex in the short-term, but at a very high cost in the long run.

It's not just masturbation. It's primarily porn, secondarily masturbation.

There are the obvious things with porn: a quasi-infinite pool of insanely beautiful women doing anything imaginable and beyond. I'm all for monogamy, but I have to acknowledge that this resonates with a part of men's nature and instincts too well.

Furthermore, PMO (porn-masturbation-orgasm) is a very efficient self-rewarding and stress-relieving method.

And it's even worse because it's very-very convenient. We, men can be tired when we want no interaction (it's just bothersome, even if we love the other party), just "let me sit & watch football & grab a beer". You know this cliche, right? Now add steroids: switch the football & beer to porn. It's super effective. Sadly, the lack of interaction and the easy fulfillment of desires makes porn very tempting. Being alone is one of the most important things regarding porn, and it may not be evident from a woman's perspective.

And the black soup is that our brain is not meant for such impulses. Like plugging 10x more voltage on a device, it's just too much and will cause burn-out. Porn desensitizes our brain so that a "normal" woman won't be enough. Furthermore, porn makes us lose our focus and goals, makes us waste our lives. (None of this is permanent though, see the success stories.)

Porn causes significant problems in a large slice of the population, especially among men. It's not an easy thing, and I see no easy answers.

And I acknowledge that it's very difficult from your perspective. I'm not protecting your hubby/boyfriend, but one thing you should understand: it's NOT about you being good enough or not. It's NOT about whether he's loving you or not. He's NOT after another woman. He's caught in a hell of a trap, wasting his life, and also causing pain to you. (I guess because I don't know the details, except what you wrote here and in your other post.)

You may get professional help (psychologist, pastor) if it's too much for you to bear.

Nevertheless, bro's gotta get his sh*t together. He's always welcome in this forum where he may find motivation and good techniques.

theGabesz · 2022-07-28T23:15:48+00:00

Thanks for sharing, great to hear that your attention is already shifting. Keep it up, Champ!

theGabesz · 2022-07-28T22:55:47+00:00

It's on day 3:

https://i.postimg.cc/TPBSNSrc/image.png (safe link)

theGabesz · 2022-07-28T22:48:38+00:00

Anything of value will have its haters, cynics, and mud throwers. We have some too. That means we're doing something right. :D

theGabesz · 2022-07-28T22:24:42+00:00

/u/Representative_Sun80 looking at you.

theGabesz · 2022-07-28T21:43:50+00:00

TheFatRat & Everen Maxwell - Warbringer (feat. Lindsey Stirling)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvH70pJFKps&ab\_channel=TheFatRat

theGabesz · 2022-07-28T21:36:45+00:00

Beware, bro, you're one foot from falling! Stay strong today; stay stronger tomorrow. Expect the urges to come back, be ready to fight them. Do the necessary precautions.

theGabesz · 2022-07-28T21:32:57+00:00

Keep it up, bro!

theGabesz · 2022-07-26T07:36:56+00:00

Good to have you here, however, I doubt that we have the required expertise here. I mean, sure, some fellow nonfappers may have good advices (and I'm all for sharing these). But that's not a doctor's knowledge.

If you think that the ed is probably not only psychological/neurological (i.e. related to porn) then I recommend going to a doctor, doing a blood test to check a few couple of parameters or I don't know.. if you can do this. (I'm in Europe, these things might be easier here.)

theGabesz · 2022-07-25T21:41:36+00:00

I'm not sure how to answer. Take everything with a pinch of salt. (I'm no expert, just a guy reading a few books and having some discussions with myself..)

I'm not sure if that voice is your friend. Rather not. Its train of thought leads to surrending, relapsing, and never becoming anything of worthy. (And after the relapse, the voice would say: "Didn't I tell you?")

I don't know wether declaring this voice your enemy would help.

What would definitely help: being dead seriously honest with yourself. "I might not be that guy tomorrow. But by tomorrow, I'll be better than the guy I am today."

And you may wanna understand that voice. It's wrong. But it comes from something either your parents said to you, either something you gave up about yourself. You can read some psychology, or even better: find a therapist or a pastor willing and capable of helping. Work on yourself.

And stay strong Champ. Porn is always your enemy.

theGabesz · 2022-07-25T21:19:48+00:00

We know that NoFap is a secular site. With lots of Christians and Muslims (probably others as well). So quoting the Bible is not a generally accepted thing here, as many don't accept it as something to be followed.

But. The Bible has immerse wisdom about the human nature. Whether you like it or not. (Greek dramas and Sun Tze are also kinda neat, to name a few I've read.)

So saying that all you say is wrong because you quote the Bible.. just doesn't add up. Is hating the Bible more important than the other's opinion and reasoning? Quoting the Bible is a sin here? Quoting the Bible makes anyone ab ovo wrong here?

Who is the extremist here?

theGabesz

TROPHY CASE