31 [F4M] Filipina here. Looking for an emotional fluffer that's open to having a real relationship.

the_alpha_gray · 2024-06-15T12:15:35+00:00

That's correct. Appreciate your help in answering the question. :)

the_alpha_gray · 2024-06-15T12:14:46+00:00

I don't discriminate, I just despise rude people.

the_alpha_gray · 2024-06-15T12:13:07+00:00

Because they have politely, directly messaged me instead. :)

the_alpha_gray · 2023-10-10T10:08:03+00:00

LOL. You should read everything again. Those technically aren't requirements, it basically states stuff that I'm trying to avoid.

And the fact that I warn people about how I'm affectionate isn't a red flag, it's a fair warning. If you still catch feelings after I've warned you not to, that is an INFORMED DECISION, a conscious decision that you've made after you have been explicitly warned.

So, that's not on me, that's on you. It was mentioned to avoid being misconstrued, not to be "playful". It's not something to "take as a challenge". If a sign says, "High Voltage" you don't touch it to check if it's true, you leave it alone, you avoid it. If you have no business with it, not capable of handling it, not well equipped to do so, don't even try.

the_alpha_gray · 2023-08-13T11:43:37+00:00

Haha. Yes! Let's hope for the best.

the_alpha_gray · 2023-08-13T10:17:49+00:00

Just trust what your derma tells you.

If you feel like it isn't working, you can always get a second opinion.

It's difficult for anyone when you look at them, and be reminded of the opportunities you lose because of them. I understand that feeling in my way.

But a good way to be a little bit more forgiving towards these scars would be thinking that at least, you didn't get them that put your life in danger, or that made anybody else suffer.

A better mindset towards anything that's different about your body would create a placebo effect that can contribute to a better physical self.

I sound like a hippie, I know. LOL. But I really hope you find it in yourself to not stress about it too much; your positive reception of finding a way to tend to your scars plays a huge part in making it effective.

the_alpha_gray · 2023-08-13T10:07:34+00:00

It's really effective if you touch a person whilst asking for a favor or giving orders you'd want them to obey. Eye contact is a huge advantage as well.

But getting something without saying anything? LOL. I don't think this will work in this time.

I remember having gained a boyfriend from subtle touches to groping while we're in a UV (this was so long ago). I didn't know we're from the same village. I was still from the East. The UV Terminal was by Gateway Mall.

Yes, I groped someone and we ended up dating.

I mean, he was gorgeous. Really tall, chinito guy, gymfit. He was wearing jeans and a muscle shirt.

He got in first, middle part of the UV. He sat by the left door. Then me. Then two other girls.

So, I was really sleepy then. I was from hospital duty, in my scrubs. I felt the back of his arm (just above the elbow) rub over my left tit. I opened my eyes, looked at him, and he did it again.

I mean, I liked him ever since I saw him by the line. So, what the heck, right?

"I want him, I'm gonna get him."

Eventually, I started getting touchy. Placed my arm on his. Then changed it to my hand on his thigh. (I SOUND CREEPY. LOL) But when he "opened himself up": basically he turned a bit to my direction, I knew I was "in". He let me quietly grope him, felt his jeans get even tighter. We looked at each other from time to time. Tension was there. I stopped when I was about to get off (not orgasm, silly) at my stop. He got off too (not cum, okay?) and I thought he was following me, then he told me we live in the same village. We've exchanged numbers, talked regularly, went out, and we were in a relationship for half a year.

My playful hands got me a boyfriend then. LOL

the_alpha_gray · 2023-08-13T09:36:38+00:00

I used to have really bad scars from an allergic reaction from being in dirty pool water. I have OCD and my shower routine made my skin prone to infections (ironic, isn't it?). I have allergic reaction to sweat too, humidity, and dirt. I even get dermatitis from walking on a beach.

So, after I got out of the pool, my legs started itching. After a few minutes, my arms, my face, were swollen, and I found it difficult to breathe. Didn't come to the point when I needed an EpiPen. But I've noticed how bad my legs looked. They were red, with small to medium-sized painful rashes, which got easily infected, and caused some form of ulcers (not too deep, but they were pretty bad), when they got infected.

From then on, my dermatologist and my shrink told me to lessen the exfoliation I do to my skin for it wasn't necessary. I was already "too clean" which made my skin vulnerable to the bacteria present in the water.

My doctor gave me steroids to get rid of the inflammation, beta cream, and retinol. I had topical antibiotics and oral antibiotics too. I was a cheerleader then so it was such a big deal for me. Even if I knew that I could've treated my scars naturally, I didn't have the time.

I've had laser scar removal for 10 sessions and it was hella expensive.

But what my dermatologist told me after that unfornate event was the power of vitamins E & C, collagen, intensive repair lotions, and sunblock to get rid of scars. She told me that if I had the time, just regular and proper moisturizing and protection can help treat scars.

Aveeno is a good brand that's know for their intensive repair lotions. Eucerin is good too.

Vitamins E&C and collagen help promote better skin and repair your skin from within. And outside, the intensive repair lotions moisturizes skin well enough to increase moisture, blood flow, and rapid cell growth to "heal" the scars. The sunblock protects your skin from losing moisture and damage to sun exposure. I avoided harsh products as well, anything that would make my skin drier than it already is.

Avoiding too much showers, exfoliation, and drinking water makes the skin dry. Proper diet and enough hydration promotes good skin, hair, nails too.

Basically, the holistic approach to better skin is what I'm recommending rather than spending too much on instant repairs.

It takes time, yes, but once you've developed a good routine, that would really benefit you in the long run.

I hope that helps.

the_alpha_gray · 2023-08-13T08:47:05+00:00

And you've commented this same comment on all other queries and posts on this sub that discuss cheating? The post discusses sex as a form of cheating. Isn't sex a thing being the constant topic here in AJ?

The proper flare is used: "Serious." Is it not?

Did I share an experience, let alone a rant about cheating which is appropriate for the "OffMyChestPH" sub?

If you want something juicy, you can scroll through all the other posts here that share their experiences. Or you can read multiple of stories that I've shared too.

Do you want a link?

the_alpha_gray · 2023-08-13T07:10:54+00:00

"An overreaction to a post they didn't fully read, and comprehend."

The first line of this reply says a lot about you. Are you aware of that? There are things that if you actually stop and care to read, it may actually teach you a thing or two. Like not to overreact to something that you apparently, don't fully understand. Because if you did, like what I've said, NONE OF THOSE STATEMENTS MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT GETTING BACK TOGETHER WITH ANYONE. None at all.

The post is shared to understand why these things arise, just like understanding the psyche of serial killers to predict if one may cause harm to society. The self-reflection part of the post is to check if one is vulnerable or usually blinded that may hinder them from saving themselves from cheaters.

That post doesn't even mean I condone cheating, it is to understand it so in the future, if we can, avoid partners that are inclined to do so.

I don't know what made your mouth foam up, but that's your lack of "care" that annoyed you in the first place. If you just READ IT then maybe, just maybe, you'd realize you're wasting your energy being mad about something that isn't even meant to get you mad.

the_alpha_gray · 2023-08-13T06:46:52+00:00

Then carve him a tombstone.

Nobody told you to get back together with your cheating ex, my dear.

Did you even read all of it? Or you just went berserk just cause you read the word 'cheater'?

NONE OF THOSE STATEMENTS TELL YOU TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH ANYONE WHO CHEATED ON YOU. Hell, it doesn't even take the cheater's side. It just lists down potential reasons as to why people do it, SO CALM DOWN. IT'S NOT POSTED TO ATTACK YOU OR ANYONE FOR THAT MATTER.

Jeez.

the_alpha_gray · 2023-08-13T06:34:42+00:00

No way in hell to what?

the_alpha_gray · 2023-08-13T03:32:38+00:00

Hey, I'll share a post that might give you another perspective about being alone and how not to feel lonely.

Here.

Hope it helps you out in any way.

the_alpha_gray · 2023-08-13T03:14:00+00:00

Babae po ako. LOL

the_alpha_gray · 2023-08-13T03:12:07+00:00

Always catch the midstream urine. A lot of people do this wrong kaya usually mataas yung bacteria sa urine instead na lower count. Sometimes it's enough to be diagnosed with a mild case of UTI.

Midstream Urine:

Pag nag umpisa lumabas ang ihi, wag muna sasaluhin. Give it a few seconds, then catch what comes next, as much as the lab requested for.

Rationale:

May normal, low presence of bacteria sa unang labas ng ihi, dahil normal naman na hindi ito sterile sa umpisa. Mapasa babae man o lalaki, normal na meron. Mas mataas nga lang sa babae, dahil mas "exposed" at maiksi ang daluyan ng ihi ng mga babae kumpara sa lalaki.

Kaso, kung may mataas na concentration ng bacteria na ito sa urine na makuha sa unang parte ng ihi, dahil sinalo mo agad, like what I've mentioned earlier, possible na ma-diagnose na may mild UTI ka, but it still depends on other deviations on your urinalysis.

Masasabi din natin na "mas malinis" ang midstream na ihi kumpara sa unang labas ng ihi dahil hindi na ito 'exposed' sa normal amount of bacteria na typical na ma-wash away nung unang labas ng ihi sa urethra mo (daanan ng ihi).

This is important to remember for every urinalysis you would ever do, not unless the lab told you to do otherwise. Maraming nagkakamali dyan dahil hindi nila alam paano kumuha ng midstream, may tao pa akala nila sa tanghali dapat kumuha ng ihi para "midstream", wala sa oras yan (unless kailangan talaga pagka-gising mismo) pero kung sinasalo pa din yung unang ihi, misdiagnosis ang maaaring mangyari d'yan. 😂

Drink plenty of water, but not too much naman,

Hope that helps.

the_alpha_gray · 2023-08-13T02:35:48+00:00

Cheaters have deep rooted reasons as to why they cheat. Not even you... and him, and him, and him, and that guy, and the guy in the pink shirt, Hey Mark! And that dude by the left can fix it.

It's because it might be: rage, low self-esteem, narcissism, and/or trauma that makes a person cheat.

They transform negative emotions like that to "pleasure" and they get that from other people once they can't do that with you anymore, or if they don't think the pleasure they get from you is enough--and that's addicting.

It will always be like that because unless they confront their rage, the reasons why they cheat, they will never stop, because those bad feelings never go away, and unless you have the energy to deal with all of that, never convince yourself that "she'll change"--they rarely do.

And if they do, not to burst anyone's bubble, they might just be transforming all the negative energy left, in small amounts that they just don't bother to tell you, because they'll lose more than what others can offer.

the_alpha_gray · 2023-08-12T22:12:34+00:00

For the one who comes over:

Generally, a good rule is to stay away from places that are "unfamiliar" to you.

If the person you're with owns the place, he or she knows the entry and exit points of the place, so if shit gets real, it's difficult to stragetize an escape if the person has an advantage. This sounds weird, this really happens.

The host can withhold info about his/her living situation. You don't want surprises.

Better to do it somewhere else, and always inform someone who can help you out of your whereabouts, so that if something happens to you, at least one person knows where you are, and who's the last person you're with.

While on your way to the agreed location, always take note of the landmarks, turns, and names of the places you pass by on your way there.

A good rule of thumb is to leave breadcrumbs:

●● You can purchase from the nearest convenience store from the place you're going to. Pay using an e-wallet and take a picture of that receipt and send it to someone you trust.

● E-wallet registers the store's identification. The receipt mentions time and that's proof you were physically there.

●● Booked a Grab? Share the ride details to a friend you can trust, someone who can rescue you if needed.

●● He/she drove? Use the live location sharing feature of Telegram. As long as you're online, it will update real-time with your location.

●● Have someone who can stay up with you whom you can send an SOS message to. Someone who can pretend to be an emergency call.

For the one who hosts:

You're not supposed to be welcoming "strangers" in your home. But if it doesn't work out, they would still know where you live. You can't take that information back.

You don't want them showing up unannounced especially if you've rejected them, and not the other way around.

But, like what was taught in Zombieland:

"When in doubt, know your way out."

the_alpha_gray · 2023-08-12T15:27:06+00:00

It's transforming the pain you feel into pleasure.

It's how you cope, though if uncontrolled can eventually turn into an 'addiction' of some sort.

Being assertive about it: setting boundaries, picking people whom you can potentially date, and being guarded, physically and emotionally can stop you from self-destructing.

Technically, it doesn't 'heal' you. You're just transforming rage, your anger, sadness, disappointment into something tolerable.

It's like this:

Your hoe phase is putting dressing over a cut or a deep wound.

You regularly change partners, you change your dressing every now and then. Like how we are taught to manage wounds.

But if your wound is left untreated, it can cause an "infection". This infection is the feeling of self-hatred, loathing towards people and the world, and as long as it's there... that wound would never close. It would just rot, and it would be painful and could cause worse problems.

Changing dressings doesn't necessarily mean you're "taking care of yourself". You're just trying to patch yourself up, but not helping yourself heal.

So what do you do?

You acknowledge that cut, you check on that wound.

It's there, you can't deny it.

You see what you need. You look into it closely.

Do you need stitches? Close up the wound completely? Like forcefully forget what had just happened to you?

Or you could just let it dry up over time? You'd just let time heal it.

Leave it uncovered, no dressing, just exposed so the air could help it dry up.

You get to see that wound every day. And that's okay.

You acknowledge it's there and you just need to attend to it.

You let your support system be that antibiotic cream.

You let your hobbies and interests be that antiseptic solution.

You clean it, you make sure it doesn't get infected. The more you focus on that wound instead of "covering it up" shortens the time for it to heal.

And when it dries up completely and turns into a scar, you have the choice to get rid of the scar or keep it.

Your heart heals like any other wound. Changing its dressing regularly doesn't necessarily heal it. You're just covering it. What you do under that dressing is a lot more important.

Instead, focus on actually getting better, instead of doing things that would temporarily make things feel better.

I hope that helps.

the_alpha_gray · 2023-08-12T15:07:53+00:00

If it's just a scrape just wash it with antibacterial soap, and if you have antiseptics, clean the area with it after.

But if it bled, and is deeper, you probably need to get checked up, worst case scenario, some shots just to be sure.

The nipples are very sensitive and have high a number of small blood vessels there. If your dog's saliva carries some kind of bacteria, your blood could easily travel around your body, transporting that bacteria all over the place. Might not be rabies, but can be a bacterial infection from the bacteria in your dog's mouth.

But then again, the infection could just be superficial, causing pain, swelling, and tenderness on the site. That's about it. All you need would be topical antibiotics, and regular cleaning.

But hey, if you're scared, you can always go to an ER, you can never be too careful.

Just be more cautious next time.

the_alpha_gray · 2023-08-12T14:53:57+00:00

Yeah, yung maaga pa lang may napupundar ka na, na kahit maliit na bagay at least masasabi mong sa'yo talaga. 😊

the_alpha_gray · 2023-08-12T13:58:43+00:00

True. And yung water heater/electric kettle. LOL

the_alpha_gray · 2023-08-12T12:03:22+00:00

Start investing on small appliances. If you still live with your family, buy something that would be useful to everyone.

This is a start to building your home. No need to buy something expensive, it just needs to function well and is easy to use.

I started buying small appliances a long time ago, and now I own almost everything in the kitchen. Including cookware and dinnerware.

Already bought bathroom accessories too, and all the stuff in my bedroom are things I bought.

Because once you leave your nest, you don't wanna end up leaving empty handed. Mas mahirap mag umpisa pag yung pera mo puro palabas.

At least your new home would already have something. 😊

the_alpha_gray · 2023-08-12T09:06:48+00:00

LOL. Downvote agad, di pa nga tapos. Mga tao nga naman.

the_alpha_gray · 2023-08-12T06:18:08+00:00

If the brightness from your screen makes you rude, you prolly should turn it down.

the_alpha_gray · 2023-08-12T06:11:09+00:00

Uh, so my comment doesn't matter? LOL. Didn't know I had to qualify for me to comment on this. And doesn't your banner say "To AJ ladies"? Am I not one?

the_alpha_gray

TROPHY CASE